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With a minute…Trump tweets this then someone tries to shoot him…. @Gemmill can you provide conclusive proof that you’re not in Florida this weekend?

Found CT’s secret YouTube account.…

Love how CT lives like a 13 year old staying up to watch the first free 10 minutes of porn in his own house.

Aye, I think I remember you saying. Was that the one where the prospective buyers were complete twats who gazundered you, so you salted the lawn, shat under the floor boards and sewed some kippers into the curtains?

Was thinking why the 60s soul? Then I remembered the influence of Levi’s adverts. The Lady in Red though. I knew a lad in the 90s roughly my age (Who was otherwise seemingly normal and a good laugh) but who was genuinely into Chris De Burg. Fuck me

Aha, youse let it slip there marra. The sawdies put rockets in the ball and guided it in with remote control.

Paul Merson is one Sky contract extension away from posting one of these.

I was at a hotel recently and they played The Lady in Red during fucking breakfast. The audacity. Fortunately, they also had self-serve mimosas.

I used to have a pristine copy of Sgt. Peppers on vinyl, with all the inserts and cardboard pop-out taches, but I forgot about it and left it in the attic of my old house after I moved.

That old flake advert must've tipped CT over the edge.

Dirty talk.

His Mrs. creeping downstairs and catching him sucking his fingers.

Me looking for CT's funny picture on the funny picture thread.

Where the funny picture????????

Here’s a few more. Gary Holton ( Wayne), replaced Dave Vanian in the Damned for a short spell on tour. He also auditioned to replace Bon Scott in AC/DC. Auf Wiedersehen translates literally as “go widdershins”, which is Scotch for anti-clockwise. It was chosen as the title of the show because bricklayers traditionally work in an anticlockwise direction. Tim Healy has rattled both ends of Denise Squelch and survived. All the Newcastle born actors on the show are secretly massive lads fans. So was Pat Roach, Moxey and Barry. * some of the above may stretch the definition of “facts”… some, but not all.

You’ve got a jukebox?…

Heyyyyy

Those two both sound, in title and subject matter, like the kind of made-for-tv shite that you’d catch your mam bawling her eyes out over if you skived off school for the day.

Magnets (or magnates to some)

Yeah, Mrs Rents chisseled a bit of the Berlin wall herself when she was inter-railing. We've since lost it but it was just a chunk of graffittied concrete. This is my favourite use for the Berlin wall, as a homeopathic cure: "drinking a solution made with the crushed concrete of the Berlin wall can cure physical symptoms including asthma, headaches and insomnia resulting from depression, grief or oppression among other things". https://withberlinlove.com/2016/07/01/berlin-wall-homeopathic-remedy-murus-berlinensis/ This quackery actually got royal approval from none other than our glorious king sausage fingers himself. so is obviously a bargain! https://www.thetimes.com/uk/royal-family/article/homeopathy-remedy-using-berlin-wall-has-royal-approval-ffngh5wm3

Just remembered but I once saw Vicki/ Lesley Saint John at Elswick Pool. These celebrity tales just keep flowing this afternoon

I’ve met Albert Stubbins. He went to my uncle’s wedding. Due to my uncle and grandad always being at the racecourse, where Albert was also regularly in attendance. He used to live round the corner from my mate when we were at school too. That’s my shit anecdote related to Sgt. Peppers

"Are you coming to bed love?" "I'll be up in a minute... *cracks knuckles*"

One of my all time most hated songs as it happens.

Fucking hate that song, me and the Mrs. used to like CDB in his Spanish Train/Crusader album days, saw him a few times, excellent musician. Then he wrote that piece of shit and became dead to us.

Just found a bunch of Smiths vinyl singled that I forgot I had. Some clear or orange see through vinyl and shit. The highest value on discogs so far is £50 odd. I can see these fuckers getting listed. Also found this, which is going nowhere:

Oh fuck, you've done it now.

Hope it’s ruined your weekend you sad mackem cunts, ….keywords will be, brown envelopes, wolves handed it to us, we’re spawny cunts, they’d beat us (yawn) not forgetting the genocide. Oh and FTM marra, they don’t exist anymore but I’ll spend every living moment obsessing over them but I don’t really care …I’d rather shag me sister/mam/auntie/dad/dog/cat/ than watch them gravy stained plastic cunts, even though I’ve just watched every minute of their match and made my knuckles bleed typing on Ready To Groom!

amazing going away in the 80s , tottenham in the fa cup 87 i think was the biggest away following i was ever in and the bloody scariest! some great days that you could never get now and you just turned up and paid at the gate!

Just tell her. She knows.

I'm Sgt Peppers owner who accidentally left it in the attic, and so's my wife.

That’s one of the true ones.

You've not heard Babyface until you've heard it by the Muppet chickens.

There's one of those for sale on Ebay for 8 grand.

7 inch: Stop me if you think you've heard this one before / Pretty girls make graves Panic / vicar in a tutu William it was really nothing / please please please let me get what I want The Boy with the thorn in his side / Asleep Last night I dreamt that somebody loved me / Rusholme Ruffians Heaven knows I'm miserable now /Suffer little children Hand in Glove / Handsome Devil Sheila Take A Bow / Is it really so strange And something called The Smiths Help I need Somebody where the name of the band on the actual vinyl is The Patels. Uh oh Morrissey, early warning signs. 12 inch: I started something I couldn't finish /pretty girls make graves / some girls are bigger than others White vinyl: Sheila take a bow / is it really so strange / sweet and tender hooligan Blue clear vinyl: There's a light that never goes out / the queen is dead Orange clear vinyl: Some girls are bigger than others / frankly Mr shankly / the draize train Clear vinyl: Cemetery gates / golden lights Still ill / reel around the fountain / please, please, please... Green tie dye looking vinyl: Shoplifters of the world unite / half a person / london

“Scotty”… pal, mate, buddy…. Let’s talk 😀

The car has a 75kwh battery. A screen uses maybe 10 watts max so you could basically run the screen for nearly a year from that battery. Maybe ask your joiner if he knows any decent sparks to explain it to you.

Still can't my head around Gerard Piqué cheating on her If she did the dirty on me I'd give her a free pass as long as she didn't fuck off and leave

There's genuinely only three songs on there I'd skip. Maybe even just two, depending on whether I'm in a Holiday Rap mood.

On the subject of our national treasure Bluey, his dad is voiced by the lead singer of 90s Brisvegas indie band, Custard.

From what Ive heard, Gemmill has only just discovered VLOOKUPS in Excel. He was disappointed it didnt mean something filthy

Always prefer a tidy Bush tbh.

It comes across fantastic on that match of the day full match coverage, you can fast forward to literally any time during the match and all you can hear is Newcastle fans singing. John Motson mentions our support many times. I also remember getting the local paper The Liverpool Echo with front page headlines "Geordie Invasion" I wish i kept it.

noise was fucking deafening, before, during and after. fucking incredible.

Fuck off baldy.