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It's not all plain sailing for him.

This story surely can’t be true, any self-respecting mackem would have mentioned the name of the bar and what ‘quarter’ of town it was in, what rare and expensive continental beverage he was savouring and mentioned the exact tasty, obscure local dish he was nonchalantly enjoying with his sister wife. Not to mention the fact that he would have windmilled the grayevy staiyend mag coont who dared speak to him while the locals cheered and the rest of the mags looked down humbly and respectfully at their pints of fosters.

The surrounding Spanish crowd cheering and applauding, doing Mexican waves and patting T-bone enthusiastically on the back "Nosotros tambien odiamos mags amigos, quiero decir, marra".

Gerrin.

Erm I think umm err I think erm

If he is still smashing grannies' back doors in, I sincerely hope they have their affairs in order.

Rough looking for 38 mind, but he didn't look much different 20 years ago.

Looks like someone dropped a Christmas ham on a barbers floor.

Had a canny weekend. Saturday saw my nephews and had a good laugh then went to friends for dinner where I was a climbing frame for their nippers. Sunday my wife was supposed to do a 10k run but the weather was shocking so she just did a run on the treadmill. I did a couple of hours on the bike and then we just chilled. Shes gone up to Aberdeen today for a few days with work. I have been out on the bike and its beautiful out there. Perfect temp, no wind, lush. I cycled past Bramham Park where they hold Leeds Festival. That was two weeks ago and they're still dismantling the stages etc.

Mrs wykiki enters the chat

Aye. I was reading about the Covid inquiry today, lots of testimony from NHS staff, patients and relatives of victims. All very good stuff, but the real inquiry should be in to how many BILLIONS of pounds were backhanded directly in the pockets of Tory donors/cronies/mates. To me, it’s the biggest UK crime so far this century and there doesn’t seem to be any great hurry to prosecute the cunts who perpetrated it.

I was reading there about Beyoncé not getting nominated for a Country Music Award but one of the people who was nominated was a singer who was ‘cancelled’ a few years ago for using the N word. After that radio stations stopped playing his songs and the record company dropped him etc but after the furore died down it all went back to normal. The interesting thing though was that immediately after the controversy broke his record sales increased 100% in the following week. This is the sort of people you’re dealing with.

To be fair, he was comparing Isak to prime Exile

It’s the lack of details and totally improbable outcomes that really make these RTG anecdotes so entertaining

And, as I was searching for the mackem logic gif on my phone, a reminder of genius Keith came up.

how many wanks have you had over that Kendzior lass. Be honest here. Anyway I'm talking about if he loses, the Republicans are fucked. If he wins, everyone's fucked.

And when the usual suspects complain about the rich leaving etc etc fuckin bombard them with stuff like this. What’s gone on in the last 14 years wasn’t so much ideological as much as opportunistic…a massive transfer of public money into the back pockets of a tiny few. That fuckin wanker Sunak given his background unsurprisingly being a major instigator of it and just waving it all through when he got the top job. He and others involved should be fuckin properly investigated. And if it gets awkward for Starmer so fuckin what? https://amp.theguardian.com/politics/article/2024/sep/09/tory-covid-contracts-worth-15bn-had-corruption-red-flags-study-finds

Spaniel is fucking useless

He looks like he's been wiping his arse with his face.

I once knew a girl who had one leg shorter than the other. Eileen She had a sister who didn't have one leg shorter than the other. Noleen.

Wow, he was really committed to his hobby.

Keith is officially a sad mackem bastard.

Anyway, back in after a lovely birthday night and that MLF tale has just rounded it off nicely as I sit listening to music on YouTube with a glass of red. Get in.

right up there with lewis carroll smoking a shit load of opium and writing alice in wonderland that little tale is.

Ted Cruz is about as uncharismatic a candidate as you could choose. Vance was supposed to be the successor and he stinks the place out at the rallies. Trump is a unique character. He's a non career politician, bizarre product of the 80s. Basically a TV character, genuinely funny, he chats wild shit, tells provable lies, and gets away with all of it. I really don't think that's gonna be very easy to replace.

The ones that Geordie Bangers do are like a Boxing Day turd wrapped in pastry… Glorious!

Not surprising really as he's only about 2 inches high on the telly.

Just been for some food with the wife as I cba cooking. Sat waiting for dinner and a massive wave of emotion just hit me and I started to cry I read at lunch about Rub Borrow's bairns doing something at the new MND centre in Leeds in tribute at their father. It popped in my head at dinner and I was going to tell the wife and then this emotion just hit me. Fuck me, the menopause has hit me early.

Labour has said it's gonna set up a covid fraud commission (or some other name) to get back as much of the cash as they can. https://www.theguardian.com/politics/article/2024/jul/22/reeves-to-appoint-covid-corruption-tsar-to-claw-back-billions-of-waste?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_Other

Aye, needs something to lubricate her throat. l

Ewerk might be on to something you know. Even if it's nowt, get some zen shit going on. I know you love a stat, so I'll knock something up for you later on.

Hopefully you’re right. As long as he doesn’t win. It’s canny mad that they’ve went all in on him again after the last time either way. Basically willing to throw away US Democracy for getting into power

Episode that’s from was on bbc4 on Friday night, co hosted with Peter Powell (on lplayer for 28 days) it’s ripe for CM pod, they’d spend an hour on Peebles jerkin alone

From the same Steve Wright school of having a great face for radio

In all, 113 different score lines have been achieved in more than 135 years of league football (when considering, for example, winning 12-2 being different from losing 2-12). Before the start of the 2024/25 season, the following clubs have achieved the most of these score lines: Winning 1-0 (33,957 matches): 442 times - Burnley Winning 2-0 (24,262 matches): 382 times - Liverpool Winning 2-1 (30,503 matches): 418 times - Sheffield United Winning 3-0 (12,947 matches): 227 times - Liverpool Winning 3-1 (15,320 matches): 253 times - Manchester City Winning 3-2 (9,525 matches): 158 times - Manchester United Winning 4-0 (5,614 matches): 131 times - Liverpool Winning 4-1 (6,555 matches): 117 times - Arsenal Winning 4-2 (3,888 matches): 75 times - Manchester City Winning 4-3 (1,671 matches): 32 times - Liverpool Winning 5-0 (2,338 matches): 59 times - Manchester United Winning 5-1 (2,533 matches): 54 times - Manchester City Winning 5-2 (1,573 matches): 33 times - Everton Winning 5-3 (608 matches): 15 times - Arsenal, Sheffield United, Wolverhampton Wanderers Winning 5-4 (205 matches): eight times - Leicester City Winning 6-0 (791 matches): 20 times - Liverpool Winning 6-1 (964 matches): 22 times - Manchester United Winning 6-2 (515 matches): 15 times - Aston Villa Winning 6-3 (212 matches): eight times - West Bromwich Albion Winning 6-4 (68 matches): five times - Plymouth Argyle, Wolverhampton Wanderers Winning 6-5 (17 matches): two times - Grimsby Town Winning 7-0 (292 matches): eight times - Arsenal, Fulham Winning 7-1 (341 matches): 12 times - Aston Villa Winning 7-2 (168 matches): seven times - Newcastle United, Sunderland Winning 7-3 (71 matches): four times - Stockport County Winning 7-4 (29 matches): three times - Liverpool, Watford Winning 7-5 (seven matches): two times - Blackburn Rovers Winning 7-6 (one match): one time - Charlton Athletic Winning 8-0 (103 matches): six times - Arsenal Winning 8-1 (94 matches): five times - Wolverhampton Wanderers Winning 8-2 (49 matches): three times - Chester City Winning 8-3 (19 matches): two times - Aston Villa, Blackburn Rovers, Sheffield United Winning 8-4 (five matches): one time - Accrington Stanley, Barnsley, Blackpool, Everton, Leicester City Winning 8-5 (three matches): one time - Burton Swifts, Derby County, Stockport County Winning 9-0 (37 matches): four times - Manchester United Winning 9-1 (34 matches): three times - Blackburn Rovers, Wolverhampton Wanderers Winning 9-2 (25 matches): two times - Mansfield Town, Middlesbrough, Nottingham Forest Winning 9-3 (10 matches): one time - Brighton & Hove Albion, Burnley, Darwen, Derby County, Everton, Hartlepool United, Luton Town, Manchester City, Southampton, Tottenham Hotspur Winning 9-4 (two matches): one time - Bristol City, Gillingham Winning 10-0 (16 matches): two times - Aston Villa, Sheffield United Winning 10-1 (11 matches): one time - Birmingham City, Fulham, Gateshead, Hartlepool United, Huddersfield Town, Hull City, Liverpool, Manchester City, Manchester United, Wolverhampton Wanderers, Wrexham Winning 10-2 (six matches): one time - Birmingham City, Darwen, Fulham, Luton Town, Norwich City, Reading Winning 10-3 (three matches): one time - Hull City, Middlesbrough, Stoke City Winning 10-4 (one match): one time - Tottenham Hotspur Winning 11-0 (one match): one time - Oldham Athletic Winning 11-1 (seven matches): one time - Aston Villa, Birmingham City, Bradford City, Hull City, Lincoln City, Notts County, Tranmere Rovers Winning 11-2 (two matches): one time - Oldham Athletic, Sheffield United Winning 11-3 (one match): one time - Manchester City Winning 12-0 (eight matches): two times - Birmingham City Winning 12-1 (one match): one time - Barrow Winning 12-2 (one match): one time - Aston Villa Winning 13-0 (two matches): one time - Newcastle United, Stockport County Winning 13-4 (one match): one time - Tranmere Rovers Drawing 0-0 (14,992 matches): 397 times - Preston North End Drawing 1-1 (24,161 matches): 624 times - Nottingham Forest Drawing 2-2 (10,715 matches): 298 times - Leicester City Drawing 3-3 (2,336 matches): 72 times - Wolverhampton Wanderers Drawing 4-4 (321 matches): 14 times - Tottenham Hotspur Drawing 5-5 (39 matches): three times - Aston Villa, Blackburn Rovers, Grimsby Town, West Ham United Drawing 6-6 (two matches): one time - Arsenal, Charlton Athletic, Leicester City, Middlesbrough Losing 0-1 (33,957 matches): 461 times - Birmingham City Losing 0-2 (24,262 matches): 339 times - Port Vale Losing 0-3 (12,947 matches): 183 times - Leyton Orient Losing 0-4 (5,614 matches): 81 times - Lincoln City Losing 0-5 (2,338 matches): 38 times - Burnley Losing 0-6 (791 matches): 18 times - Notts County Losing 0-7 (292 matches): 10 times - Barnsley Losing 0-8 (103 matches): four times - Birmingham City, Nottingham Forest, Sunderland, Tranmere Rovers Losing 0-9 (37 matches): three times - Darwen Losing 0-10 (16 matches): three times - Darwen Losing 0-11 (one match): one time - Southport Losing 0-12 (eight matches): two times - Walsall Losing 0-13 (two matches): one time - Halifax Town, Newport County Losing 1-2 (30,503 matches): 408 times - Notts County Losing 1-3 (15,320 matches): 212 times - Notts County Losing 1-4 (6,555 matches): 102 times - Grimsby Town Losing 1-5 (2,533 matches): 52 times - Notts County Losing 1-6 (964 matches): 20 times - Crewe Alexandra Losing 1-7 (341 matches): eight times - Birmingham City, Burnley, Derby County, Port Vale Losing 1-8 (94 matches): four times - West Bromwich Albion Losing 1-9 (34 matches): three times - Notts County Losing 1-10 (11 matches): two times - Blackpool Losing 1-11 (seven matches): one time - Carlisle United, Charlton Athletic, Crewe Alexandra, Durham City, Glossop, Newport County, Rotherham United Losing 1-12 (one match): one time - Gateshead Losing 2-3 (9,525 matches): 144 times - Wolverhampton Wanderers Losing 2-4 (3,888 matches): 65 times - Sheffield Wednesday Losing 2-5 (1,573 matches): 29 times - Blackburn Rovers Losing 2-6 (515 matches): 13 times - Leicester City Losing 2-7 (168 matches): eight times - York City Losing 2-8 (49 matches): four times - Leicester City Losing 2-9 (25 matches): two times - Lincoln City Losing 2-10 (six matches): two times - Torquay United Losing 2-11 (two matches): one time - Cardiff City, Chester City Losing 2-12 (one match): one time - Accrington Losing 3-4 (1,671 matches): 32 times - Bolton Wanderers Losing 3-5 (608 matches): 16 times - Middlesbrough Losing 3-6 (212 matches): nine times - Cardiff City Losing 3-7 (71 matches): four times - Darlington, Everton Losing 3-8 (19 matches): two times - Burnley, Leicester City Losing 3-9 (10 matches): one time - Lincoln City, Loughborough, Port Vale, Sheffield Wednesday, Stoke City, Swindon Town, Tranmere Rovers, Walsall, West Bromwich Albion, Wolverhampton Wanderers Losing 3-10 (three matches): one time - Sheffield United, West Bromwich Albion, Wolverhampton Wanderers Losing 3-11 (one match): one time - Lincoln City Losing 4-5 (205 matches): five times - Arsenal, Sheffield Wednesday, Stockport County, West Ham United Losing 4-6 (68 matches): three times - Derby County, Preston North End Losing 4-7 (29 matches): two times - Ashington, Gillingham, Manchester United, Portsmouth, Swansea City Losing 4-8 (five matches): one time - Charlton Athletic, Fulham, Lincoln City, Manchester City, Plymouth Argyle Losing 4-9 (two matches): one time - Exeter City, Gillingham Losing 4-10 (one match): one time - Everton Losing 4-13 (one match): one time - Oldham Athletic Losing 5-6 (17 matches): two times - Crewe Alexandra, Newcastle United, Sunderland Losing 5-7 (seven matches): one time - Aston Villa, Birmingham City, Mansfield Town, Millwall, Reading, Sheffield United, Tottenham Hotspur Losing 5-8 (three matches): one time - Blackburn Rovers, Chester City, Walsall Losing 6-7 (one match): one time - Huddersfield Town No need to thank me @The Fish

Breaking news at the Paralympics where 3 wheelchair users have tested positive for WD40

His name is Joe Willock and he’s back in a few weeks

Worse than Scotland

So I’m sitting here watching MK Dons v Walsall. And it’s shite. Think there are more people in my fucking living room than in the ground. Anyway, only watching these cunts so as to check out their style of play before we play them in the League cup. Half time and checking out when our game against them is. And it is the other fucking ‘Dons’. Bastards

Fire up the tumble dryer! CT's back!

Dejected, exhausted. Job interview today, the one I was told that I needed to do a presentation on when on holiday. So I thought about it a lot on holiday, actually used my S pen on my Galaxy to do something useful for once by writing up a plan on my flight home. Converted the plan to Powerpoint on my return, finished it at midnight, sent it off. Couldn't sleep. Tried rehearsing it this morning, it's only supposed to be a 6 minute presentation but I couldn't get it down to less than 10 minutes without missing important parts out (and the bantz I had planned to ease the atmosphere). First thing I get told its 6 minutes with a hard cut off. Fuck. Nowhere near the presentation it could have been. Rushed, incoherent. Following questions were hard. Some answered well, some not, no disasters I don't think. Interviewers are on mute while you talk and completely deadpan. Much younger than me despite being senior positions. I haven't got good vibes from this at all though overall. Just feel the whole exercise has been futile and I'll never get the job I want. If I don't get a call tomorrow I'll know its been a waste of time, added stress when I was supposed to be relaxing, and I keep getting older. Also took an extra day a/l for this shit. Oh well, back to work tomorrow, make the most of it.

thanks lads, you're good eggs. it's my first experience seeing cancer up close with a loved-one and it's every bit as brutal and devastating as you imagine. solidarity to all of you who have been through similar. it's a funny one. she wasn't my mam, but i've never known grief like it. i lost all my grandparents, which was incredibly sad each time, but they were all elderly so it was easier to accept. my mother-in-law was only 69. and not only that she was a really young 69 - so full of life, energy and fun. she had so many friends - there were close to 200 people packing out the crematorium - people of all ages. she was also a fierce political activist and was often found outside the houses of parliament protesting against brexit or fascism, was a big supporter of the nhs and lgbtq rights. she also pretty much raised my kids through pre-school years, saving us a fortune on childcare fees and showering the with the sort of love and attention a childminder would probably struggle to replicate. i hugely admired her and loved her very much. we will miss her terribly.