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poaching Chelsea’s talented young prospect by offering him champions league football. inject me with this

I'm bookmarking this for whenever someone questions me in the future.

“These bombs are mint…btw lads where is this place? Have you been testing the bombs on the town? See I know it’s a town owing to the lack of cathedral…”

Not going to draw too fine a line under it but "exploited inscriptions" is precisely the sort of term an AI would come out with ...

Hopefully Chelsea have sold Hall to fund a move for Wataru Endō.

I'm sure you were less surprised after your first bite?

Your flight back

Push pineapple shake the tree

Set the standard pretty consistently for years for talk shows- his interviews with Billy Connolly and Ali were stand-outs, and Meg Ryan for the opposite reasons They’ve started a GoFundMe to build a statue in his hometown. Raised £2:50 so far, which is fantastic for t’Yorkshire.

This is how Gemmill watches matches nowadays.

The stadium itself hasn’t changed much, other than having the foul stench of Ashley removed, but the Gallowgate area around it is very different to what it was in 2003. If you like a bit of beer, Ouseburn has the same old stalwarts and a few new bars/taprooms too. The Fish Quay is a bit better served with eateries and drinkeries than it was too. I’d have recommended Riley’s Fish Shack on the beach at King Edwards Bay but I don’t know if it’s open in winter? There’s a place at the Tynemouth end of Longsands which probably wasn’t there either, The View, but I’ve no idea if it’s any good? The city centre is as it was, but there’s loads of new places to eat and drink- The Grainger Market is a great place to go for a lunch if your in during the day. There’s an Outdoor Sofa in Boldon too, which is on the list of Worlds Most Minging Places, worth avoiding.

Inconceivable that he wouldn't know where Sunderland is since he personally masterminded the purchase of Jordan Henderson specifically to undermine the global attention the mackems were getting in their ongoing protest against his ownership of Newcastle. They were this close to bringing his entire regime to its knees, spearheaded by the relentless and cutting insights of Exile and his legion of 2 legitimate twitter followers (His mum and an alt he made for his hamster)!

The Lewis Hall talk reminds me of going to the match on the metro in the Championship/Hughton days. This young kid was talking to his mates and saying that Fitz Hall’s nickname was ‘His shoe’ because his shoe fits all (Fitz Hall)’. And this older fella turned around to him and said ‘It’s one size, ya divvy’.

His defence as well. It was so good it didn't go to trial.

To be fair, I used to constantly say total shite about NUFC and football in general to a mackem I used to work with because he always used to bite and take it seriously. So, there could be more like me

Trans fetish

Took him good and proper

It seems to me a very good advance, although I think they should give options for older people who do not know how to use their mobile phones or people who do not accept paying online. (I don't know if there are. They didn't give them to me). It was the first time I had entered a restaurant that worked like this. In Spain they did not exist (now I suppose there will be one). It was 4 years ago. After looking at the menu of dishes with my cousin for a while, he discovered the Wetherspoon logo at the bottom of the menu and out of curiosity, he Googled the name of the Wetherspoon app. If he didn't get to do that, he was still sitting there waiting for my burger. PS I was surprised that once we placed the order, the food arrived in less than 2 minutes. PS2: I'm remembering that I paid and my cousin still owes me half hahaha.

It would be absolutely tremendous if he visited BAE in Sunlun to check out latest weaponry but didn't stop off at NUFC

Sneak Attack 99

I'm sure there will be a few outgoings from our squad over the next week or so. We do seem to be overloaded with keepers and midfielders. Given we've got Burn, Schar, Botman and Lascelles (and Dummett if needed) at CB I think we will be ok. If a CB does come in then that has to be a 10/10 window. We've got good cover in Midfield, up front 2 to rotate. Probably need to look at nurturing some youth striker for the future. Great depth, really intelligent, forward thinking by the club. Our acquisitions on and off the field are off the scale compared to what we've been used to.

If this comes off we will have 7 players in the first team squad that grew up NUFC fans Hall Burn Murphy Longstaff Dummet Anderson Miley

So was Greenwood for 2 days after breaking his bail conditions iirc The whole thing is a minefield tbh. Mendy, Greenwood, Ched Evans, David Goodwillie, the Arsenal midfielder, Sigurddson. Bramble and Dyer had their own brushes with the law in the not too distant past. All similar types of allegations. Some have been charged and then found not guilty, some have ended up in jail, some have had convictions overturned, some have been released without charge. Where's the line in the sand for who gets to carry on playing football and who doesn't? Personally speaking, if Greenwood played for us, with the video evidence available I wouldn't want him anywhere near the club.

The pout looks about right.

I'm not one to make judgements on pubs based solely on their names, but Bar Loco is a seriously shite name for a pub. Actually the first part of that is a bit of lie. I jumped in a taxi recently and said "the Empire Bar please" and few minutes later the driver casually tried to strike up conversation with "is that a Rangers or a Celtic pub?". Cunt then doubled down when I said "I've never been in but the gambler in me would bet the regulars aren't Irish Republicans" with "what makes you say that?".

That’s him. It took me about 5 minutes to work out what the fuck ‘the Croin’ was though

Was it wyki’s builder who told you that?

If they turn out as expected then they could be our fullbacks for the next decade.

It's a pity the pitches aren't muddy anymore in football, (just thinking of the women's world cup, really).

There was an incident in the 80s when a Newcastle fan was killed in fighting with Wigan RL fans when their big cup final was held at Wembley and we were playing in London. Hardly a word was said in the press and I always thought the reaction if it had been a Wigan fan who'd died in the context of football violence hysteria at the time would have been apocalyptic. My disdain for the actual sport has always been enhanced by their moral high horse about "we're not like football fans".

I think there's every chance he nodded off after 30 minutes, and needed to be kicked awake at full time

Their angle seems to be how do we justify bringing him back in, rather than weighing up the right thing to do. Basically they dont want to lose their asset.

All rugby is shite mate, let’s not big up league like it isn’t only player on the m62 corridor

The only possible way that story could be true from his perspective is if 1) he’s incredibly naive and 2) they’re all winding him up. Although I would agree his being absolutely full of shite is the more likely scenario

🎵 I'm a bullshit merchant And my stories I must tell My mag mates have ditched England And they've ditched Scotland as well. 🎶

Why aye.

Professional Yorkshireman to an extent that Wykiki couldn’t hold a light to. The ferret fancier’s ferret fancier. Check out him, Connolly and trade union activist Jimmy Reid all sat there on his couch on some random Saturday night in the 70s, all three of the fuckers flirting heavily with Hollywood legend Lauren Bacall and all four of them fuckin loving it

"Well done marras - the fruits of your labour will take the furrrrrkin faces off them Houthis. Now, where around here do I go to catch my flight home?"

Drives through Pennywell… ” And they call us savages?”

Half-time keepie uppies on the pitch at SJP!

Diego has something called humility. Maybe bookmark the meaning of that 😉 Don’t be fooled into thinking our resident Spanish Toontastic correspondent doesn’t know his apples.

Doing him a disservice with 79 like.

The bloke should have given up when he came up with that shite about Paqueta getting his kids into local schools in Newcastle

Apparently Hall is a nufc fan via his Geordie dad. It’s on

Multiple reports now on the Hall deal being close to completion. It's been nearly 2 years now but I can still scarcely believe what this club has become. Unreal

Oh come to watch the Saudi The geordie boys will flock Cheer and praise for the prince Dressed in tea towels and a smock At half time out comes Fender To the stoning we'll attend Dance to Howdon Aldi Death Queue As they put to death our gay friend 🎶