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Gooooood Morning

What can I say What a fucking day out. Started calorie counting this week and calculated myself 2 pre match Neck Oils. Ended up post match dancing on the tables in Wunderbar to gime gime gime. Got home in a thoroughly drunk state and woke up with a horrific hangover at 2.30 Even managed to fit my toilet runs in between the goals. I had two bets on. Isak for a hat trick and Newcastle to win 5-2 so that added to the excitement for a while. I just can’t ever remember being at a game like that, (Maybe Leicester / The Andy Cole game???), it’s been on the cards all season but bloody never expected it yesterday. What a fucking club we’ve got now and May Eddie reign for years to come.

Tell me he didn't have a better understanding of this football lark than CT though.

I see Howay is famous in the blue mackems circles 😂

No surprise that the stained glass windowed one @Renton is from slave owner stock. Absolutely disgusting. Looks like an extra off Rentaghost these days too, the slave driving bastard. PS if you read the article, he's "starting to atone for it" by accepting Joe Willock's new haircut. BIG WOW.

'Its an actual real live Sheila!'

Cristian Stellini: Tottenham sack interim manager after Newcastle thrashing https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/65365163 Only one man can save their season now.

What's going on lads? Do we have a female on the board or not?

another big money saudi signing. how can we expect your liverpools, chelseas and tottenhams to compete? the game's gone

Louise Taylor at the press conference. Howe gets asked if he thinks Willock is knocking on the door for England and answers at length. A couple more questions come in and the final question goes to Taylor: Do you think Joe Willock is getting closer to an England call up? Yeah I've just answered that..... Thanks everyone. End of press conference.

One of my the project managers at work is a spurs fan, I just sent a meeting request for 12:54

I can’t see nothing except an away defeat. Soz

beyond fucking tragic man. I once stopped at the holiday Inn near the train station in turin. which obviously means I'm an authority on all things juventus. these daft Italian cunts might well believe that they've played in black and white since 1903 on account of an irrefutable link with notts county, but they're wrong. my grandad, who worked at thorntons in eldon square when it first opened in 1901 was over there on holiday and just happened to have a haversack full of newcastle strips which he gave to an old lady. not only that, he taught them how to make nutella and founded the ferrero factory. I demand they be our friends.

I love how there's no pretence of any kind of clever puns any more

It's not Haaland. He's amazing and a machine, but because he's a machine I don't trust him. One of these games his skin will slough off and he'll turn on the humans.

This photo plastered all over the training ground ought to do it.

I was trying to think who is the most improved player under Howe. So much choice. Almiron, Joelinton, Willock, Murphy, Longstaff, Schar even. For me though Joelinton is the epitome. I could always see something in the other players, but Joelinton was a fucking 40 million quid cart horse. His transformation has been nothing short or miraculous. I fucking love watching the two targaryens ping it to each other in midfield and he is fast becoming my favourite player. And the fact we had all these players on the books and Howe transformed them... he's saved us hundreds of millions.

As has been said before, it's really strange that so many teams have their worst performance of the season against us - it's like there's no other factors at work.

Southgate will pick Henderson even when the cunts in a wheelchair over Willock. Blokes an utter prick. I saw him last week btw in Harrogate. He even looks boring just walking.

Double figures already and the mad bastard missed about 20 games of the season

Well I picked a good match to go to. I absolutely couldn’t believe what I was seeing, genuinely mind blowing stuff. 5 nil after 20 minutes and after that we played a training game.

@Howay can I have your autograph mate?

Also.

3 guesses where the Sunderland historian reckons Bilbao got their strip colours from ...

I was still assuming it was a lad.

Uh oh. The toontastic perv brigade are out. Run Greta, run!

No need to be a cunterhead about it

Yeah, nah. You can have one account for this desperately unfunny bollocks.

That's a really good point, to be fair. Say the new owners had taken the scorched earth approach and we'd sold/dumped the likes of Joelinton, Murphy, Longstaff, Schar. How much would we have got for them in total? £15-20m? How much would it have cost to buy a combative, box-to-box midfielder of Joelinton's current standard? Caicedo's valued at £70m+, Longstaff current standard? Another £20m+? A ball playing centre back with Schar's passing range? No idea. It also means when it comes to moving on those players they'll be going for significantly more, plus the premium that was previously enjoyed by the likes of ex-Man Utd, Arsenal, Liverpool players. I'm not getting ahead of myself, but if Howe wins a trophy or two, we'll be talking about him in the same breath as Harvey, Keegan and Robson.

Fuck it, I'd rather he gets a week's rest rather than going away with England.

"Feeling Juicy!".

They’re essentially mackems, of the scouse sub species but equally as thick and fucking inbred. Hope we fucking demolish them and get them out this division once and for all. Less scousers is better for the PL, and these fraudulent cunts have been pretending they’re of importance for years. Them and mr Brexit breath can fuck right off, I expect to see Tindall hitting a double biceps pose as Mr disc beard bastard is kicking off after a 3-0 win for the toon.

“how many calories are there in a regular crayon”

Isak screaming at Willock after his first goal about that pass "WHAT IS THAT? WHAT IS THAT? FUCK SAKE MAN!"

Class, they can pin it up on the wall if they want the fact their players don’t give a flying fuck about their shite irrelevant club is half their problem. It’ll probably demotivate them even more knowing that’s the external perception of them.

@Howay can I have your babies mate?

Mind, I’m desperate to see what they fire out with when they release their findings

Surely you have to factor in that no one likes Spurs.

This son of West Gorton (via mother ) hopes you smash that shitty Salford/London/Dublin/Bombay hybrid in the FA cup final

He's had a few of them now. They're racking up.

I'd almost forgotten that, that also helped them massively as it got the crowd hot and bothered, broke up the play when we looked pretty comfortable against them.

Boring to watch marra. FTM.

Just looking at the table and my much-vaunted crystal ball and I see a series of unpleasant outcomes for this lot: - narrowly miss out on the play-offs, and there's every chance they get second season syndrome and just become an also-ran from next season on. - make the playoffs but lose and get consigned to another season in the Championship + second season syndrome. - get promoted and have 38 games of pure unadulterated torture as they spend the entire season in the relegation zone. I'd prefer option 3 just for the lols. I know most Sunderland fans will prefer 1 or 2 cos they love being in the Championship anyway and they know they would be comfortably mid table in the Premier League so why bother going to the trouble of getting promoted and proving it.

Caulkin's latest headline.