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*Camera pans around. Gordon’s face buried in a pair of mammoth top bollocks* ”brrrrr brrrrr brrrrr brrrrr. Nice one, laters babes.” *Gordon turns to the camera* ”Hiya, I’m Anthony. Follow me and see what I get up to on an average day.”

He's having to hold Howe and Mitchell apart there.

If you're stuck for cash I'll take them off you. £20 each or £10 each if Cliff Richard is going to be singing.

For the past 20 years or so I've regularly put in for the ticket ballot for Wimbledon and got the square root of fuck all back. Tried my luck again and ... well, I've had to read this one several times.

I'm just throwing this in there because....it's coming.

Aye, stupid touists should have worn Sunderland tops, and they would be giving their first born daughters over to them. "Sei di Sunderland! Una grande squadra di calcio! Ti amo! Ti do mia figlia da contaminare. Odio anche le mags!"

RTG'dYP

So, I was in the process of winding up some MAGA twats, and spelling paedo the correct way (a wind up for yanks in general never mind MAGA) and my spellcheck/predictive text thing did the below, wtf !!!

Let me know when you’re ready to go detecting

Not a single shot of him having a go on his wife’s fronties. Absolute bullshit.

The medal-winning performance:

Turns out the number of the beast is sit sit sit.

On the coach transfer to the airport coming home we were sat at the front. I felt like I would have only been half surprised if Toad and Yoshi had gone past on go karts closely followed by Donkey Kong hoying bananas at them

The best time to be alive for travel would have been the 50s and 60s. Fit air stewardesses, no mass tourism. The only problem for you would be that Domino's hotdog stuffed crust wouldn't exist yet.

Divorce number 4 coming up

You’re turning into me

wykiki is Toontastic's Brian Potter. Forget about the bike, from now on I picture him going everywhere on a mobility scooter with his beige Lord Anthony anorak on, happy with nothing and no one that he sees.

Mr ewerk to Mrs ewerk:

It knows

Who we couldn't have sold.

Too easy. I can't bring myself to do it.

Nice side line. "I say I say I say, Eddy, how do you geel about signing up Gordon?" "Guck off Gitchell you gunt"

Living your life vicariously through other random clubs, what a life. Do villa fans hate us particularly? Don't know and I don't care tbh, I dislike them as much as the next Premier league cup and genuinely dislike Birmingham. Gutted that Bobby Robson hated us mind, given he constantly showed his love for the club, right until his cancer charity match at SJP just days before his death. All the while hating us, what a scamp.

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Congratulations to Anthony Gordon on his new double ventriloquism act.

You’re the Mark Spitz to Wiki’s Michael Phelps

I’m not sure what’s more mental. Their submitting that copy or their editor going “Aye, nice work, let’s put that in the paper” also, the line: …a highly experienced dabbler…. sounds like me trying to convince myself I didn’t have a problem in the 90s

I collect those things from LTA like medals.

Found out today Ollie Olsen died last week, only 66. - https://www.theguardian.com/music/2024/oct/17/ian-ollie-olsen-death-age-66-australian-musician Name probably doesn't mean much to most of you but the film Dogs In Space had a fair old influence on me when I was a younger, under the influence musician. A lot of the songs performed in it were written and performed but never recorded by his bands and their contemporaries from the late 70s, early 80s. Some of you might remember Max Q, which was a band he formed with Michael Hutchence and a percussionist by the name of John Murphy, who I knew from bands around Sydney, CM died in 2015, so that's all three of them gone. Ollie also he wrote the only solo release Hutchence did called Rooms for the Memories. Anyway RIP OO.

Are you not getting Vesuvius mixed up with Mount Doom?

They’ve had a lush Indian summer but it fucking pissed down the first day (to the extent the 1 hour ish transfer took 3 and a bit hours) then the second day was quite wet. Last two days were nice. But it’s basically been lush for weeks before and then is the same for the long term forecast. Typical October is generally quite a wet month though I think. But I suppose if you go for a week then there’s a good chance of decent weather sone of the time. We were just there the 3 nights as the grandparents were looking after the kids and dogs. We were in the hills above Sorrento and actually a bit closer to the Amalfi coast with views both of that and also the bay of Naples. We were full board too and the food was lush. You couldn’t walk to Sorrento really but there was a regular shuttle bus. We got the train to Pompeii and had a guided tour, which was excellent. I don’t think Sorrento is ever that quiet but I would say it’s relatively so at this time of year. Plus I don’t know how people can be arsed to sightsee with the sort of Mediterranean summers that seem to be the norm now. A couple of strolls around Sorrento and the Pompeii trip was all we did. But you’ve got Ischia, Capri, Pompeii, Herculaneum, Naples, Vesuvius plus the Amalfi coast with Ravello, Positano etc that are all pretty close to Sorrento. I think the Italians are, in the main, class and a good laugh too. They’re piss-takers too, which I like, often asking ‘You speak Italian?’ At my shite attempts to ask for two coffees or whatever

FYP. I am struggling to find optimisim in this one especially given the Gloomy revelations. Up to him to redeeem himself now, has he the cajones? Has he fuck the limp southern puff. Booo!

Wife went to go see her mate last night. Her mate's recently come back from climbing Killimanjaro so went to go see her about that. ON her return to shitty Leeds too, she was involved in a car accident (shes fine) so see how she was about that. Anyways, landed at Heathrow and no luggage which she was expecting as she had two stops on the way back. She had a tracker thing in it so knew where it was and so did the airline. She flew back up to Leeds anyway and got told it would follow on. She got home. Next day went to go get some stuff, in the afternoon. Driving down the road, this bloke drove out of a pub carpark and T-bones her causing her car to be a right off. Thankfully nobody was hurt. I asked as anyone normal would; 'Was he over the limit?' Wife - 'Don't know, police didn't come' 'Oh, why?' 'Nobody was injured and the insurance are sorting it' 'Oh, but she reported it' 'No, insurance are sorting it' 'Aye, but it still needs reporting' 'Oh I don't know' Fuck me. These two are educated people. But If I had been T-boned by some cunt coming out of a pub car park I would be calling the law and getting this cunt breathalysed. I would also call 101 if not and get it logged!

I was there last month and was a bit disappointed. Naively I didn't expect it to be quite so rammed with idiot tourists. I'd imagine twenty years ago it would have been a better experience. Plus Neapolitan pizza sucks balls.

I'm thinking about going to Sorrento next October. Never been but it looks amazing in photos etc, and hoping it will be less busy at this time. Might give the Tennents Supers a miss though.

Only a term of endearment as far as I'm concerned

Tbf, I don’t think he’s been running anywhere for a good few years…

It’s everywhere in Italy. It was in the fridge alongside the smoothies in a cafe I went to in Rome. Maybe they consider it a health tonic.

Just on my way back from Sorrento. A timely reminder of how much I love Italy and the bizarre near omnipresence of Tennent’s Super I had completely forgotten about the latter. I’ve googled it before and I’ve still never really found a proper explanation Anyway, ciao

be interesting to see how this season pans out. I think it's a reasonable comparison ro make with robson in the early 00s, the 01/02 season robson finished 4th with 71 points, exactly the same as howe in 22/23. while it might seem on harsh to suggest robson's 3rd place finish with 69 points the following season was regression, I do think there was signs of a decline. howe last season retains a lot of leeway because of the injuries, but not completely mind in my opinion, because there was games where we were fucking woeful. by 03/04 under robson and despite what seemed a credible 5th place, we plummeted to 56 points, 15 below 2 seasons prior. I wouldn't like to be forced in to making any kind of substantial bet that this team on what I've witnessed this session will finish with 56 points, would you? arguably our 3 best players in isak, gordon and bruno all look well below the form we know they're capable of, why? are they pissed off we've failed to strengthen the first team in 2 windows, near enough a calender year. big 3 months coming up, and it's likely to start badly with games away to chelsea and home to arsenal, come the end of january if mitchell/the club haven't taken any significant steps to strengthening and reserving the decline in momentum, we'll be nowhere near 56 points next may. hope I'm wrong.

On that basis I'm going to have to go for a tight 1-1 win with Philippe Albert scoring six exquisite lobs.