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PaddockLad is obsessed with Brunos kid. A red flag right there to the new missus.

'so what did yi dee then, like?' 'ah flicked iz ear and sez, 'what yee ganna dee like, DAFT CUNT!' 'whadee dee?' 'fuck aahl! Went on a message board and moaned about it a few months Latah, the fucking ladgeful cunt!'

still, probably worth travelling to milan without a ticket, there's always a chance you'll bump in to boyd weddell in the piazza del duomo flogging a few on. the fucking corrupt cunt.

Go on, tell us how it works in rugby. WE KNOW YOU WANT TO!

Don't they just demote them to the Championship instead? "You got it wrong Dave." "Howard, please." "Dave, there's nothing I can do." "Howard, I've got a family!? Please Howard, don't-" "You're going to Sunderland, Dave."

To be fair, it sounds like this lass knows you.

I reckon he should dust himself down and roll his sleeves up 🙂

Dave, I would greatly appreciate it if you didn't improve on my puns in future.

You not a fan of a fluid double pivot seamlessly interchanging with the number six? Probably more of a low block man

Close, but I find the best approach is to take off your top, which makes them think “aye aye, we’ve got a Tyson here “ then take off your trousers, which makes them think “ Oh shit” No one wants a fight a crazy bloke in his kegs.

Beeb saying it happened on Monday and he’s “ awake and recovering well” Steve Harper: Newcastle United academy director and ex-goalkeeper recovering from stroke https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/66732868

“yi wouldn get tha’ at t’rugbeh ah says yi wouldn get tha’ at t’rugbeh”

I work in Boro one day a week. Looking out the window of our offices is like playing The Last of Us on a massive screen. Drunks, junkies, scraps in the street, all day long. There was one lass tried to take a "short cut" through a hedge. This thing is about 8 foot deep and runs parallel to a path which she could have just walked along, but she was so out of it she went through the hedge. Took her about 3 minutes to move 8 feet and she eventually faceplanted out of the end of it onto the kerb and had to be picked up by some (also drunk) passersby.

We know what must be done.

I'd let him take all the players kids on to the pitch on one of those model train things with carriages and that. bruno could be the driver with a cap and a whistle to blow. that would work I think.

gone to utter shit this thread mind. needs more baby talk.

The security guards are the size of oompah lumpahs and are shitin cunts. Happy to sort out "trouble" at Jesmond, fucking all get off at Walkergate before facing the charver corridor. Have I mentioned I don't like charvers?

I tried to get one going with the Metro a few years ago, but they bottled it due to copyright. Can’t wear the same gear as the original Guardian Angels, so I suggested using proper riot helmets instead of berets, and making it purple instead of red. I think what lost the argument was calling it The Purple Helmets.

I tell this story when anyone ever suggests to me that rugby isn't a middle class (at least) posh shit fest (and I know league is a bit different before Wykiki says owt). I used to play five a side with a lad who was also a good rugby player and he was good enough to play for Westoe who were/are the biggest club in Shields though I'm not sure how high they are in the scheme of things. Anyway he played for the third or fourth team and told me if he bumped into anyone in the first team even if it was in the bar he was expected to call them "Sir". Obviously he considered the pleasure he got from playing worth it but I told him it was abhorrent as far as I was concerned.

PL to Bruno’s kid

Going to Hellas v Bologna on the Monday night before we play Milan ☺️

I’d that’s Pope, the ref is being sent to the monitor. 100%

In Verona airport, after a 7 day break in Garda. Good holiday, although I can no longer afford the quality of hotel as I once did. Lake Garda is stunning. Below is a view from the table I ate at. Went to Venice, I've been before but man is it busy now. Getting briefly political, I've been going to this area for 15 years. It's clear as day to me how it has diverged from the grimey shit hole that is the UK. Northern Italy is full of developed infrastructure and more being built. Despite these being Italians, everything runs smoothly. It is obvious this part of the continent is getting richer whilst our island is in decline. And the reality is, many people who voted for the Brexit shit show and this criminal tory government will never travel here to witness the difference. And now dreams of living over here are closed to me. Rant over. Back to reality tomorrow.

This. We are so pathetic as a nation. We literally threw a hissy fit for not getting what we thought we wanted under Cameron, shit the bed, put our hands up our soiled butt crack and flung as much as we could at our friends (most landing in our face), and now are crawling on our hands and knees striking sectorised bespoke deals which are fucking shit compared with what we already had. And to achieve this we have wrecked our economy, thrown away our personal freedoms, our children's futures, and most of our well earned respect and soft power. And now, in typical English style, we wake up the next morning, do our best to shower off the shit, but bury our heads in the sand about what we did the previous night. It was always going to end like this. And nearly every fucker on this board minus the DFS manager knew it. And here we are.. Those with senses and brains that work can see all this for what it is. You get one life, and most get one country. June 2016 was the half way point in my life and we have let the most malevolent cunts in British political history take away our futures for their own gain. As a result the second half of my life, and, more importantly, that of my children's, is worsened. Good news about Horizon. But the reason it's good news is because of catastrophic news in the first place.

Wall to wall senior code for the next 6 weeks. Good to have a game that’s not just played in just 4 counties across the entire fuckin planet

There were about 6 of those so-called security lads at four lane ends a couple of months back. This was about 6pm on a week night btw. This lass on the platform was having a tab and she was saying to them “I’ll be finished in a minute”. They just looked at her and did absolutely fuck all. This other lad (not with the lass) probably in his mid-20s, who looked to be in his way home from work, turned to them and said “Here, what do yous actually do?”

Was thinking similar, after a few pints I'm like like Begbie, willing some wide, so-called, hard cunt to open their mooth.

Can’t have an accident on site if he can’t get out of his chair.

He hadn’t had a kid last season when I first mentioned he was a fuckin prancing show pony 😀

They seem to have missed a trick by not just calling it Jimmy’s Buffet

Joe Decayin soon

Mr. Tumble doing the sign language.

Jimmy Snuffit more like.

For Fucks sake

this takeover has turned me into a nerd - damn you successful club and the many podcasts and youtubers you inspire!

Ha ha, the queue for passport control man. Another fucking Brexit Bonus. YOU STUPID CUNTS.

I'm in Newcastle city centre twice a week for work. I literally avoid going in for lunch unless I have to. The beggars, homelessness, charvers, just feed my anxiety and depress me. Going home I take the posh route on the metro (your way) because the probability of being abused or spat upon is too high through Wallsend. I know we've discussed this before but it's fucking insane I have to voluntarily add 30 mins to my journey for this reason. It didn't have to be like this. But we chose the US way without even getting the benefits of that country.

I hardly ever go into the city centre now but did the other weekend. Whilst places like Grey Street remain beautiful I couldn’t help but think how much of the city centre is a shit hole now. Northumberland Street for example. It’s rough as fuck. Not even edgy or cool. Just a wasteland compared to how it was. Your point about the infrastructure too though. Possibly the worst legacy of the last 13 years or whatever of Tory rule is the complete lack of joined up thinking. The sheer incompetence and corruption of it all. Everything done on isolation for personal gain or to feed an ideology half of them don’t even believe in. I think it’s pretty much irreversible too. The media is so fixed against anything remotely in opposition to large corporations ripping nearly every fucker off

VAR official spent 20 seconds trying to convince himself It wasn't a penalty ffs

I think you've got MF's place mixed up with chateau @wykikitoon

Fair play. I'd rather live in Liege for a year than Luton

I had no idea that the metro was hiring security guards. Do any of you fancy starting a Guardian Angels like they had in the tube and the subway in New York. Obviously I'll be the gaffer cos I'm the hardest. We'll wear red berets and shiny red jackets like the original lads to ensure we command maximum respect.

I’ve seen plenty of young kids being cunts but nowt to that level tbf like. The whole fucking system is barely fit for purpose anymore though and those “security” lads that get on for two stops and jump right off are about as much use as a chocolate watch

Happy Wednesday, fuckers.

"Taxi queue'"

We've had a tough start, but he's the heartbeat of this team and he's a shadow of himself. I'm sure you'll have maps and graphs contradicting this but intuition isn't measurable. I know what I've watched without the need for graphics.

My point is the solution to his form isn't complicated. He needs to understand that he's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy. Once this is established again the nerds will have their stats to kid themselves something proper, proper scientific happened.

Get fucked, that's not me you tuber tasting twat