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Ummmm...

Awks

The donkey is about to take the good folk of Blackpool for a ride, as is the mule next to him

Cheers lads. You're all right of course. It was a bit of a dry bumming but if everybody is dry bummed equally I'd give myself a 50/50 chance. I doubt that's the case though as I am sure they recruit from within. And yes. It's a learning exercise. I'm a slow learner when it comes to this though. This is the third fucking time I have been asked a question about how I have actively promoted equality and diversity now, and I still haven't bothered researching an appropriate answer. It appears "well, I enjoy watching lesbians with strap ons go for it" maybe isn't the correct answer?

No. But this thread raises an important question for the board admin. Could we implement the opposite of a follow thread option?

I'd love to continue on but me-dian some work right now.

Blackpool's already got his coaching gear ordered, even got him a hat to keep the wind out of his hair, errr, sorry, I mean sun out of his eyes....

Mmmm, donkey bacon

Aye, deep pan downstairs and chiquitos upstairs. We went there when id been out all day on the piss, got home, zonked out as I'd been on night shift the night before, five minutes of shaking me from my drunken slumber to tell me her waters had broken so I was in for another day and night without sleep. (I think she had a bairn later on, I can't remember?)

Probably not helpful, but my attitude whenever something like this happens is you did your best, and it really is just a job. You've still got all the stuff that really matters. Don't let a bad job interview mess with your head or make you feel bad about yourself, especially not given the circumstances that this one came bundled with. Let them hire some other dickhead if they like. And you never know, you might think this went a lot worse than they did.

I sometimes accidentally follow things, get a load of notifications, and discover it's some fucking stupid cunts on ANOTHER interminable pun run.

Americans are pretty pathetic when it comes to alcohol - and mental health for that matter. Every yank I meet seems to be in the twelve steps programme because they once drank a whole bottle of wine, or therapy. The looks you get for sinking six pints in a couple of hours, like it isn't standard practice. Stop whining, pull your socks up, drink yourself into a coma and bury your emotions deep down ffs

Their ring fingers

I've never did a presentation and think I'd tell them to stick it if anyone asked me to, so you've done better than me. #damnedwithfaintpraise

Mate, I know a fella who started as an AO in the civil service and he’s the CEO of a public body now. And he said to me that everyone thinks his career has been success after success after success. But in reality he said it’s a been a series of failures. Where he flunked most interviews and the only good thing about that is making sure you learn about what you did wrong and do it better in the next one. And quite apart from all that, 6 minutes for a presentation is ridiculous and your preparation was far from ideal. And you might even have done a lot better than you think. Either way, please don’t be too hard on yourself

Dejected, exhausted. Job interview today, the one I was told that I needed to do a presentation on when on holiday. So I thought about it a lot on holiday, actually used my S pen on my Galaxy to do something useful for once by writing up a plan on my flight home. Converted the plan to Powerpoint on my return, finished it at midnight, sent it off. Couldn't sleep. Tried rehearsing it this morning, it's only supposed to be a 6 minute presentation but I couldn't get it down to less than 10 minutes without missing important parts out (and the bantz I had planned to ease the atmosphere). First thing I get told its 6 minutes with a hard cut off. Fuck. Nowhere near the presentation it could have been. Rushed, incoherent. Following questions were hard. Some answered well, some not, no disasters I don't think. Interviewers are on mute while you talk and completely deadpan. Much younger than me despite being senior positions. I haven't got good vibes from this at all though overall. Just feel the whole exercise has been futile and I'll never get the job I want. If I don't get a call tomorrow I'll know its been a waste of time, added stress when I was supposed to be relaxing, and I keep getting older. Also took an extra day a/l for this shit. Oh well, back to work tomorrow, make the most of it.

There’s no need for this in the stats thread. You’re just being mean.

Is that date noted when he started following it? That's some commitment.

that's what I was just thinking.

Having his first presser on the pier

I think Bruce was linked with that job too. (How’s the beer can?)

Let’s hope he doesn’t try to go on any donkey rides when he’s there. That poor animal’s back will never be the same

winds the fuck up out of me this does. i don't even give a flying fuck about chelsea blatantly taking the piss, or man city for that matter. it pisses me off that I've got massive reservations about being owned by the saudis but I'm prepared to shamelessly overlook them in exchange for just ONE trophy (I don't really count the fairs cup, I was only a bairn and can hardly remember it) before I depart this mortal coil. time's running out. stop pussy footing about you PIF cunts, masters and his mates are on the verge of collapse anyway.

Haven't got a clue, maybe it was they had Jack Clarke playing for them ?

If we beat Wimbledon in the LC, I hope we don't get the mackems...oh I hope we don't draw them in the FA Cup, they'd beat us even without excile playing for them.

i would like to offer you the opportunity to subtract this pun from the record

chin up mate. Work to live, don’t live to work. Having a job you love day-in, day-out is a privilege few enjoy. Make the most of what you have. It’s definitely better than you think. You’re a clever bloke with a good career and are comfortable enough. The competitive nature in us makes these things seem more important than they an actually are. I also bet you were loads better than you think in the interview as you are obviously your own worse critic. I have had several absolute howlers during job interviews over the years and have missed out on loads of promotions that I really wanted at the time. It stings for a while but it isn’t the end of the world. Far from it actually as missed opportunities often end up working out for the best when other doors open. you got this. And you’ve always got us 🙌

Not sure it's just yanks who seem to not be able to handle drinking. When I worked at the German bank me and my boss used to sit on the same desk as two risk managers for a while who were old school city drinkers and we used to go out of a Friday lunchtime for 2 or 3 pints - not exactly a skinful but anyway. We got called into the general manager's office and as a result of his Friday walk around the office he said our desk stank of beer and could we cut it out. When we mentioned we only had 2 or 3 he was absolutely shocked as he'd assumed we'd had one at the most. We just toned it down for a while with no further action.

Feel better about yourself? He's been made a multi-millionaire multiple times over by being extremely terrible at his job. If anything you should be ashamed of yourself that you couldn't make millions off the back of face planting the bottom rung of the career ladder tbh

Not well. Even worse when a mate leaned over and quietly suggested Howard probably would have been better off just taking the selfie.

With a little patience.

How did he take that ??

And yet: bars with huge parking lots. Funny old bunch.

We’re not playing as well as we could be.

Chart 1 has a broad explanation already. NUFC specific it shows that we're conceding a lot of chances and not really creating that much. Chart 2 shows the efficacy of attack; above the line = scoring more than you'd expect, below = scoring fewer. Ideally you want to be close to MCI - creating loads, but scoring even more. Chart 3 shows the quality of defence; above the line = conceding more than you'd expect, below = conceding fewer. Ideally you want to be where Liv are - allowing few chances and conceding even less. Chart 4 is essentially the same as Chart 3, but with the also showing the total number of goals conceded by size of bubble.

Dave, do you know what I would do. I would write a paragraph about how big of a cunt everyone that has replied so far is, then I would lock the thread and let that be theirs and your legacy.

Who's the carrier? Just I flew to Cuba with Virgin once and less than 2 hours out of Gatwick, and only a "free" drink in, they shut the bar cos apparently a bunch of Scots weedgie cunts had drank the bar dry. On a fucking 747. They then all switched to duty frees getting more obnoxious every hour. Cunts. I'd have rather paid than faced a dry flight with pissed up Glasgie neds. Good luck.

Oops- wrong shite ex-Newcastle manager. Schteve is Jamaica gaffer

So Bruce has been appointed as Blackpool head coach. The owner has described Bruce as "organised" and having "the desire to build a hardworking and entertaining side". Someone hasn't done their own research, he'll be gone by Christmas.

Is this going to be like the Guehi thread with no stats and just a lot of mackem behaviour?