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I think I'm going to end every sentence with "...& of course the Genocide" from now on. Love the way he drops it in there. "My favourite teams? Newcastle, Mainz, Norrköping, Stenhousemuir & of course the Genocide." "I'll have the lamb jalfrezi, pilau rice, garlic naan & of course the Genocide."

"This Exile 1968 character knows too much about our match fixing and is also a threat if he puts his football boots back on. Arrange either a car 'accident' with faulty breaks or get the lad who did Gazza's knee in Walkers to come out of retirement and finally put and end to Exile 1968's football career. We can't let this existential threat linger on for much longer."

Shady Tyneside Cabal Member: Will you do it? The Jackal: Yes. Shady Tyneside Cabal Member: How much? The Jackal: You must understand that this is a once-in-a-lifetime job, whoever kills Exile can never work again... Shady Tyneside Cabal Member: How much do you want? The Jackal: Half a million. Shady Tyneside Cabal Member: What? The Jackal: Half in advance, half on completion. Shady Tyneside Cabal Member: Half a million pounds? The Jackal: No, containers of cheesy chips and bottles of blue pop.

"Ye Gods, the man is out of control! We need to silence him quicker than originally anticipated. He's a dangerous, loose cannon who knows the real truth. Is the 'Jackal' still alive and taking on work?"

Thought it was another really good performance from Anderson. He seems more of a physical presence than last season and I’ve been impressed with his energy on top of the technical ability he’s previously shown. I think midfield is his best position

Well fuckin thanks then. I’m sat here in my pants trying to prevent yet another episode of “Gemmill prediction regret syndrome” and all I get is abuse

About 60 mins in I just thought this was a tactical masterclass. We went man on man ( a bit like Bielsa) and they didn’t know what to to do and couldn’t get any patterns of play started - especially from goal kicks. Credit to Big Dan. He has been absolute class last few games. Back to his best.

The same idiots will call themselves classy while constantly making up racist names for the club because of the owners. Exile has well and truly lost the plot mind . We have scored about 70 goals this season so far we don’t need to pay teams off we’re just very good going forward . You’d think someone that can play better through balls than a Brazilian international could appreciate the movement of Isak Gordon and Barnes.

Do you mean the Guggenheim in Bilbao marra? More proof of the relationship between the cities marra. Anyway, the moron Skylon has a new "insult" for us amongst his inane lies. Newcamel. I mean, if he's really clever he can call us "Poocamel". Chortle.

I notice that he gave a little nod to Serie A. Nice to see he acknowledges that we set up Juventus.

MYP

I like how he’s just invented these scenarios and then convinced himself it’s just a matter of time until it’s uncovered with massive ramifications. I suppose it’s a bit like convincing yourself you used to be as good at football as one of the best midfielders in the premier league.

I think he’s got the hump

@wykikitoon is this you and your mates this weekend? 😆

That's the thing, as long as CL football is mathematically possible, it should provide motivation. We have a decent run in, no European football, no domestic cup distraction, some players coming back to fitness too This season has been very good. I think Luke Edwards raised a good point. Has this season been as impressive as the others under Howe, when you consider all the injuries and suspensions, tough draws etc. 1st rescues us from odds on for the drop, to 11th. 2nd, transforms our style, gets us into CL, excellent defence, etc. 3rd, almost navigates out of the Group of Death, 2 domestic QFs despite unbelievable draws, potentially gets us into Europe, despite being unable to consistently name our best 11.

"Good holiday, exile?" "It was fantastic. The weather was lush, the vino was flowing and the tapas was to die for, the local hospitality was as amazing as ever and of course, who can forget the fabulous genocide?"

imagine (™ rtg) .... a 6 game winning end to the season, a tottenham implosion an awarding of a 5th champions league place. I'd hear exile's head explode from monmouth.

Just when think their childish puns can’t get any worse they prove you wrong

You’ve been sportswashed, marra. Next you’ll be trying to tell us the Guggenheim is better than the national glass centre was

I’ve always wondered which of the following they consider to be the classiest? 1- Glassing your chairman when he’s out for a meal with his wife. 2- Racially abusing your striker’s mother 3- Shitting all over your stadium and village. Maybe it’s a cumulative thing?

All thanks to Harry Kane

Merson trying to work out the remaining fixtures live on TV like he's talking to his mates in the pub. "They've got them haven't they? Haven't they gotta go to Spurs as weww?" It's your job to know this stuff man, you absolute fucking shambles.

Emery sinking Arsenal is beautiful. If I were him, I’d be wanking like a lighthouse keeper tonight

Get in !!! We’re catching Villa lads

God bless the poor cunt that has to interview him after the match. No doubt their credentials will be called out, and they’ll be called stupid or some variation of the word.

Trademark Longstaff performance then. His best performances are when you forget he’s on the pitch because he’s just doing the shit no one pays attention to but is vital to our midfield being successful.

I thought 'MagMoist' would have long been off their Christmas card list after the ex-SAFC player got us to be the team who played in his testimonial at Rangers? (Especially when his ex-team mate, Butcher, was managing his old club, the mighty MLFs at the time).

Looks like McCoist is off the Christmas card list.

As a teenager I naturally didn't like our nearest and dearest down the road but I loved Gary Bennett grabbing a hold of the dirty little cunt at Roker Park that's how much I couldn't stand him. He's lucky Cyrille Regis intervenes and protects him.

If we’re fixing games, why wouldn’t we just fix it so we win every week and finish top?

It’s attached to a cunt.

Like clockwork

Tough way to find out. Better luck next time.

Good, fucking disgraceful by those charlatans. It’s honestly hilarious that they’ve done all this to end up with a squad that’s probably worse than they started with.

If Sky had had the foresight, they could have billed this one Bottlejob Sunday.

Agree.

He’s the fucking man. Can’t wait to see him with a full deck, hopefully topped up with a bit more quality and a few more youth prospects on the cusp of a breakthrough.

Is there one of those camera views that focused only on Klopp? Id pay to see that for the last 15 minutes.

TITLE BLOWN! AND CARRAGHER HAD TO SIT THROUGH IT! Some of the goalline clearances, blocks and just sheer flukiness of Palace staying in this one. It couldn't be clearer to me that the universe hates Scousers.

As has been said, every time we beat one of the usual suspects it's because they have had a shite performance. I don't recall us being as shite when they beat us it's just a great match execution by whichever cunty club gets the better of us.

That Man Utd penalty was scarcely believable yesterday and it’s even worse now. Took them all of 10 seconds to give them it but they had to forensically make sure Bournemouth didn’t get one back Insane bias

Only if it's led right

They'd sing Jimmy Savile's name if he was getting them 10 goals a season. There'd also be way more dickheads turning up to the match dressed as sheikhs if they got bought out by the Saudis. Being too classy for owners that will never want them is all they've got left.

As well as all the clear benefits this win gives us re. League position, GD, confidence etc, let’s not forget how pissed off Andrew will be at having to start another match thread.