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The gemmill family conversation; Mr Gemmill Snr: "Hello son, spoke to one of your mates today. You've never told us about him? Seemed a decent enough lad? A bit strange at times but seemed alright?" Mrs Gemmill Snr: "Well I thought he was very nice, I don't know why you don't pop around his more often, he said he'd asked you before but you were always busy, busy alright, too busy on those internet chat room web thingys! You should get out a bit more, you're looking a bit pasty. Saying that, your friend looked a bit pasty too." Mr Gemmill Snr: "He looked as much pastie as pasty if you ask me?" Mrs Gemmill Snr: "hahaha, Eee what you like Bob?"

my dad didn't say there was anything weird about it tbf. He said they had "bumped into a couple and the bloke said 'I know who you are' or 'I know who your son is' or something like that." He said it was baltic and you were just in your toon top. He also said you were one of those people that is hard to put an age on, so I told him mid 60s.

Spoke to my dad who confirmed this interaction, you fucking weirdo.

The letters at the start of each paragraph 😂 Excellent trolling https://www.nufc.co.uk/matches/first-team/2023-24/sunderland-v-newcastle-united-fa-cup/

Sunderland Built Up Area Jack you mean?

I'd have gone with the Sunderland Metropolitan Borough myself

Lest we f0rg3t

Even better - they were leftovers from poppy day

... And invest it in in two £4m players. And then saw them in half and have four £2m player portions. Maybe plant them at an allotment. I think that's what Brighton do. "The model" is like a Russian Doll of ever increasing shitness.

One of my laddies scored two, set one up and got motm today in a 6-1 win. When we got home his grandad was there. When he told his grandad, he replied instantly with: “Who were you playing? The blind school?”

It all kicked off when the lad caught a fellow mackem trying to lift his half-time pocket cheese, that's fighting talk in those parts.

I think it’s disrespectful to say that it’s just luck that Liverpool are ahead here. A lot of it is down to Havertz too.

Wearside Jack disagrees.

We have an opportunity here to do something very, very funny.

YES @Christmas Tree GOOD DARTS SON

It was Keith and exile arguing about what Mag protest to do.

I’m disappointed it’s not xavier … Mr. xG.

Aye, people forget too that McCoist was a mackem for a year or two. So, out of three invitational places on their team yesterday, they had 2 full mackems and Waddle, who, if you cut him, would bleed blue panda pop. Magedia

Watched MOTD and they hammered Ballard They reckon he should have had a red for his foul on Isak and was woeful for both goals. Quite the contradiction to ex-Mackem McCoist's take

Ref fuckin bottled it, he knew the biggest game of the day would be over as a contest if he’d given a pen and a red at that point of the proceedings . TV influencing what happens on the pitch and not just reflecting it. Dont worry, its only been going on for 30+ years

this one from boldon seems to wind them up a bit, gets a couple of mentions....

I got home about half 10 ☺️ It took about 5 1/2 hours. Can’t really do it much quicker than that. The buses to and from the SoL were really well organised, got back into town just after four. As derbies go it was a bit tame, maybe the usual packs of howling red and white orcs that provide the welcoming party were scared off by the heavy police presence. Did spot this splendid looking chap though

Of course it was Tindalls idea

Free hit did you say? Ok, marra, I'll start.....

Is it a bloke? It's got nasty tits and when it's sidekick zooms in I was reminded of Little and Large.

This is spot on. They call us deluded, but the SMB is like a lunatic asylum. They genuinely don't get the gap in quality between the first and second tiers, which is at record levels Despite the fact that promoted teams increasingly struggle, and demoted teams usually bounce straight back up, with some notable exceptions (ahem SAFC). Despite the evidence from their own 3 eyes yesterday, the gulf in class was huge and obvious. Take this moron as an example. Yeah, their individual players should just choose to step up a level! I mean, I'm just going to choose to have a six pack, choose to perform anal sex on Margiot Robbie, and choose to inherit a billion quid. It's really that simple.

He’s been reported to Northumbria Police by multiple people, from various fan bases. NP are investigating. His account, unsurprisingly, full of homophobia, racism, antisemitism and transphobia. Also unsurprisingly, deleted his account-these cowards rarely have the courage of their convictions.

How could you think that’s a fucking win btw? The cretin even has a Twitter account with his real name. I don’t like the witch-hunts when people end up losing their jobs and stuff but that’s what often happens when you post something like that. What a thick-as-mince mackem cunt

They’ve had their eyes out here like That pic also shows that they let one of their kids design the wearside display- it’s comical. There are hundreds of free fonts they could’ve used, but no, 7yr-old freehand it is. £17k?

Mr and Mrs Bob Gemmill

Aye I’ve long found their obsession that their squad is all insanely young and will improve massively to be hilarious. Clarke is older than Gordon for example, and there’s a similar age difference between Tonali and Dan Neil, Botman is years younger than Ballard, Livramento and Isak are similar age to many of their lot, Miley is younger than Bellingham. Yes their average squad age is younger since we mix in experience like Wilson, Trippier, Pope etc but the mackems consistently ignore we have players all of a similar age and currently playing at the top end of the PL and in the CL. Just because they’re young and hanging around play off level doesn’t mean they’re going to kick on and make the step up, it’s an absurd assumption.

Well if you keep her out of my hair, I'll be very grateful. He did say you mentioned you had a 19 year old daughter, so I assume you were trying to sort out an arranged marriage or something.

I’m living proof of that

O’Nien was the only one who seemed to be playing with a Derby game mentality yesterday. Despite his histrionics (no better/worse than Bruno tbf) I thought he played ok. Interesting to hear comments about the ITV coverage and how desperate they were for an upset. Roy Keane apparently said Sunderland were a bigger club?

Fish and chips and a wank?

After Ballard, aye.

I despised every second of the match & felt relief when the whistle had gone but I’m enjoying the #content and fallout absolutely loads What a ridiculous club sunderland are

Desperate for an equaliser here. I fucking HATE Klopp.

Cartographed by Steve Marshall-Barnes

They're all related to each other down that way tbf.

Ballard was completely out of his depth & I’m not sure what further they needed to illustrate that point. He scored an own goal & conceded a penalty but he probably shouldn’t have been on the pitch to do so!

Think I pointed out recently that there’s only a handful (less than 5 iirc) Championship players that have moved for that sort of fee, excluding those from teams that have just been relegated from the PL. The idea teams would pay that for Clarke (never played in the top flight I think) or Ballard is completely delusional. They’d do well to get a combined fee of £20m. It was funny enough saying it before yesterday’s game. But afterwards? Clarke offered absolutely fuck all in an attacking sense whilst also giving Trippier the freedom to get forward at will. And despite their equally delusional / batshit crazy claims that Ballard had a good game he was shown to be out of his depth against top flight opposition. Funnily enough on the Match of the Day highlights they spoke a lot about how poor Ballard’s performance was.