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Well look, if we've exhausted our list then what else can we expect them to do? The list:

Why do they look like they're featuring in a Ronny Gill story such as 'The council have taken away a trampoline the bairns used to use and now they're crying and upset' and they've been told to use the Ronny Gill sad face look by the photographer?

"Hope you're all enjoying the show here at the Stack? Everybody all shout, 'YEAH!!' lol. My next song is a song I first heard a few ago and it touched me deep inside, it means a lot to me personally and I hope you'll love it too...." 🎵 Money's too tight to mention Oh money, money, money, money Money's too tight to mention I can't afford Fabian Schär's suspension 🎶

"Hey, Kieran!" "What?" "Do you want the good news or the bad news?" "Go on then, give me the bad news first." "You've lost the captain's armband and Tino is starting against Southampton and Bournemouth." "Not too happy about that to be quite fucking honest with you." "Ok, now give me the good news!" "You're team mate and fellow RB Tino has been called up for England! Fantastic news, eh?" "Fucks sake."

40hrs 36m of the window left. Paul Mitchell:

Mitchell to Parrish with about 10 mins remaining;

Oldest shittest joke since the formation of transfer windows, nice one for not only digging up its unfunny corpse on Twitter but posting it here too.

I think people are quite melodramatic. Our people certainly aren’t as stupid as some think they are. I am actually quite relaxed about our transfer business. We definitely aren’t signing players for the sake of it but to make necessary improvements. There are certainly financial restrictions and we do still have a lot of dead wood on good wages. People moan about it but you can’t force other clubs to throw money at players we don’t want anymore and who haven’t shown anything for several years. There were obviously players we were targeting but we also can’t force clubs to sell players to us or force players signing on those terms we are offering. I am quite relieved that we seem to only want to sign players we think are actual improvements for the right fees and wages. Our squad could and should be better but as we have a good manager there is no reason to doubt thaf we are good enough to try to qualify for Europe again. There are enough teams with good players who will try the same. Although I am unsure about Guehi’s quality it would gave been nice to get him for a realistic fee, but I actually don’t think he would really have lifted us to another level. I actually do think a right winger or creative midfielder would have a much bigger impact on our performances but again those players do have to be available. The transfer window looks to end rather disappointing but we are still miles away from those times when we needed improvements to stay competitive and in the league.

Another thread on the SMB about how morally superior they are. This is funny though. Apparently they are more humble than us too. And more intelligent. Not intelligent enough to see the irony of that comment though....

Look like a shit NDubz tribute band,

Alright CT Bit early for a morning wank init?

Probably his GP, heard he has been constipated for weeks. GP has recommended he stands to try something different to get the movement going again... Which means if he is a stander, Eddie (and the good folk of Toontastic) wont have it...

Hey baby, can we yield some treasure tonight?

I see the mourning period for his lass didn't last long?

Right dirty song that You make me tremble when your hand moves lower You taste a little then you swallow slower Nature has a way of yielding treasure Pleasure made for you, oh

Things have been a bit average so far this year, losing family and other stuff no one needs to hear about but thankfully even NUFC couldn't fuck up today. This little guy is coming home with us, picture is from when we met him at 6 weeks, he's just turned 10 weeks. @thebrokendoll let us know if you still need help with the rodents?

Its well within Palaces rights to hold their ground, Parish is a twat though so I'm going to enjoy Guehi running his contract down and leaving for less than half our offer while palace manage yet another 12th-ish finish.

Looking forward to Chelsea signing Guehi tomorrow mind.

The club should buy it then sell it to pif for £400m

More demure, more mindful.

Everything obviously sweetness and light at Everton

It would appear there’s a move being made for leadership of team pissypants

Sorry, I stopped reading at this point.

'Look I'm not angry with you, I'm just disappointed. Now come down here and apologise to your brother and sister.'

Perfect time for a wank. Morning wood and an 80s music video.

it’s not a fuck up? For real? Feels like a big balls up to me if we don’t sign at least one or two players that improve the first team

Ohhhhh do the goalie-cokey!

I've been positive throughout this summer but at this point, It's hard to conclude that this window is anything other than a clusterfuck now. We've lost two of our most promising young players while replacing nothing more than players we allowed to go for free. If we have our first choice starting 11 we still have a very good team and a bench that can actually make a difference, but we all know in this game, if you stand still you actually go backwards. And I'm not even sure we've stood still at this point. Whatever the reason behind this, it's not a good look and it sends us into the season on a down note straight away. It's difficult to believe we will be in the mix for top four as things stands and without that, we had better get used to the idea that we are going to lose our top players because Bruno, Isak and Gordon are good enough to be expecting to challenge for trophies and if the project stops looking like it's heading anywhere. So disappointing.

Only they could claim humility and intelligence whilst saying they’re everyone’s cup final and are MASSIVE etc.

I need to run some good patter workshops on here. There will be some compulsory attendees.

Let me consult the archives

I wouldn't want to be Kieran Trippier if Tino turns up dead in suspicious circumstances.

Wow, that's strange because we have a thread with hundreds of examples of them not being very humble and even more examples of them being thicker than a castle door.

https://x.com/GraemeBailey/status/1829134162936164418 It's laughable now

IMO if we dont get a CB in it's gonna be a v expensive summer as technically we need two then. Unless Howe renews Lascelles contract because he's good at selecting songs on the wireless to pump the lads up.

❌ Signing players is like buying a house ❌ Miggy is like Kluivert

Someone woke up on the wrong side of the hay bales today.

agreed. a massive boost, as was willock's performance before he got injured. absolutely gutted for willock. i really hope it's nothing serious. we need him back in the squad - another massive player for us sorely missed last season

Dazzler, meet Polarboy

Caveat - the additional games in Europe being offset by their next 3 rounds in the Carabao Cup being played at home against League One opposition.

https://www.readytogo.net/smb/threads/being-in-a-pub-full-of-mags.1639687/ "Makes me sick. Me dog wanted to bite the xunts but would have caught summick." I feel sorry for any English teachers from mackem land.

Harsh but fair although I think Gemmill and Gloomy aren’t that bad.

Rumour has it that a mistake was made and that the baby was thrown in the bin whilst the afterbirth was kept and raised instead.