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🎶 It's a good time to check his hard drive It's a good time to start It's a bit like Rolf Harris But with football not with art Goodbye touchy feely Hello Durham jail It's a good, good time to check his hard drive He's a classic predator male. 🎵

Why is Karius keeping in what can only be described as a pair of Gemmill's driving gloves

Alreet grandad?

Gemmill's got one on his Jeep I hear. The news the Roald Dahl was being rewritten broke him and he's nowhe's reunited with his mam and he takes her weekly shopping in Tescos iirc.

Mrs Fish wants a personalised number plate.

That’s Radford, Motson and Hereford all dead. Looking good for Sunday

What you planning to spend your £20 on?

Cabal of Tyneside businessmen must be infiltrating the Football Supporters Association.

To educate Newcastle’s non-local players about the significance of Sunday’s match, Howe invited club legend Nobby Solano to address the team. The Peru international made 230 Newcastle appearances across two spells between 1998 and 2007. “The club’s really good about getting ex pros in,” Longstaff said. “Nobby Solano talked about what it means for the club. I used to watch him play and I know how good he was, and you see him sat there. He said they weren’t quite able to get it over the line and win a trophy but we’ve got an opportunity and they don’t come along every day. That just put it into perspective.”

And a chat up line too. probably

You have my attention …

Oh dear, I can see where this is heading.

MF has

Genuinely think we have a chance but the seasoned Newcastle fan in me is braced for defeat, forever doomed to disappointment.

I tweeted that genius (with due credit cited)

Wife is a skier Meribel. Wifes colleague has an apartment there so going with them. Hoping for some swinging too

£10

I am at 10% excitement and 90% dread.

What’s red and invisible? No tomatoes

About 15 degrees that day and the cunt still had a herd of fuckin Texels wrapped round him

Just thinking there how mental it is that Pardew used the word "raped" as a football pundit.

Didn’t have a cherry tomato, used a turnip instead.

Tell her it’ll make the headlight eyelashes look shite…

Best part is he’s tweeted that thinking it’s good

Rubbish, that's a chat up line in Yorkshire man !!!

He looks a right cunt

Aye her usual alternative to a tomato is a pizza.

Growing our economy faster than the rest of the G7 isn't an impossible task for any semi-competent government given that they'll be starting from a lower base than the rest of the other countries due to over a decade of Tory fuck ups. Now isn't the time for detailed policy because by the time the election comes most people have forgotten about the policies and when they're brought up again the rest will say it's just a rehash of old ideas and Labour doesn't have any fresh solutions. Now is about forming and solidifying the image in the public's head of Keir Starmer as a genuine Prime Minister, something Corbyn failed miserably at.

I respect where he came from and what he has achieved, and to some extent I understand why he is so cautious with the media now, but I find his rhetoric increasingly cowardly and frankly nauseating (like Shamima Begum today for instance). He knows people like me will still vote for him so seems to be happy just to take the piss. I'm just hoping he has more substance in office because these fucking three word soundbites aren't saving the country. At least recognise the multiple elephants in the room Keith you Arsenal-supporting nobhead.

I'm convinced you've got silhouettes of seagulls crossed out, like the flying aces of WWI and II.

Motson signed up to Match of The Dead

That's got to be a euphemism. Back to Gloomy, the lad's only going for a few days in April, with kids. Wild campingin the Knoydart is probably a bit optimistic.

Fucking nonce

He was an absolutely class drummer tbh. The syncopated fills on “A day in the life” are nuts. Although he seems a bit of a knacker like. From taking two suitcases full of tins of baked beans to India to asking his fans not to send Mail in the most hilarious way l, and I quote… ”I am warning you with peace and love..”

Motson was quite rude to @PaddockLadonce so his chronicle rating would've been 'Some redeeming features'. RIP

Joelinton needs to put a reducer on Dinner Boy early doors.

Pfft, not a patch on John Anderson…

i'm thinking something along these lines

It is targeted at a readership with the memory of goldfish, so today's "truth" has no relevance to yesterdays "truth".

I'm oscillating wildly between getting wildly excited and horrifically pessimistic.

“One more time” oh dear

His tent must’ve been fragrant

My mate who didn't get a ticket got a call from the box office today offering him and the 2 lads he sits with tickets in the posh seats together

There was a jeep in Tesco car park earlier. 4 "D-day 75th anniversary" stickers on it and a "Jeep won a war. Your Honda mows my lawn." sticker on the back. Tell me you voted for Brexit without telling me you voted for Brexit.