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I hope he wins Rear of the Year.

The exact moment I found out about the blue star result.....

You put that better than I did.

wished you'd never posted this, was completely unaware. ruined my day it has, if not the entire summer.

Murphy working on his levitation skills.

Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep.

Just been to visit my friends’ new baby. They asked me if I wanted to wind him. I thought that was a bit harsh, so I just gave him a dead leg.

Took Denton Dene good and proper, marra

Starting to think we need to sign someone more for social cohesion on the forum than for the club itself ffs

Yes they can, just order a shirt from the Nike team wear catalogue as if they were the manager of Seaham Red Star, then order a few Sunderland patches from eBay. #business #teamwear #entrepreneur #hopetheirlassisgoodatironingonpatches

A delight to note that, after the initial story broke, the social media rumour mill took approximately four nanoseconds to start pointing the finger at Graham Norton, Rylan, Alan Carr, and all the other most wildly unimaginative choices you could possibly come up with. Although it says a lot about the whole situation that I've waited until now to complain about this lack of imagination just in case it turned out to be one of them after all.

This girl 2 days ago was a Sunderland player and from today she has become the love of my life.

Sorry if this has already come up, but I didn't realise that the Mackems shirt sponsorship deal with Nike is actually fuck all to do with Nike. It's with a sportswear company in Spennymoor who buy the Nike shirts in themselves and then print them for other clubs. They're the same templates Sunday League clubs use

That 18-minute period in the first half is funnier than any TV comedy I've seen. Even the Mindy Project.

You don’t choose what they do with the money though. You can choose not to pay your tv licence and won’t even be pursued in the courts any more if you don’t either. One doesn’t really have the same luxury if (for example) you’ve got water pissing all over your kitchen and don’t possess the requisite skills to put that right before your house turns into a swimming pool. Or, to put it as simply as I can, you have absolute no right to make any moral judgment about how anyone else chooses to spend their wages. Even more so if they aren’t doing anything other than offend your delicate sensibilities 👍🏻

Some of my money if you pay a plumber to fix your kitchen tap do you have an input on where they spend their summer holidays like? Have a quiet word with yourself.

I just heard now and all my pocket cheese has gone sour.

CT scurrying to set up his new eeetseeeyuh page.

I thought the Phillip Schofield witch-hunt was because of his sexuality tbh. Or a major factor in the ‘uproar’ / moral outrage anyway. You could point to this latest carry on as countering that argument but, let’s by honest, this was just George Osbourne calling in a favour

Yeah I thought the same, it would be beautifully fuckin poetic for Murdoch & his goons at the sun if they were charged with blackmailing him. Looks like Murdoch wants to kill the bbc before he dies. I have more contempt for him, his shitty family, and his various lieutenants over the years than I have for just about anyone else on the planet..

Aye I mentioned it a few days ago, apart from the moans and the fact that they'll be getting peanuts as the original deal must've been signed off when they were floundering in the third division, the best bit is they've just renewed the contract for another four years. Gerrin!

Is MF scouting those new players?

We all do.

I'm sorry mate, I thought like me you would be crying in your gravy stained replica top in Scotswood last night? I'm fucking gutted an amateur club not in any way related to NUFC lost a friendly last night, absolutely gutted. I could hardly get out of bed this morning.

So they are frapping themselves silly because their U21s beat Newcastle last night. Newcastle Blue Star, in the ninth tier of English football. They are fucking mental, especially this Gipetto lad who has convinced himself we are all gutted.

Its because the seagulls have figured out what the tramps really want so the post is for looking for a similarly sized bird for romantic encounters

We provide the arms, the Ukrainians provide the blood. It’s much more preferable to British boots on the ground. The figures you hear quoted aren’t all new spending. Much of it comes from within the existing defence budget and much of what we’re sending was already stockpiled Basically it’s much cheaper to send the arms than the personnel.

Years from now they will look back at what was the spark for the troubles restarting and it will be the shite patter in this thread.

Fuck off

I was just happily playing the champion's league music in the house when I got the news that Newcastle blue star were defeated by Sunderland under 21s. The needle on the record player abruptly scratched and returned to the cradle as I entered into a dark place of depression and abject apathy. It was almost like playing a few seasons in the third division of English football and kidding yourself on that it was like a breath of fresh air. I'm not sure when, if ever, I'll get over it? Can anyone write a decent requiem? (Asking for a broken hearted mag-at-work).

his brain couldn't cope when "BUJ" turned out to be absolutely fucking class.

Personally I can’t wait for him to conduct his first interview on his new show on GB News… “ Huw Gets to the Bottom of It!” If there is a god, it’ll be Sam Fox, with her Mammas out, discussing how the Sun paid her to get ‘em out when she turned 16. Huw, of course, will present the show in a pair of backless leather Chaps.

I think they were and I was saying just that to my lass the other day

Just in case @wykikitoon has spent the day in a sensory deprivation chamber and not had his day ruined by: People Weather Cars Etc Here, have this fucker!

I miss Essemmbee, too.

Just be careful about the resort. As the north end of the island is really mountainous. So even a lot of the places at the coast (like Paleo) can mean your ‘5 minutes from the beach’ is actually up / down a steep hill. The resorts on the east don’t generally have that problem and are closer to Corfu Town too (the airport is more or less there) so it means nice, short transfers too. I would recommend it though. The Greeks tend to really go out of their way to make you feel welcome. If you get a package they should be able to tell you what the hotel is like in terms of accessibility. Sometimes it’s better to just contact the hotel directly though. The accommodation has come on loads but can still be a little basic compared to Spain, Portugal. When I first started going air con was pretty unusual

A thread on SMB - “How smart are crows” What are they planning

Odysseus is one of the most famous, brilliant characters in an ancient and, still to this day, epic story. Trust that narcissistic prick thinking it's another garland for himself by putting it on his, almost certainly, entitled little cunt who'll probably be just like daddy and granda.

Even those which say ASM is on his way?

‘Keen to be thought of as something he’s not’ should go on his gravestone. The sooner the better

Another entitled cunt to add to the pile.

I mean you could just stop acting like a protestant 😂 Gemmill after someone slags him back 😂

Whereas your "wit" will never get tiresome or repetitive 😉👍