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Indeed. Imagine having such a huge chip on your shoulder that your waking hours are dominated by the testicle gripping fear that your hated neighbours might do well or - heaven forfend - actually win something. I think their stance is that, since their club is a steaming piece of shit run by clown shoes and carpetbaggers, the only thing that brings some enjoyment is seeing the hated maggy bastards fail. To the point that our matches seem to be more interesting to the RTG window lickers than their own (no doubt the years of piss taking and general ridicule from the ever present “mags at work” or “mags on holiday” have added fuel to the fire). Of course when we do well, it’s only because of that dirty rotten saudi blood money buying success, so it doesnt count like it does when you’re a “proper” club with “proper” fans with “proper” owners in a “proper” league (like them ). Righto, jealous much? That wispy noise on the wind is the sound of many six fingered hands clutching frantically at straws…..

Can we move this to the Secret forum when it’s done, just to save a few mackem’s blood pressure?

He’s just celebrated his eleventy-first birthday 👍🏻

Fine! What do you think, Fish? Do you think Diego would say we should sign him or not?

er, no. we win, you keep posting the match thread. dems da rules

They now want the penalty rules changed so Mitrovic would have had a second chance🤣

"Get onto Mitrovic, tell him to kick the ball off his other foot thus voiding any penalties they may score from. Tell him we've still got the photos. Make sure Alan Shearer is on match of the day and they show the slip in detail for the viewers in Wearside to see."

probably ct fucking up the system again....

You’re going to be fuckin gutted when Chris Wood starts v Palace 😆

Been moved to their membership only section, entitled "NUFC Sportswashing compendium thread*. January 2023.". 72 pages, 1430 posts. Not even half way through January.

last one for me, the pressure's getting too much. I'm hoping for an early sending off for palace and 4-1 away win romp..... fingers crossed!

What the fuck am I? Chopped liver? Fuck all y'all

Trippier picking up the foam and moving it forward after the ref had told him to take it further back

No, just two left feet with fridges on them (TM the brokencapshift)

I'm interested to see if Howe decides to start Wilson and Isak together next match. It was a definite change in system from a clear three in midfield (two 6s and a number 8 ) to a more conventional flat central midfield 2 with Isak playing as something like an old school 10 roaming in between the lines behind Wilson. It worked really well with Maxi on the field. He stretched the pitch as he always does and we looked much more dangerous as a result. The game was more open though so I'm not sure if Howe will fancy starting him away from home just yet. Away to Palace, I think we might see a 4-4-1-1/4-2-3-1 type setup with Longstaff and Joelinton in the middle and Willock from the left as a kind of narrow winger. Bruno usually gives enough stability in midfield to allow Joelinton more attacking freedom, but with Bruno missing Joelinton may be asked to sit alongside Longstaff more often with Willock, being not so suited to the holding midfielder role, asked to be a bit more static in the wide role to be an outlet for Longstaff, support midfield in defence and carry the ball on the counter. Then to provide the width on the left without sacrificing too much defensive solidity, Isak could play behind Wilson and drift wide (particularly to the left wing) to find space in between the lines. Its times like these that I bet Howe wished he had a left back who naturally provides the width. Burn massively contributes to the somewhat lopsidedness of our shape in attack. Although he's better in attack than he might appear for someone of his build. Anyway, it's interesting as I think Howe will be forced to bring Isak into the starting XI in Bruno's absence because we simply don't have another midfield option in the squad. The other option is to bring in ASM and play a more natural 4-2-3-1. I don't mind that solution but I think Howe would prefer to start Isak, especially away from home. It was an excellent game today. Chuffed that Howe went for it. It was a sign that he's perhaps accepted that we'll have to sacrifice defensive structure at times to break down teams that plan to sit in and defend against us when we're at home. First signs that Howe is prepared to shift to a Plan B if required and it worked a treat.

Maybe hes got 6 toes?

Just seen the goal. Great to see Wilson keep digging and great anticipation from Isak. The buzz when we scored. Shame CT was on the concourse wondering why he was wearing a nappy.

Embarrassing day at the match today. Youngest daughter booked the tickets and had us seated in the middle of a row. Obvs had a little too much to drink and after 10 minutes had to excuse myself for a piss….. Then couldn’t find my seat so had to wait downstairs to be rescued at half time Mortified.

The only reason Fulham lost against us was that theu were holding themselves back to give themselves the best chance of keeping touch Vs the top team in the NE in the FA Cup marra

Don't be so sure, Robin Robin could run me close, but I'm not exactly sure how hobbit-years work

Just turn the other Loftus-Cheek

Christian Politics are a minefield.

No thanks from the hierarchy now for CN* for putting out transfer rumours and failing to dampen expectations. Sad. *See Wykiki for details.

Luke’s been told by his editor GET SOME TRANSFER STORIES YOU CAAAAANT

They'll always be able to console themselves they are better *insert imaginary quality here*. More classy, more moral, more liked. Or the latest thing, their charvers are harder.

Gina Lollobrigida, 95. I remember watching Solomon and Sheba as a young lad and hers being the first really spectacular pair I'd noticed - a milestone if you will. RIP.

but apart from that he's excellent

Beautiful thread TiTle

Craig, offer to fix his Shift key and see if TBD will sort you out.

murphy coming on as sub with 5 to go and immediately going down with cramp was beautiful

This thread has potential. Was a bit disappointed Lascelles didn't manage to get himself a red card.

you missed one - i quite liked pope sprinting over to the bench, getting an instruction from mad dog, then instantly lying down like he was injured to create a stoppage so bruno could get his ankle strapped. first class SH

%♤☆¥♧₩¿°\》▪︎《~ FUCK OFF!

Very happy with Longstaff’s performances. He’s gone from being someone practically everyone wanted out the club to a major part of our being in the CL spots. I’m sure there are plenty of upgrades out there but he’s doing sone sterling work. Another Howe success story

Not arsed. They can keep us out of the title challenging patter. I’m just looking at the table contentedly.

The worst experience I had with eBay was selling an iPhone on it. I listed it as not working/for parts and someone paid the full asking price, no returns accepted. Next thing the dickhead I sold it to issued a claim against me as it wasn’t as described. ebay sided with him and sent the cunt his money back. Obviously he had tried to fix it to sell on at a profit and realised he couldn’t so stuck a claim in.

https://www.nufcblog.co.uk/2023/01/16/newcastle-close-in-on-e10m-deal-player-keen-and-personal-terms-being-discussed-report/ This 18 year old Fresnada lad off Real Valladolid, who'd be cover for Trippier, seems like it might be a goer. His agent is supposedly in London, and I'm pretty sure I've seen a quote from the Real Valladolid owner more or less saying he expects him to go. I can never remember which of these "in the know" twitter people are more or less full of shite or not, but old Jacques Talbot is reporting this. Not the most exciting transfer of course, but it makes the squad stronger.

Don't particularly want to get into this as I don't want to appear to be defending drink driving but for me the most important thing isn't the club showing some public punishment for a player who by all accounts is remorseful, but to provide adequate pastoral care and make sure it doesn't happen again, to him or any other player. I don't get the impression the current players we have are irresponsible dickheads in the way they previously have been (e.g. under Robson) but obviously I'm not privvy to any of that, but I don't see newspaper headlines to contradict this. I would say though that the time when Darren Gibson wrote off half a street of cars, they publicly sacked him, knowing full well he was also a liability on the pitch and therefore no loss. In contrast, they played a player they knew to be a paedophile who happened to be essential to for them to avoid relegation. But that's not my point. Watching that Netflix documentary it was crystal clear Gibson had huge problems with alcohol prior to his crash, and the club seemed to provide zero pastoral care for him. Just put a young man, an alcoholic, up to live in Ramside Hall ffs. And then washed their hands.

there's apparently seven million illiterate folk in the uk. my theory is this is largely down to the unnecessary complicating of the alphabet system during the early days of education. I mean what the fuck is little k's and kicky k's all about?

home! the wait for a first half goal goes on. really thought wilson should've buried his chance to break that first half jinx but there you go. looked like another leeds game or worse when they got the penalty and didn't know what the fuck was going on, think everybody was expecting it being retaken at first, so obviously delighted. equally so with isak's goal, hoping he gets a good injury free run now because we really have lost our cutting edge of late. anyway, all's well that ends well..... onwards and upwards!

We were described as "staying in touch".

No, he'll shit himself when we do.