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Beppe from EastEnders: "No president has ever been attacked as much." JFK's brain: "Hold my beer."

Cut to Brad's office:

Feel sorry for the people whose livelihoods are being messed with. But otherwise, couldn’t happen to a nicer club

So that’s what happened to Smooth Operator. I wonder if he’ll get Wacky Jnr on the payroll

Another Mag shirt story. Why aye.

Sounds over-qualified.

Crazypants take, sorry. For one, Biden has been mullered by the left for his terrible Israel policy but that notwithstanding, anyone saying he is "more dangerous" than Trump is sniffing glue. Biden is an establishment politician. Trump wants to be Kim Jong Un. They are not the same. Trump returning to the presidency will mean the end of democracy in the United States of America, full stop, and probably (the expansion of) wars in Europe and the Middle East. He and his cronies have a well-publicised plan to strip the federal government of anyone other than his sycophants and enact a bureaucratic dictatorship, enabled by slates of false electors and complicit state legislatures. But there are still morons wringing their hands over the "cozzie livs" and thinking that electing him is going to bring gas down to a dollar again like it was for a month during a global pandemic, or maybe make the gays go away, or put Jesus back in schools, or whatever delusions they cling to, and this sort of "both sides" rhetoric and that shovelled forth by the commenter referenced above by PL is not helping.

The fact he hasn’t clocked he’s the prick in his made up story makes it even funnier. Why feel the need to prove how much of a mackem you are thousands of miles away from where anyone gives a fuck

"Hello Big Angth, it'th me 'awy Kane, yeah obviouthly. Any chanth I can come back home to thpurth big Angth you flamin' galah? Hello?"

Reminds me of when Ashley came in to NUFC and got rid of half of the turnstile staff. Rather than trying to flog a few more shirts or advertising, elects to take away peoples income.

Howay lads, get it together.

All I can think of is the "Why is it never us?!" lass from Sunderland Til I Die.

Lady à Courcey DeTroyte: "Darling, I need a word. I've found out about your dirty little secret." Lord à Courcey DeTroyte: "Ah, listen darling I can explain, I tripped over a kerb and ended up landing on the male prostitute who just happened to be lying there naked sniffing cocaine. In the fall my clothes snagged on a protruding erection causing them to fall off and his rolled up fifty pound note ended up one of my nostrils with the class A drug accidently being inhaled from a line spread out on his buttocks." Lady à Courcey-DeTroyte: "No, not that, the fact you're standing in this year's election for Sunak!" Lord à Courcey DeTroyte: "Oh fuck. You know."

Has Eales appointed his replacement?

Darren Eales, Newcastle United's CEO, said: "Brad is an exceptional operator" I know he's the Chief Operating Officer Darren, but howay. "He can operate with the best of them and that's why we've made him chief of all the operators. Let's operate!"

As of this morning I think they still had about 190 candidates left to select with about a week to go.

The Glover family. Il Capo di tutti capi:

And of course all those who were shot

The last two sentences. The BBC rewriting the rules of leader debates so that Farage can get on the show.

Bepe from Eastenders weighs in.

Love the details in that. The diet Coke bottle, hay stalk, and Truss in the corner.

Cabbage crates over the briney Sir!

The meltdown when they flog him for £2 million and not the £25 million that the fans think he’s worth is going to be incredible.

Good news for Starmer. Abbott now the number 2 item on BBC.

True story marra

Biden represents the political hegemony. It is far from perfect but has worked for most people in the West since WW2, and actually achieved great things such as in health, education, and living standards. I think your criticism of him is a bit OTT tbh and suggesting he is worse than Trump is astonishing. Biden being reelected you won't notice much here. Trump gets elected and I can almost certainly guarantee things will get worse for all the people of Europe, including you and your family. He's a monster intent on destroying the most powerful democracy on the planet. He's a grotesque narcissistic psychopath. It was bad enough first time, next time he is unleashed and you'll be begging for someone like Biden back. I am worried tbh. For all it's flaws, I remember as a kid the US always seemed like some utopia compared with here, it was truly aspirational. Now I wouldn't go there if you paid me except for work, when I guess they are paying me. I'm essentially owned by Americans as are many of us. I just try to put it to the back of my mind, but with the UK being isolated outside the EU, outside the 3 super powers, times are more uncertain than ever before.

Has Sunak got a 5th columnist working in his comms team? 👇

Aye, even Rooney seems upset about the news.

I don’t know. This saga is pretty good

Harry Kane watching this get announced.....

I can't wait until Neil Morrissey shags Bayern behind Kompany's back.

On the even brighter side, if he’s also convicted in any of the federal trials he faces he’ll get an enhanced sentence because of his criminal record. 😂 Also as this is a state conviction, it’s not pardonable. I don’t see this being successfully appealed either (he’ll try) but can’t see a higher court overturning 34 counts unanimously delivered by a jury. That said the Supreme Court is bent as fuck but not sure how they can change a state decision, their remit is federal law.

Yes and yes. It has no official impact on his capacity for office, even if he goes to jail. Presidential candidates have run from prison before. He's now a convicted felon, though. It puts paid to the idea that this guy can do literally anything and remain above the law. A jury of his peers found him guilty on all counts, and I expect this is just the first conviction he's going to face. Good day for the USA, still life in the old girl.

I nearly put (Pedro 3pm Dub) after ‘Obviously’

At least they had a minotaur around Europe

This is the guy they're all getting worked up about: