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"Why don't we have threads dissing U12 girls teams winning the league against boys, Reg?" "Because why would we? We're a football board having a laugh, taking the piss, talking about football. Leave it to RTG for that shite " "Don't oppress me! It's my right as a man to discuss U12 girls teams!" "I'm not oppressing you, but you're not an MLF?" "I want to be one." "What?!" "I want to be an MLF and talk shite about U12 girls teams." "But why? You're a Mag on a NUFC forum, we don't do that shite?" "Why don't we agree that CT, as a man from boldon, has the right to talk shite about U12 girls especially as he's dangerously close to Sunderland even though he's a Mag on a NUFC forum." "But what's the point?" "I want to invest in crypto currency as well!"

Orkward situation

Was having a fairly shit morning, logged in here, read this and had my first proper laugh of the day. Cheers mate

I think when he first lay down he was 100% confident he could do the worm.

"Country roads, take me home" presumably a reference to the Home Counties destinations of most of the departing ManU fans

Well, yes, I don’t think he’s imagining a career where playing for a mid-table Championship team is considering his peak

I just do not understand that. What is the entertainment value there? I really don't like/understand when people put people with a high level of needs on a stage to make a fool out of themselves but this is not even that. Those two probably have no level of needs, don't look drunk but still willing to make themselves look like that. Why? Why would anyone want to watch two people who can't dance do that? Why would you put yourself on a floor of a pub, especially if you can't even do 'the worm'? I know that there are always a mixture of people in each area (The Hoppings is always an eye-opening experience) but Sunderland seems to have such a massively different demographic to Newcastle/ Northumberland etc.

"I'm truly sorry father, I have no more tears to weep."

That is, essentially, the sole purpose of this entire place tbf. If its not cars its guitars or films or (god forbid) football

Mood

Fwiends.

I'll take care of this lads

Mind, there's this too

It's almost impossible not to wish awful things on to Sunak.

I’m guessing he starts a lot given the lack of alternatives. When he doesn’t have a blinder he seems to get a load of stick without any constructive suggestions as to who should be playing ahead of him. When you look at his age and the fee he’s probably going to be a good bit of business. Considering all the talented players they have that are worth £20m+ who are 6/7/8 years older then maybe he isn’t the sole problem.

Irony is that if that was the limit of his ambition, he'd 'not be good enough' for the Man City of Mordor.

Is this “he has to play in every game” an actual confirmed agreement in his contract or are they shockingly imagining this as well?

Wright and whoever the lass pundit is sitting laughing at Keane.

Tbf, all the other punters in that pub are just as weird for choosing to go there

[Last week] "Do you fancy doing Everton v Forest, Gary?" "You are joking, aren't you?" [Today] "....and it's over to our match day commentators at Goodison Park, Bill Leslie and Andy Hinchcliffe."

Maybe about a third of them were commonplace when I was a kid just over the border. Not the specific pit related terms but lots of the general ones. It’s all basically extremely old Anglo Saxon. The land between the Forth and the Tees was never significantly settled by the Norse or the Danes. The language very largely remained what came out of Middle English which itself developed from old English. The everyday language of the people of this area was until the mid 20th century pretty much un corrupted near Middle English…Dan Jackson again here….

ewerk compensating for his hair horseshoe.

I didn't hear it much growing up but I remember my Mam using it occasionally. We used to drink in the old Black and White pub for a spell, probably in the late 80s and I rember overhearing the owner describing some bother there'd been when we weren't in - he said it kicked off when someone ordered a round and ended the order with "marra" and one of the regulars had shouted "Mackem" and chinned him. I think now it's a good piss take considering how much they use it on RTG. I also agree with HMHM about haway/howay - I think that's a manufactured wedge thing.

Was Alan Smith on co-comms? Was happy to see City win today, makes Europe (and chances of keeping Bruno) easier

"Absolutely appalling. We have an 18 year old kid who is using the club as nothing more than a career development choice as a stepping stone" https://www.readytogo.net/smb/threads/jobe-bellingham-bigger-than-the-club.1632013/ 😂

Rents imagination as he's about to go out for a drive in his new, top of the range car..... "Stick it in my arse, rents babe, I love your new, top of the range car and it's making me horny for you."

Arafat.

Marrowfat 🤝 Marra fat

Top of the range Audi A3, black edition. Tinted glass, black logos, sporty. I joked to the dealer it was a drug dealer car. Then I remembered he was black. He laughed, I am officially David Brent.

fucking munich cunts.

The offside rule is one of several fucking abortion in the game today. it’s about entertainment and goals not the length of someone’s fucking fingernails, should be “daylight” or it’s onside

Cant help himself can he. Nobody does arrogance like the Dutch.

Penalty to Coventry. Sky Blues, shooting to win! Carnage in Wearside.

Ashley Young's mam doing VAR today, I think.

Clearly hand to ball as well. And clearly to deflect a decent cross out for a corner. Just unreal. Take VAR out of the game and I fully accept that Atwell might miss that and think it's just hit his arm. And fine, no penalty if you only get one go at it. But VAR only has to watch that replay once to see that Young moves his arm to the ball. And that's clear and obvious. You just can't fathom or explain how they keep doing this stuff.

I like the term pitmatic. never worked down the mines meself although I drank with loads of lads who worked at marley hill colliery just outside of sunniside. me old man worked down the pit but not for long, he fucking hated it, found it quite frightening, his dad worked down the mines all his working life, I never met him, he died before I was born of lung disease associated with pit work. I know my old man used to get really passed off with ambulance chasers hassling him to claim compensation on behalf of his dad's 'black lung disease'. anyway, some 'pitmatic', quite extensive, strange how much I recognise, but I'd imagine younger folk have never heard the majority uttered...... baff weekend - then fortnightly pays were the custom, the baff week was when there was no pay. bait - a packed meal. baitpoke - a bag to carry the meal in. bait time - a stop for a meal. bank - the surface. barney's bull - anything broken beyond repair was said to be like barney's bull b------d. bat - to strike a blow with the fi3t or a hammer. blogged up - a pipe stopped up with dirt. bonny gan on - serious trouble. bord - a working place in the pit. brat - a black inferior sort of coal. bray - to beat or punish. "you cannot bray him back with a mell" (large hammer) described a pushing inquisitive person. bump the set - anyone taking unnecessary risks was described as "he'll bump the set some of these times". a set is a number of tubs or trucks pulled along by a rope from a fixed engine. canch - the stone below the thill or floor of a narrow coal seam that has to be removed as coal-getting proceeds. cankery water - impure, poisonous water, red in colour. cant - anything leaning over is said to be "on the cant". carvinarce - a smooth backed fossil easily dislodged. catheid - a nodule of iron ore found in coal seams. cavil - a working place in the mine selected by a draw. cavilling-day - the day the draw takes place. chinglees - pieces of coal the size of a marble. clacks - pump valves. clag - to stick. clarts - mud. cogley - unsteady. coin - to turn from the straight. corve - a wicker basket used in coal mines prior to the tub era. cow - a device attached to the back of a set of tubs to prevent them running back if the rope breaks. crab - a winch used in sinking operations. dab-hand - a capable or efficient worker. dad - to hit as, "i'll dad the lug". daddin - to beat the dirt out of pit clothes. deputy - an underground official. deputy's-end - the easy or lightest part of the work. deputy's kist - the box in which he keeps his tools. devil - a device for detatching the rope from a set of tubs whilst in motion. dogs - nails for fastening down tram rails. dollyshutting - blasting down coal without undercutting. dreg - a wood or iron stave put between the spokes of a tub wheel to prevent it from turning thereby retarding its progress. duds - clothes. dunched - to run into with force as "tubs dunching". ettle - to arrange beforehand. nb# fairly - steady. fash - trouble. fast jenkin : a bordway driven in the middle of a pillar. femmer - weak or delicate. fernenst - opposite to. fettle - to repair or mend. fizzle - a faint crackling noise caused by gas escaping from the strata. fizzled out - the end. flacker - to flinch or turn back. flackered - finished, unable to do any more. flayed - frightened. flusher - a squip that fails to do its work. forbye - besides. for-fairs - no trickery or underhand work. fullick - a blow with great force. fullen - full tub. gar - to make or force anyone to do something. get-thi-blaw - to rest, to regain the breath. gis-a-low - give me a light. glinters - curved sails to guide a rope on to a sheeve. graithe - to make ready or repair. grove - a space in a seam from which coal has been taken. hacky - dirty or filthy. hedgehog - if a strand of a wire rope works loose and gets fast, it coils in a mass of wire on the rope. this is a hedgehog on the rope. hinny - a term of endearment. hitch - a fault in the strata. hoggers - shorts miners wear in the pit. howk - to dig or scoup out, or punish. hoy - to throw. hunkers - the buttocks. a favourite posture of pitmen is sitting on their hunkers. inbye - to go from the shaft bottom into the workings insence - to make someone understand - "insence it into him". jealoused - anticipated, something would happen. joley - shakey, unsteady. jowl - to test the roof in a coal seam by tapping it with the end of a stick, also a threat as "al jowl tha". keeker : surface foreman who deals with the coal. kenner - the end of the shift. kep - to catch. kep-clack - the foot valve in a pump suction pipe. keps - props on which the cage rests at bank while the tubs are being changed. ket - filth or rubbish. kibble - a large iron bucket used in sinking operations, also a small low tub with open end. kink - a twist in a coil of rope that would damage it if pulled tight. kip - the highest point on the rollyway where the tubs are detatched. laid outs - if a tub of coal contains more than a certain amount of stone it is confiscated, the stones and the hewer's token numbers are laid out for inspection. limmers - wood shafts with an iron bow and a catdh to clip on to a coal tub carried on the harness of a pit pony. marra - when two men work together each calls the other his marra, meaning equal. mell - a large wood or iron hammer. met - a measurement marked on a stick. midgey - open fronted naked flame lantern. mizzled-off - gone away. nigh-hand-gannen - a shorter way. onsetter - the man in charge of the cage at the shaft bottom. outbye - travelling from the face to the shaft. plote - pluck or bring down. plunger - the piston in the water end of a pump. powder-reek - smoke caused by firing a short in the pit. progley - prickly. rammel - stone that gets mixed with the coal in the pit. rid - to clear out or tidy up a place. rising main - the pump delivery pipes in a shaft. rive - to tear. rolleyway - engine plane. roven - torn. scapipen - getting coal without blasting. scrush - crush. scumfish - to suffocate. shine a low - shine a light. skeets - guides for the cages in a pit shaft. slush hewer - a hard working coal hewer. smart-money - compensation. snore holes - holes in the strainer that make a snoring noise when the sump is drained. spangued out - a prop forced out by pressure. spelk : a splinter of wood that has stuck into the skin, also a small person. spigot and faucet - a type of pipe joint. spiting - storing up loose stone after a place has closed to make a way through. sprag - a wood or iron stave put between the spokes of a pit tub wheel to retard its progress. stowbord - an old working place into which refuse is put. strum - the strainer on the end of a pump suction pipe. stub and feathers - the stub is a wedge driven in between two tapered wedges in a bore hole to break down stone. stythe - bad air. sump - at the bottom of the shaft, a standage for water. swapes - tub rails bent to go round a turn. swalley - a dip or hollow on a roadway. tageing - a hard fatiguing time or job. tarry towt - a tarry rope. tewed - fatigued as "it's been a tewing job". tokens : pitmen's tallies. tommy hack - a combined hammer and chisel ended pick used by rolleywaymen. tuemmen : empty tub. usually pronounced chummum. varney - very near. viewer - obsolete term for an underground official. wedger : anything large or outsize. weeken - lamp wick. whimsey - a turntable from which a rope is uncoiled. yard-wand - deputy' s stick measuring one yard. yebbel - able

Also thought most of the replies to this pretty innocuous thread https://www.readytogo.net/smb/threads/invincibles-under-12-girls-team-goes-unbeaten-to-win-boys-league.1632006/ summed the place up. They’re an odd fucking bunch on there

Im not into cars. When I worked for a massive house builder in London I got a company car. Brand new, like 0 miles, Mazda 6 just after they released. I left because fuck London. Moved to Manchester, bought a cheap Kia and ran it into the ground. Couple of years ago, cos I was up and down to boro more to help with my brother and doing loads of motorway miles. I bought an Audi Q5 S-Line (old shape). Took my time, researched the dealer, the car and it had a full Audi service history. Brought it home, week after it need a new gearbox. Which being automatic cost me £3k. Cars are fucking scam, insurance went up by 35% this year with no changes.

Saw a local council worker deliberately stamp on a slug this morning! I said what did you do that for? He said “it’s been following me around for 3 weeks!

Tbf, you have to look the part when you’re cruising round the Whitley Bay one-way system with the stereo cranked up

I say this every time I get a Whitley delivery run. If anyone is wondering why it’s impossible to get hold of a plumber, it’s because every fucking one of them is working in Whitley fucking Bay installing bathrooms for cunts. I delivered a bathroom set yesterday to some mid-30s couple. The lad opened the boxes to check for damages, and came upon what looked like a lampshade made of bottle green glass. “ What’s this?” he says to Mrs. “ The sink” He looked at me, and we had one of those silent conversation with eyebrows Him- “ Ffs!” Me - “ You let her pick without looking at it didn’t you?” Him- “Aye… baaaastard!” Me - “ Curb your enthusiasm gif”

It’s when Panda announced they were releasing a new size bottle of Blue pop.