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You still OK to be guest speaker?

Dipper has just farted in the office and followed through I'm in fucking tears. He farted then walked out the room quickly. Then just messaged me from the bog He's in there now stuck asking for my help, but I would rather post on here and ridicule him

Box of pampers on his desk for when he gets back to work, please.

There is no way on gods green earth this cunt isn't a noncey rapist

Fuck me, this HAS NOT gone down well at all

You think we are bad for this, you should go to France. I have had curries there with less spice than my fucking bedroom.

If they're old enough to be "mini adults", they're old enough to grow the fuck up and eat what they're served, make their own dinner, or starve. Sorted. I should become a parenting coach really, I'm great at this.

Fuck me, when did Sting become President of Lithuania !!!

Turns out Trump was factually correct about dogs being eaten in Springfield, there's a documentary about it.

Mind, he'll be furious he's the one on the left.

Apologies for putting some stats in here.

Just the £131m loss for Man U last season, which brings their losses for the last three seasons to £313m. Still, I'm sure they were absolutely compliant with PSR and can continue spending like a drunken sailor.

I feel sorry for ones who didn’t vote for the Tories or Reform. But the ones who did should be fine because they don’t believe in government handouts 👍🏻

Her answer on Ukraine is quality. Trump was asked if he wanted Ukraine to win the war and just said he wanted the war to be over. Wouldn't commit to wanting Ukraine to win, despite being asked several times. She comes on and says that if he was in power, Putin would already be in Kyiv, and eyeing the rest of Europe starting with Poland, and would Trump like to tell the 800,000 Polish Americans living in Pennsylvania how quickly he would give Polanf up for the sake of favour, and what he thinks is a friendship with Putin, a dictator who would eat him for lunch. I mean fucking hell, Pennsylvania is basically the keys to the white house for Harris. It's obviously a memorised answer that has been rehearsed, but she delivered it to perfection. She probably only needs 10% of that 800k to sit up and take notice to that answer.

We wouldn’t so we’re not. That’s the point.

Let me take you back to 2009. I used to live about 7 mins walk from work so I’d go home for lunch. On one fine Summers day I’d had a dicky stomach all morning. I’d just polished off my lunch and watched some TV then on the way down the stairs of my flat I let rip an almighty “bumsen burner”. Low and behold I followed through rather impressively. I rang my boss and told him id be late because I’d shit myself. He was absolutely fine about it. I then told the office when I got back. Wear it loud and proud people.

or as it's called in the medical profession, a minor sprain.

that east corner of what was left of the leazes terrace was where the cool cats used to hang out for a while in the mid 80s also upstairs in the east stand as near as you could get to the leazes as they'd give that last section to away supporters. was in there for the last game of the season against tottenham, was also chris waddle's last game for us before he fucked off to join them. got locked up for scrapping and ended up in market street dungeons till the early hours of sunday morning sharing a cell with jimmy fucking chargesheet! obviously I was innocent, not sure about jimmy.

Steady on there, Dan Quayle

So my understanding is the state pension is rising £400 this year because of the triple lock. If you take WFA away from this, that leaves £150? Which should cover inflation on food etc if the figures are to be believed (accommodation is another issue, affecting many people). If pensioners really are no worse off, then what is the big issue here? I just can't help thinking that in general, the pensioners have done very well from the tory government over the last 15 years, hence why they are the only group who vote tory. Every other demographic has been hit harder, including children. AND there is the matter we know we will not get the same pension provision in our own later years. There's always exceptions and people who fall through the net, and I have genuine sympathies for these people. But honestly I am not sure an untested fixed payment for heating is the correct use of resources.

Tay Tay is basically the white Martin Luther King.

I did it once but I was bad in bed with the flu. The actual proper flu, not a cold. I was that ill I was more bothered about the fact I’d have to get out of bed. I thought I’d done it once at a Hawkwind gig in Middlesbrough. But it was just a combination of paranoia, coming up on lsd, the sensation of sweat trickling down my leg being accentuated by that and (I think) someone doing an absolutely rancid fart directly behind me. Unless they’d followed through. Imagine my relief when I found a cubicle in the gents and realised it was a false alarm

My first ST was in the East stand quite near the away fans from 83 to 91 and I also stood in the Leazes for a couple of years before that. Jimmy Chargesheet - what a blast from the past - complete heed the ball.

Oh that was no accident.

Oh my sweet summer child, those aren't stats. That's a fucking opinion poll. Gethefuggouttahere

Will there be a buffet ?? Us poor pensioners need all the help we can get.

No WE fucking haven't, Mr. Incontinent.

We've all done it, followed through. But what nobody normal would do is tell the boss they have followed through. ESPECIALLY if that boss is wykiki. This lad needs referring to a head doctor.

Next time have an enormous shit in his chair and try to convince him he did it on the follow through. He’ll love that.

Was he hoping for Huggies Pull Ups? Mummy, WOW! I'm a big boy now.

Southgate man. What a fucking knobhead.

Not good, a revulsion fracture, even your bones hate you 😳

I think SOMEONE owes Renton an apology.

I watched an episode baked once, and I just kept turning to my lass and going "Is there meant to be something wrong with him?" I couldn't get over the way he was behaving and talking to people. She put if off in the end cos I was getting on her tits so much.

He's had to go home for a clean up

Everyone else: "I wonder what game that was and what was happening?" BD: "Take down that incriminating evidence, FFS!"

She isn’t the Ray of Light that the country needs right now…

We could have capitalised a bit more on our status as a champions league club last nseason to ramp the dodgy sponsorship up.

so it's inconceivable that it'll be anything other than an away win then? that's good news, I'm at this one (cheers... you know who you are! ) howay you snuggle bugs.

During a close season in the early 80s a load my mates and lots of other lads we all knew from the match went to Berwick for a piss up, joined by a Newcastle fan "Peter from Berwick" and his mates. It say it was a crazy day was an understatement. Every pub we went to something funny or crackers happened. During the day and I don't know why but (allegedly) Mr Chargesheet jumped on top of a police car and tried to pull the police sign off the top of it 😂 When the pubs shut in the afternoon (can you believe they did that in them days) we had a football game Us v Berwick Mags and then into the sea for a swim, not the best idea seeing we were all mortal. I seem to recall someone got attacked by a jelly fish and nearly drowned. The police eventually caught up to Jimmy and nicked him, no one seen him again that day or the day after, along with a few others. Some crashed out at Peter from Berwick's house as he had about a dozen mattresses at his place, some crashed out on the golf course or the train station. I miss the 80s 😂 He gets a mention in this article on Geordie Times from a while ago. https://www.geordietimes.com/2017/09/the-meadowhell-mental-mob-1-bad-blue.html

You've never played Russian roulette with a wet fart and lost? Amateur.

The lad shit his pants in the office. He needs to wipe his bum and take his medicine.

Aye. You can’t force kids to eat everything. And having identical twins, they’re basically genetically the same and have been introduced to stuff at the exact same time and still have different tastes. But you can definitely introduce them to stuff and I think you need to realise that not liking something when kids try it doesn’t mean they won’t after they’ve tried it a few times. It’s worth it from a healthy pov but it’s also going to mean they get a lot more enjoyment out of food over the course of their lives. I’m not trying to make out we’re perfect parents or anything but food is one thing where you can pretty much control when it comes to kids. The worst thing for me is seeing really obese kids because I know genetics comes into it but it’s largely down to their parents/guardians. I think if you don’t do it when they’re young it must be hard to break those habits though. Loads of my kids’ mates seem to be really fucking picky eaters. Which is fine when they visit because you can just do pizza and chips or whatever. But it’s not really setting them up for a healthy adult diet if they’re eating that about 4 or 5 times a week

what game is that a photo from?

Sad little mini-Trumps talking down a powerful woman.

It's a shame we won't see Trippier at Istanbul Airport. I like the look of confusion and fear on ex-Premier League players when they're met by hundreds of rabid Fenerbahce fans.