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BBC reporting that pretty much all of the current Man U squad are up for sale bar Hojlund, Mainoo and the Gaspacho lad that looks like a medieval peasant. Wonder what that will do for team morale in the run in... Maybe they are raising cash to pay for Ashworth

Durham's child 🎵 Athle-tic Bilbao, We formed them The Blay-don races We made it Football documentaries We rocked it 'Cause we depend on fantasy If I wanted the striker that you bought We'd buy him The staydeyum we play in We wreck it The coach we brought in We sacked him We depend on fantasy (I depend on fantasy) All the marras, fucking spannas Throw your hands up at me All the hard cunts sparking Magpies Throw your hands up at me All the amnesty who never heard of me Throw your hands up at me All the Sunlin who truly feel me Throw your hands up at me Marra I didn't know you could make shit up like that Marco, how your marras make stuff up like that Marra I didn't know you could make shit up like that Marco, how your marras make stuff up like that.... 🎶

You make some good points here, but I’m curious- should we deduct or add said points?

An interesting fact about Gazpacho is that he is only the SECOND player in PL history to ever score an overhead goal. The first was Rooney also playing for Manchester United as well. No other player at any other club has ever done this in the PL and when they have sky will conveniently forget about it and not show it ever again apart from the week where they allegedly scored it.

Flew to the County Durham Races from Ponteland Airport, marra

Not saying an England cap is worth less nowadays but he's got 36 (!) of them

Sting and Stephen Fry have told that Garrick Club that if they don't start admitting women, they'll both quit. Presumably, in all the time they've been going, they must just have thought women didn't like the look of the place.

The County Durham thing again! What fucking convoluted point are they making now? It’s a Tyneside folk song in which all of the people and events in it take place on Tyneside. The whole of my life and for a long time before it’s been associated with NUFC (and no other football club, bar altered versions). The only County Durham things to do with the song are the bloke who wrote it being from Gateshead (which used to be in that county) and the destination of Blaydon (ditto). But both of those places are overwhelmingly black and white anyway. Do they not think it’s significant that they’re travelling from and through Newcastle (as opposed to say, for example, Sunderland)? They are absolutely tapped, man

This lot are fucking desperate to get relegated. Their fans need to let some miidnight fireworks off outside Companies House.

It’ll more likely be something else, Thompers.

When you find a stream of Bayern v R Madrid that doesn't feature McManaman, Fletcher, Michael Owen, Owen Hargreaves and Hoddle....

I know Alex. Alex. I expected better from you. I'm not angry with you, just, just disappointed.

So on the day there's news we might be expanding SJP, safc have to release their own plans as well? Tut, tut....

Bet you didn't know Ferry across the Mersey is really a County Durham classic? Original went "Ferry, across the shit stream" Same as Sweet Home Alabama, which was originally Sweet Home Pelaw Marra.

It’s also the classic mackem cycle of make something up, start believing it and then get annoyed about it

When he says race meeting, he's talking about the KKK. Very different song.

It seems The Blaydon Races is now a County Durham song, and we’ll soon have to hand it over to the Orcs, as we pinched it apparently…Collingwood Street, Balmbras, Armstrongs Factory, The Robin Adair were and are still in Durham, how stupid of us all …they really are a bunch of gimps. So that’s our history altered now along with Bilbao’s and Feyenoord’s.

What he looks like is when they find the bones of someone medieval, and do a facial reconstruction of them on a history programme.

FYP

It's should be somewhat surprising that as the 'chartered' accountant between us you're the one who doesn't understand basic finance. However, it is entirely predictable.

Put aside whether he's a good fit for our side (spoiler alert: he isn't) then he's on at least £300k per week. It's a non-starter.

FUCK ME!!! That's where he's from! Plebs!

That’s a parody account taking the piss out of the group with the same name, which was definitely not a copy of Wor Flags. Which then folded

Just never stop, marras.

I'd add a few hours on for PL trying to tell her how Scottish he is.

@PaddockLadwill like this

No takers on Silas? You lot will have been too busy writing to Jimmy Savile, I expect. Dear Jimmy. Please can you fix it for me to spend the day inside your tracky b's.

We have our very own … “To be fair, when I spoke to Sandra, she said she was making mince and dumplings for tea, which, to be fair, is me favourite “.

Any points I make are always additive.

Could the accountants finally redeem our accountant.

Bollocks. This is one of you lot back from a fortnight in Benidorm.

I fully expect to see Tony Robinson and that bloke with the rainbow jumper and the scruffy cider drinking cunt at the next Man Yoo home match 'ooo lets do some Geophys in the dressing room around his seat'

'We will just repeat without any verification'

I googled him to remind if he really does look like a medieval peasant. I think he looks more like a bowl of soup personally.

I see the government are still steadfastly refusing to reveal Cameron’s financial / business interests. This is where the ministerial code isn’t fit for purpose. If you’re just obliged to do it by something like that, as opposed to a statutory requirement, then a government like this will just ignore it.

....and of course the genocide.

Na given rashfords form this season they still need to pay the £20m. Fair is fair.

Does he hate him? He hates everyone man.

You and Wykiki have really fallen out.

Ffs let clubs do what they want and go bust if they fuck up.

I don't have a fanny and it still dried out seeing this.

On the opening night of debates he labours in dragging one leg behind him, and his arm his hanging at his waist. He gets to the podium, his face is completely melted down one side. He says one thing, and one thing only...."and of course, the genocide", face plants the podium, strokes out on the floor, his wig falls off, has explosive diarrhoea and dies. In front of a global audience. It may not be the end he wanted, but it's the one he deserves.

Unless he literally drops dead in full view of several right wing camera crews, when he does eventually permanently fuck off, the conspiracy theories are going to be absolutely out of this world. Can’t Fucking Wait.