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Just putting a ceremonial cancelling of Fish's comedy career in the schedule. We'll get the charity stuff out of the way first.

It's not unusual.

I've never known a newcastle supporter who isn't proud to claim the toy dolls nellie the elephant as one of our own.

I see Serbia’s last game is v Switzerland. Hoping Xhaka scores a late winner complete with eagle celebration and all hell breaks loose.

The wedding was in the castle we did Skye yesterday We’re sat in departures at Glasgow airport…had to stop on the way back down the A82 this morning to take this between Bridge of Orchy and Tyndrum

FFFFFEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWMMMMMMMMMMM.

Janet Street Porter walks into a bar and says to the barman, 'Could I have a large aperitif?' Barman says, 'I wouldn't have thought so'.

"There's been a beheading at the women's cup game at St. James' Park, Chris Kamara, but who to?"

I'm never away from the lost and found mackem dept with my proof of identity so I can claim a mackem Z list celebrity as a Geordie. It's a favourite hobby of mine and makes my insignificant life in my insignificant city complete. It's all I've got to live for as my team is really, actually shit and are just lucky at the minute and it's only a matter of time before we're sold by pif so they can buy Man U or Liverpool so I want to claim as many mackens as Geordies as I can so I too can look cool on holiday as I talk to fans of other teams who must hate Newcastle anaarl. FTM.

We've been so lucky. I feel like Dick Turpin every time I walk away from a win. 😁

And she grew up in DUBAI Tbh Sunlan had the best women's youth system in the country for a good few years. (make your own Chinese takeaway joke)

Also, we have exclusive footage of the groom’s friends & family, representing our home village of Morebattle, leaving the castle for the reception on Saturday

I couldn't name a player in their first team, let alone one from their women's team.

They should be happy. It's the only promotion a mackem's gonna get this season.

I see Dave’s changed his Twitter handle again….

Howay the time traveling sports washing shirt!

Click here to vote, or sign up to become a patron! Hi everyone! Myself and the team would like extend our gratitude to everyone who keeps the board running, not only members but our Patreon members who help fund the board. Much like the custodians before us we run Toontastic as a none profit organisation. We're a wonderful community, we've been around for nearly two decades and it's a project I'm privileged & proud to be part of. I'm sure the rest of the dictatorship will agree! Earlier in the year we donated a significant amount of surplus Patreon funds to both Red Cross Ukraine & Red Cross Yemen. This slightly deviated from our original plan to have an annual vote on a charity to send the funds to but needs must! We have taken your suggestions on the board over the last few weeks for charities that mean a lot to you, and now it is time for the vote! We will confirm the final amount to be donated once the poll ends, but at the moment it looks to be in the region of £500.

Yeah…. “Can you step away from the mic a bit Lauren? Ta luv”.

Also CT`s wank target putting out one tweet translates to all geordies everywhere claiming all dubious north-easterners as geordies in perpetuity.

These lads were top Mags back in the day

aye. rarely, if ever, have I been to a match where at some point the conversation hasn't turned to the rubber faced comedian or lightly salted tortilla crisps.

As distinct from his smoking jacket obvs.

Questions like "When's tea ready?" "Have you seen my going out jacket?" "Why are the kids crying?" "The house is a state, what have you been doing all day?"

They insist we should hate the lionesses because some of them played for Sunderland. They don't get not everyone is as bitter and twisted as they are.

My best guess is that chunksafc is grossly overweight, whose fantasies aren't just restricted to unlikely scenarios where Newcastle United are somehow moved US franchise style 3,000 miles away to an entirely different continent, to play in an ersatz Super League. My best guess is that he believes that lasses would be all over him if they realised what a nice guy he was. My best guess is that these fantasies give him comfort as he stares out the box room window ignoring his mam's calls to a tea of microwaved chicken dippers and cheesy chips. But that's just my best guess.

Not the dressing room snaps I was hoping for.

We're mentally fucked by their six wins and we'd be running scared on and off the pitch again? Outstanding, and I mean outstanding stuff there, like. 👍

Have they not got some bloke called Charlie Onion?

These die hard mags were up the M40 at Villa Park the day after this recording for the 2-2 draw

We have luckily scored the 4th most goals and have the equal first luckiest lack of goals conceded, spawny spawny bastards r us.

If you glance at RTG you would see that with their full team back from injury they would have given us a good seeing to as we've been dead lucky all season and are bound to hit a wall eventually. (tbf some of them were shitting it just in case).

shortly before they pulled it down, the leazes end would regularly rock to the sound of 'my ears have heard the glory of tom mensi singing songs' (disclaimer, I did actually think the angelic upstarts were superb!)

Questions need to be asked here, mind.

Ok - It's a straight up Vote between the following charities. Newcastle West/East End Foodbank Cancer Research Sir Bobby Robson/Daft as a brush The vote will take place on Patreon. At some point you'll receive an email directing you to the website and allowing you to vote in the poll. Probably when @andrew gets out of bed. We'll be able to confirm the overall amount etc and will try and organise the donation so it qualifies for Gift Aid

I mean if anyone was getting free tickets it would have been local women's and girls teams - which makes sense. Anyway - I went to SOL for lady mags vs the mackems in 2019. It was £3 in & £1 for concessions. Ive just looked up the crowd...it was 1,168. Which was a decent crowd at the time. However I've been to a few men's matches at SJP with a smaller crowd than 28k. It's a great crowd for any women's game, it's absolutely sensational for a 4th division team. But they just can't say it can they

Serbs are cunts tbh

Nice to see Matt Ritchie enjoying himself during the WC break.

I mean...they weren't handing out free tickets at all but whatever Great day out, enjoyed myself.

Like they’re in a position to talk about free tickets.

That German shirt makes them look like the baddies from the 2022 remake of Escape to Victory.

Plans to beat it already in motion

Not that finances are really an issue for us anymore but those kind of attendances, even with cheap tickets, will be massive for the Women’s team to invest in what they need to progress