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So his point is if Sunderland was a top side more people would turn up to watch? What an astute observation. So his dream is that they average a bit less than we currently do, and that supposedly makes them bigger than Arsenal, Chelsea, and Man City? Imagine. Let’s be honest, Sunderland is a total dump, imagine if the locals didn’t molest seagulls, defecated in actual toilets, didn’t support and make excuses for sex offenders, got actual jobs so they could contribute something to the country, stopped pushing staffys around in prams, and had any type of culture that wasn’t based on just abusing people. Imagine, it would maybe be slightly better than Rotherham.

That’s about it. It was Wilson of all people at the turn of the year, look how that turned out. Targett is becoming better and better the longer he sits on the bench, I think we have Roberto Carlos sitting on there now

You should have just smashed him full in the face and told him to apologise or you'd do it again.

Today, thousands of people will line the streets for when he officially takes over. He's waited patiently enough years for this moment. Tears will be shed. It'll certainly be an emotional moment for him and his family, with millions watching on TV from around the globe. Good luck Sam Allardyce.

Peacefully protesting = bad Abusing your role as a police officer to rape and harass women = fine until one of them eventually goes too far Glad we know where the lines are

Was struck at the Southampton game by how much stick he gets from some quarters if he doesn’t play an inch perfect pass. Some fucking knackers just need to have a boo boy, don’t they? I think he’s done a fucking fantastic job tbh

Eddie talking about Expected Goals in his Arsenal press conference. ONE IN THE EYE for the thick cunts on here. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!

Carra not so keen to make an issue on Allison's time wasting it seems?

Long to rain over us

He could annoint himself.

One thing I will say - I wish I felt able to be part of the joy around that whole event. I wish they/this basis for running a country represented me, I wish it was something I could feel proud of and join with my fellow citizens in. As it is, it's just a depressing reminder of everything that's wrong with our nation. There is much to be proud of the UK for, but none of this is it.

Found it.....

Eldest daughter and a couple of her mates having a few days away in........ Romania. Apparently the apartment is lush and so is where they're staying. Recommended by a friend they work with. Fair play for trying new places.

what a surprise. The free speech brigade say freedom of expression is inappropriate today

Hope the forecast is right and it pisses down on all the servile fucking touchers tbh

Imagine if they weren’t charging Northern Premier League prices to get in. Imagine

Team Sausaged YP.

Aye. Jesus christ. I remember it was on ITV originally and all my mates at school were going on about it, but my parents were incredible snobs and didn't like me watching that channel (and I mean, let's remember, we had another THREE channels to choose from then, being generous by including BBC2 which mainly was Open University and the embryonic C4 which was fucking wrist slittingly DIRE back then)! Anyway, I finally persuaded them to put it on and it was the episode that starts with them playing cards as its pissing down outside. And they were nude cards so that was the end of that for a while. They only changed their mind when my uncle told them how great it was. Looking back I'm amazed I survived childhood.

Aye was on about it earlier. It's the whole phases of play thing. He was a yard offside but the ball went across the box to another player. They played it back across to Salah. By this stage he's not offside, but he's still a yard ahead of the defender cos of his previous offside position. It's fucking ridiculous. That's the same phase of play so he should be offside.

Sounds like your soulmate tbh.

Tell him you're gonna kick his entire face in next time you see him. Then send him a dick pic.

Sky pundits talking about Liverpool like they’re doing a podcast for the Liverpool Echo is nauseating

His nose is too near his arse.

Carra on the mic, dalglish's daughter presenting with ex-liverpool redknaap in the studio.

Nicking some of the Archbishop of Canterbury's patter and inviting my lass to "receive the rod of equity and mercy" later on. What a thing to say to Camilla on Charlie's big day.

Schade coming on. He's a smooth operator.

The sky commentary, 'only taken 18 minutes for the feel good factor to go' I'm not one to presume Leeds fans feelings but I'm guessing that being in a relegation fight with allardyce as your manager will have the feel good factors in pretty short supply around elland road?

I reckon the sequel will out in about 10 years or so. I’ll be slightly more fired up that one, since we know what Kate is hiding under the robes.… Tbf, we also know what Camilla is hiding under hers, but no one wants to see that. * one of the above is nsfw, I’ll let you pick which.

KK - perfectly deserving and would cause Wearside to implode with fewm.

Were we not getting 50k+ while we were shit and getting relegated..?

It's funny how they hate Megan Markle so much yet shrug their shoulders at the paedophile nonce Prince, saying "every family has a black sheep". Fucking tapped man.

Sitting in the garden, lovely day. Holiday in for tomorrow's game, back to work on Monday night, zero tolerance for TV royal licky bum bum stuff.

Check their hard drives

May I just say you can stick your coronation up your arse, not my king and go fuck yourself, and I hope it pisses down on each and everyone of your street parties you pathetic forelock tugging wankers. As if it wasn't bad enough the tories are stealing hundreds of millions of pounds for this pathetic charade, they are using it as another excuse to impose their authoritarianism on us, now effectively arresting us for our clothing and for thought crimes. This country is turning to shit in front of our eyes, we've got more in common with Russia than we may care to admit.

There’s no punchline. That’s the anecdote

I mean he does have form for going against the grain on here

Lad I knew lived with his brother who was properly OCD. Every time I went to their place I’d just slightly tip a few pictures to one side or another. Apparently it drove him mental, but my moment of glory was when I realised he had a square, abstract bit of art hanging up. Everytime I went, it got rotated 90°, which according to his brother gave him the fucking yips as he knew something was off, but couldn’t quite tell what it was. I really am a bit of a cunt.

@sammynb that's bullshit man. Dealing with similar nonsense here. Our good solid wood furniture ended up in a storage unit when we moved because my other half seems to prefer that shitey IKEA flatpack chipboard shite. In slightly related news, I've just been reminded of an old trick I used to pull to get her to deep clean the living room. Just move two or three bits of furniture slightly when she's at work, and sit back when she gets home and watch her maniacally move them back before deciding to completely rearrange the whole room, hoovering every corner that was previously concealed by sofas in the process. I'm gonna leave her to it and head down the pub for a few hours.

I don’t know, but it kills 99% of known germs.

Fish answering like....

Update: Fucker's sold to the first person that showed up and I didn't have to ship to Boldon thank fuck.

Aye, I’m not really bothered what these helmets do we just need to focus on our own games. It would be nice if it was mathematically done but we basically need 2 wins from 5 games, that’s about as in your own hands as you could ever hope for a CL race.

I know the daft melts that camp out for days in advance for these sort of events are a bit special at the best of times, but some of these dangerous bastards need executing.

I’m out with the hairy danger for his walk, it’s glorious here. Should’ve held the thing at St. Bart’s

Gemmill would certainly be part of a hung (like a Chinese mouse) jury