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It's not all plain sailing for him.

This story surely can’t be true, any self-respecting mackem would have mentioned the name of the bar and what ‘quarter’ of town it was in, what rare and expensive continental beverage he was savouring and mentioned the exact tasty, obscure local dish he was nonchalantly enjoying with his sister wife. Not to mention the fact that he would have windmilled the grayevy staiyend mag coont who dared speak to him while the locals cheered and the rest of the mags looked down humbly and respectfully at their pints of fosters.

The surrounding Spanish crowd cheering and applauding, doing Mexican waves and patting T-bone enthusiastically on the back "Nosotros tambien odiamos mags amigos, quiero decir, marra".

Gerrin.

Erm I think umm err I think erm

If he is still smashing grannies' back doors in, I sincerely hope they have their affairs in order.

Rough looking for 38 mind, but he didn't look much different 20 years ago.

Looks like someone dropped a Christmas ham on a barbers floor.

Had a canny weekend. Saturday saw my nephews and had a good laugh then went to friends for dinner where I was a climbing frame for their nippers. Sunday my wife was supposed to do a 10k run but the weather was shocking so she just did a run on the treadmill. I did a couple of hours on the bike and then we just chilled. Shes gone up to Aberdeen today for a few days with work. I have been out on the bike and its beautiful out there. Perfect temp, no wind, lush. I cycled past Bramham Park where they hold Leeds Festival. That was two weeks ago and they're still dismantling the stages etc.

Mrs wykiki enters the chat

Aye. I was reading about the Covid inquiry today, lots of testimony from NHS staff, patients and relatives of victims. All very good stuff, but the real inquiry should be in to how many BILLIONS of pounds were backhanded directly in the pockets of Tory donors/cronies/mates. To me, it’s the biggest UK crime so far this century and there doesn’t seem to be any great hurry to prosecute the cunts who perpetrated it.

I was reading there about Beyoncé not getting nominated for a Country Music Award but one of the people who was nominated was a singer who was ‘cancelled’ a few years ago for using the N word. After that radio stations stopped playing his songs and the record company dropped him etc but after the furore died down it all went back to normal. The interesting thing though was that immediately after the controversy broke his record sales increased 100% in the following week. This is the sort of people you’re dealing with.

To be fair, he was comparing Isak to prime Exile

It’s the lack of details and totally improbable outcomes that really make these RTG anecdotes so entertaining

And, as I was searching for the mackem logic gif on my phone, a reminder of genius Keith came up.

how many wanks have you had over that Kendzior lass. Be honest here. Anyway I'm talking about if he loses, the Republicans are fucked. If he wins, everyone's fucked.

And when the usual suspects complain about the rich leaving etc etc fuckin bombard them with stuff like this. What’s gone on in the last 14 years wasn’t so much ideological as much as opportunistic…a massive transfer of public money into the back pockets of a tiny few. That fuckin wanker Sunak given his background unsurprisingly being a major instigator of it and just waving it all through when he got the top job. He and others involved should be fuckin properly investigated. And if it gets awkward for Starmer so fuckin what? https://amp.theguardian.com/politics/article/2024/sep/09/tory-covid-contracts-worth-15bn-had-corruption-red-flags-study-finds

Spaniel is fucking useless

He looks like he's been wiping his arse with his face.

I once knew a girl who had one leg shorter than the other. Eileen She had a sister who didn't have one leg shorter than the other. Noleen.

Wow, he was really committed to his hobby.

Keith is officially a sad mackem bastard.

Anyway, back in after a lovely birthday night and that MLF tale has just rounded it off nicely as I sit listening to music on YouTube with a glass of red. Get in.

right up there with lewis carroll smoking a shit load of opium and writing alice in wonderland that little tale is.

Ted Cruz is about as uncharismatic a candidate as you could choose. Vance was supposed to be the successor and he stinks the place out at the rallies. Trump is a unique character. He's a non career politician, bizarre product of the 80s. Basically a TV character, genuinely funny, he chats wild shit, tells provable lies, and gets away with all of it. I really don't think that's gonna be very easy to replace.

The ones that Geordie Bangers do are like a Boxing Day turd wrapped in pastry… Glorious!

Not surprising really as he's only about 2 inches high on the telly.

Just been for some food with the wife as I cba cooking. Sat waiting for dinner and a massive wave of emotion just hit me and I started to cry I read at lunch about Rub Borrow's bairns doing something at the new MND centre in Leeds in tribute at their father. It popped in my head at dinner and I was going to tell the wife and then this emotion just hit me. Fuck me, the menopause has hit me early.

OMG I hope things have improved in his life.

I don't think he's ever been deliberately funny. It's all weird nicknames and bizarre boasts. Some of this shit he comes out with is funny because it shows how dense he is, or how impossible fragile his ego is. But then, I'm laughing at him, not with him.

Every encounter they come out of it looking as cool as Clint Eastwood whilst the Mag looks like James Cordon on steroids. Wow, some boys.....

The place is fine, but he took a swing at a mackem and missed, and got laughed at like the end of a He-Man episode.

Just get sausage rolls THAT AREN'T FROM GREGGS is all I'm saying. I've thought for ages they tasted shit so it's not just about visual confirmation btw. I made some homemade sausage rolls the other day funnily enough as I love a DECENT sausage roll once in a while. They were Magnifique.

having barely featured on the beebs gossip column the entire time the transfer window was actually open, we're now never off it. antony from man utd now joining guehi (yawn) and elanga as january targets. very clearly mitchell providing the leaks here in a vain attempt to make himself look less of an incompetent thundercunt. but you can't fool me and hopey, no siree.

To be sure

Transfer window finally sunk in.

Well, got the rejection call. Feedback was that I was very close, I had the best written application, they thought the presentation was excellent, but I missed the mark on three questions and there was a better candidate on the day answering these. They recognise my lack of preparation was a major handicap and they recommend I keep on applying. Personally think its daft to choose someone on the basis of 3 questions over accumulated experience over 20 years, but there you go. Oh, they didn't like the lesbian strap-on response, so if I ever post about an up coming interview, please, please remind me not to use this again. 👍

Have you got a laptop with you, @Renton? If you're gonna have to try and pull slides together the night you get back, I can help get stuff into PowerPoint before then for you if you send me slide outlines and content. You'll probs still have to fuck about with it, but at least you're not starting from scratch.

She's probably laughing with you on mute given the wanker sign in front of her colleagues.