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I just use our nick name, Poocamel.

He’ll double up as conditioning coach

Imagine calling someone a whopper on the internet and paying for twitter at the same time

It's not difficult IMO Well, especially IMO

My current “drive it to work, drive it back” is one of these French pieces of shite. It does 0-50 in about half an hour, the Frogs couldn’t be arsed doing a proper right-hand drive conversion so the passenger side windscreen clears first in cold weather, then about a week later the drivers side follows suite. It does have a spin cycle and low temp wash cycle, though. It’s that basic that there’s not really much to go wrong.

Wor lass came home tonight. 'have you heard of the overlap? Gary Neville does an interview with Gordon. It's superb. He's so cute' Wtt!!!!

They reckon this Mitchell's mentor was the legendary Irish coach, Tim O'Tei.

He's all dressed up with nohair to go

Are you alright in the head?

HMHM is just the Geordie version of this:

That’s debatable…a Berlingo has windows all the way round and seats front and back. It could however be adapted quickly and simply into a vital transport link for an amount of two “live” beehives at a time every August; to take them from their usual valley location up to the high hills where they feasted on the heather blossom of late summer producing beautifully pungent heather honey 😊

Are we tekkin t'Berlingurrrrr?

A Berlingo is a van, mate.

https://old.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/1caloi6/hi_reddit_im_rio_ferdinand_former_england_and/ Dont think this has quite gone how Rios PR people hoped

Mrs B and me are so uninterested in cars that after years of driving shitbox Renault's with hilarious electrical issues we recently decided "fuck it, enough is enough" and ordered a Dacia, Renault's budget "sister" brand. Looking forward to many more years of "when did the wipers stop working?" "Front wipers are fine but only work when the windshield fan is off and the child lock is on. Rear wiper is temperamental but usially springs to life after you indicate left a few times"

Has this on my “to read” list for a while, but I keep putting it off…

Didn't take long

Do you know that the Too-wit / too-woo call is that of the tawny owl. I occasionally hear them and (very rarely) see them out the back of mine. But the former is actually a male call and the latter is a female’s response. Anyway there were these two blokes in a village in Devon several years back that started making the calls (using a bird whistle or something). But, unbeknown to them, they were calling to each other, not another owl. It went on for ages and it was only due to a random conversation between the two fella’s wives that they discovered the truth.

Listen chum, you started this…

I bet she fucking HATES cyclists.

"My ambition is to be at the very top of football, and I couldn't do that where I was." Gonna go down like a shit sarnie with Everton fans.

Is it? I thought the plan was to crack down more on criminal smugglers, processcalims much faster so the asylum status can be established, and work with thrid countries such as France to establish ways asylum seekers can make claims without risking the cross channel dinghy route. But if you're suggesting they are somehow going to deport asylum seekers without fair assessment, then please provide a reputable link.

Glad you liked it, Andrew.

combined with about 15 active ones …on a busy day

I’m not 100% convinced by this Mitchell bloke’s credentials tbh. I think before I say yay or nay I’ll have to mullet over.

Toonpack clicking into the middle of a pun run is like a kid running into Santa's grotto.

Wonder if match cam will have extended highlights an all

I’ve heard that he’ll cost more than Ashworth, but if we want success that’s just the price toupé.

My old man had a Beige Allegro, quite possibly the shittest car ever made. As if that’s not bad enough, when the first one fell to bits, he got another In the above photo it isn’t cornering, that’s just how shit the suspension ( amongst numerous other things) was.

Yeah, know what you mean. When I'm at the match nowadays, I have to shout "Come on UNITED! I mean Newcastle United, formed from the merger of Newcastle East end and and Newcastle Westend clubs in 1892, not the the club from Newton Heath who erroneously only became Manchester United in 1902". Just doesn't have the same ring to it, the manc cunts.

I’m disappointed it’s not a B reg

A Berlingo is most definitely not an MPV

I dunno, I've always been into cars to an extent, though I mostly keep that to myself, never been entirely willing to get into it as a money pit of a hobby though. Got enough of those already. Renault Clio - typical first car, one of the suspension springs shattered into bits going over a speed bump once and all of its electrics failed Kia Picanto - Slow as balls but reliably ate up miles when I had a long commute Abarth 500 - Favourite car I ever owned, fucking brilliant, quite want to get another one Peugeot 308 GT - Dash was shit, no physical buttons but a slow as fuck operating system/touch screen Honda Fit - Moved to New Zealand, needed a car, wife drives this now Nissan Fuga - Never even heard of these before moving out here, its big, its fast, it makes a great noise and since its an import theres a Japanese woman in the dash who yells at me occasionally. Brilliant.

@anthonygordon tell him and carragher to fuck off, son.

How good a source is that Geordie Dentist/Mitch character? 🤔 He replied to a tweet earlier that we’ve spoken to Maldini twice about becoming our DoF…. although he seems to have deleted it now…have subsequently spent most of the afternoon fantasising about us announcing the appointment the same week as Ashworth appoints Southgate as ETH’s replacement… then Paolo making Federico Chiesa his first signing…good olive oii drizzled on warm Focaccia with a large glass of Primitivo..fava beans and a nice Chianti etc etc…

He’s worth it.

Of course he can, and will. The policy is inhumane, ruinously expensive, will have zero efficacy, and is just totally batshit.

Aye. Got loads of lads in their forties taking about their motors at work. I couldn’t give a toss to be honest. The way the mrs drives (and generally looks after it) there would be no point in getting anything nice anyway.

Get them telt Howmanscargillheyman

5. When challenged “Let’s take this offline”

I think you have miss understood why visiting fans are called "members" 😂