Leaderboard

“Mission accomplished agent Shearer, getting yet another chomp from a spreadsheet dude, return to base, this is Luddite red leader, over and out”

I see Mike Ashley has failed in his attempt to stop us having an exclusive kit deal with JD Sports. So sad.

Dele Ali on Sky - “it’s been a strange game, i don’t think it’s 4-0” Nah just checked, it is pal. Four goals to nil.

You know those ads are personalised based on your browsing history?

I heard he was allergic to the 5G that Bill Gates put in the “inoculation “. The more you know … … and, of course, the Genocide

All songs are made up

I’m enjoying MOTD 2 That Curtis Jones miss

He literally didn’t turn up to his first match in charge because he had a made up illness.

It's an old joke but I can't quite remember how the punchline ended? Either that or it's a scene from pornhub and I'm getting confused? 🤔

tl:dr. HMHM is shagging his cleaner and his wife isn't happy. 👍

I knew you'd appreciate it. He regularly scoffs at xG too. One from the "me kick ball, me talk about man who kick ball" school of punditry.

Every morning I announce that I am off jogging and then don't go It's a running joke.

Klopp doing his big fake grin and saying "Wow" when Palace waltz through and score. Should be on every single highlights of the season reel come May.

They’re fewmin Clarke isn’t in there, despite him having less impact than all the other forwards and finishing mid table.

Merson trying to work out the remaining fixtures live on TV like he's talking to his mates in the pub. "They've got them haven't they? Haven't they gotta go to Spurs as weww?" It's your job to know this stuff man, you absolute fucking shambles.

Pickford

I understand that Gloom, and agree that it's strange for a football messge board to be the place to talk about this, probably one reason why we all stepped back for a bit from this thread since last year. I dont intend on engaging on a long debate. I could also take offence to the 'but do you condemn Hamas?' rhetoric that gets thrown around evertime Israeli bruatilites are mentioned. I condemn Hamas' actions on October 7. I also condemn 9/11 and 7/7 FYI. One single innocent life lost anywhere to indiscriminate attacks is unacceptable. I do however, also differentiate between a terror group led attacks killing 1400 people and an international state with an advanced military armed and funded backed by the US wiping out a whole cities and slaughtering 30,000 people (likely starving hundreds of thousands more), having occupied, blockaded and denied those people basic rights for over 70 years. Do you know how many hostages Israel has taken and currently holds? Do you know how many people they've killed in the West Bank (no 'but Hamas' here right?) and how much more land has been stolen there? I also will not accept that calling that out or criticizing Israel's actions is automatically anti-semitimism. I do accept that anti-semtimism does rise in times like these. There are unfortunately many ignorant idiots everywhere. But Israel's officials have tried to hide behind the anti-semitimism and 'but Hamas' shield for far too long now. I'm honestly not nodding to the conspiracy theories above. I struggle to comprehend just how utterly unable to critize Israel's actions the US and UK are, even when they murder their own citiziens in cold blood. Ok so you say because of the support for the jewish homeland after the holocaust. Till when does this carte blanche last? Till they've taken all the land, then maybe Lebanon? Till a 100,000 die, 500,000, a million? Will it be ok for the US to then say Israel needs to be reigned in? On a personal note Gloomy, for what it's worth I genuinely believe most people don't hate Israel for the hell of it or because they're anti-semitic. You can't just ignore decades of actions and pin it all down to that. It's what Israel has done for decades and continues to do so. For me at the very least, I hope you know that. These past few months in the US I've seen public opinion swing against Israel like never before. Even from people that were firmly 'two-sides' or 'Israel has a right to exist'. It's becoming harder and harder to justify it's actions based on those sentiments. I fear for what Netanyahu and his government are leading their people to.

I hit send there Aimaad and almost instantly regretted it. I’ve tried to avoid posting too much in this thread because it is so divisive and emotive and because I still see it through my family’s eyes. Life in Gaza is hell right now and I’m not here to argue otherwise but little is made anymore of the fact that rockets continue to fall on Israel every day from Hamas and other militant groups. I know this because my family still cower in bomb shelters An anonymous football message is a strange platform to choose to get into it but I have to stay away from this story on Twitter. The antisemitism is too much for me, and I find the hate, and pile-ons too distressing. Like a lot of Jewish people I’m reluctant to make the case for Israel or Israelis to my friends either because, just like on this platform, I feel massively in the minority - you feel like a bad guy for trying to tell the other side of the story. Our leaders support Israel but a lot of progressive people who I agree with on most matters really fucking hate Israel and everything it stands for. It makes me wonder whether that would change if Israel ever elect a progressive leader again who wanted peace.

That easy, local girl is hopefully just down the road, what a break seeing that information.

not the classic by legendary greek crooner demis roussos surely? I hope not, I might have to start liking them!

There must be 100s of millions of pounds worth of talent in that side. Given all the players worth in excess of £20m that couldn’t even make the XI

Do they do anything you can break wind dance to?

All thanks to Harry Kane

Like a Jedi, but with pedantry.

Emery sinking Arsenal is beautiful. If I were him, I’d be wanking like a lighthouse keeper tonight

I know they both play in red but c’mon Granda, ffs get it together.

definitely. We’ve missed a player with physicality in midfield since big Joe’s injury and Anderson provided it yesterday. His pressing and strength was impressive

Palace have 33 points now, so I'm not sure how accurate that prediction table is

Does this mean that they now need to set up an Academy for the women's team as well? If it does, that will be great for the young lasses from the area who have potential and want to pursue that as a potential career.

Trademark Longstaff performance then. His best performances are when you forget he’s on the pitch because he’s just doing the shit no one pays attention to but is vital to our midfield being successful.

I like how he’s just invented these scenarios and then convinced himself it’s just a matter of time until it’s uncovered with massive ramifications. I suppose it’s a bit like convincing yourself you used to be as good at football as one of the best midfielders in the premier league.