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Didn't take long

'I'd love to go and see us win our first trophy in 54 years but can't really be arsed'.

I’m excited. It’s ages since I’ve been crushed by the disappointment of losing a final

Imagine waiting 53 years to see us lift a cup, only to find out CT is sat next to you Do the decent thing Tubs, get some Blue Moon in and order a new Garden Sofa from Gypsy George’s Legit House Clearance Warehouse.

They'll have woke up up this morning and for the first 3 seconds it'll be just another day.... Then the moment where they remember..... OHUH NOWUH! THE FUCKUN MAGS WON! AH DINNUT BELLEYVE IT! ME DAYUHS REWEND!

And then everyone on the bus stood up and applauded.

'You can stick your Jules Rimet up your hole, this is the one I dreamt of holding when I was growing up in the favella'.

"We'll have Southampton, second leg at St James" "St James' you mean"

WHAT IN THE HOLY FUCK IS THAT GIF ABOUT? I feel traumatised. And slightly aroused.

cup-winning after party back at mine. renton's sorting the booze. ct is catering

Ross Stewart has been absolutely ROBBED.

We're turning our back on the Liverpool-hosted Eurovision and heading to a villa by the beach in Gran Canaria instead. Soz, Scousers.

Well where's the fun in that?

I listened to a couple of the True Faith episodes recently (the ones on the Arsenal and Sheffield Wednesday matches) and can't be doing with it. My first issue is word repetition. After the Arsenal game the word 'class' must been been used at least 100 times and after the FA Cup game it was the same with 'raging'. Get a fucking thesaurus and come up with something fresh. The other problem is that they don't appear to know how to swear. The use the term 'fucking' a lot but it's used in the completely wrong places and with zero emphasis. It's like 12 year old public schoolboys trying to rebel.

My savings would disappear if we won the cunt

Please get promoted so you can find out how weak the league is and how not good the mags are. Or fail to get out of the championship whilst looking up and declaring how shit the league you can't get into is. The choice is yours, you fucking divs.

Southampton l, second lef at home. Anyone know a good place to park in North London?

If it's owt like the last one, you'll be hoying a wobbler 40 minutes from now as Sky go to another ad break. "'ot water bottle's gettin cold, AH SAY OT WATER BOTTLE'S GETTIN COLD!"

🚨 DO NOT GET YOUR HOPES UP 🚨

CT is so close to getting the hang of this football thing.

I think I’ve found the greatest couple of paragraphs in the history of journalism https://www.irishtimes.com/culture/tv-radio-web/harry-and-meghan-the-union-of-two-great-houses-the-windsors-and-the-celebrities-is-complete-1.4504502

One of my favourite things about yesterday is Miggy is now adding assists to his game. His through balls to Willock in the first minute and for Big Joe's goal were beautiful. He can't possibly keep up his scoring rate but adding this to his game means his fret just keeps increasing. Howe has unleashed the beast

Honestly it's not even a maturity thing, I just cannot be fucked typing out Man Utd with that fucking space between the words when my phone can just predictive "manure" into it and it's done.

She was being deeply sarcastic

Prutton asked the pair of them about young English managers at the moment and they both talked about Frank and Steve. Not Potter, Howe, Cooper, O'Neil who are all currently out performing Lampard (18th in the League) and Gerrard (Unemployed after being shit), no, they're happy for Frank and Steve. They both sounded very much like Old Men shouting at Clouds. "Players can't go for 6-7 pints of an evening now." "Won't be as much fun though" That's right Steve, that's right Neil, professional fucking athletes can't go and get shit faced the night before a game because they're professional fucking athletes. Jesus Christ. Then Prutton asked if any young managers had asked either of them for advice, and they seemed genuinely offended that a young, modern manager wasn't desperate to shadow them. Sorry Steve, not many young managers are going to want to sit on a Portguese sun lounger watching you turn puce as you escape criticism for how fucking awful your brand of football is.

I taught my dog to play the trumpet on the London Underground... We went from Barking to Tooting in half an hour.

There’s a 2 in 3 chance we’re going to get one of the ugly sisters from mancyland in the semis, I think all talk of the final should be banned

48 Pages / 954 posts on our game tonight.......but remember they don't care about us FTM🤣

can you make sure you’re working for every remaining game this season please? It’s only fair

In my opinion Ashley never intended to be with us for the long haul. I think he bought us intending to asset strip and quickly sell on at a big profit, saddling us with long term commercial deals with sports direct in the process like he did at rangers. It explains the lack of due diligence as he was confident he could make money in the short term. In that light every decision he made makes more sense, as it was to make do and mend till he could find a sucker to palm us off onto. So no surprise he wasnt interested in spending on the academy which could take years to see a return. The same goes for long term commercial partnerships. The only flaw in his plan was he wanted too much money for the club, which got more of a problem as he hollowed us out and ran down the squad and facilities.

Is anyone even pretending that Klopp is anything other than a top shelf cunt at this stage? If you're not a cunt, you simply never come out with this shit. Maybe in a horrible moment, you do it once. He does it every other week.

£6.5m if he cleans the shit off the seats first.

shite

How's the smerky bacon, did you say?

Like and Errrrm are repeated a FUCKING LOT by that stupid spaniel titted bitch

You can’t generalise about the population of an entire city Dave. Coming from Seaton Delaval I can see why the working classes might upset someone as sensitive as yourself but ffs you’re sounding like Stevie

Yeah, the dead don't talk.

With this as our walk on music?

I wonder what the timeline was there ? Did Guntzilla drop her dinner first, then Einstein went Turd Bobbing?

That’s what she said.

For anybody not old enough......Ruud Gulliit wanted sexy football when appointed as manager and somehow that photo appeared in The Sun

ewerk pretty much nailing it here. I bought meself a bottle of red wine and a bottle of radox stress relief bubble bath and listened to it having a soak. mrs bd kept shouting up asking why the fuck are you listening to it when you know it's just gonna wind you up. which is a reasonable point. will probably tune in to the 2nd part just to hear the cunt claim we're all arsonists who were threatening to set his families houses on fire. might get 2 bottles of radox for that one.