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Fucking ecstatic!!! Wife’s been battling cancer since April. Finished chemo a couple of months back and just got the all clear today. On the drink with family. Oh happy days.

I’m a very glass half fully chap so once you get over the shock of the diagnosis, you have the hope of the “cure” chemo to look forward too, but once that is finished, you have a few weeks til the pet scan and then another 6 weeks til the result. You have to bottle most of your feelings up and stay positive for the other half, but the last 48 hours before the appointment have been hellish. What do you say to the other half if it’s terminal, what do you say to the kids etc. Glass half full went to 99% negative. Fucking glorious outcome. Not been this emotional since Mamma Mia.

This might be the longest shittest Mag on holiday anecdote yet, and the writer admits it isn't even true. Strange, strange people.

He says he lives down a dirt track. Doesn’t mention a house , which, given the level of detail he’s put in to things that didn’t happen, I can’t see him leaving that out. El Bampo.

Reading it back, the oddest bit is where he says "I still laugh at the look on his face" and in the very next sentence admits the yarn is pure fantasy. He's literally imaging an expression on someone's face and chortling about it. Needs sectioning the old fool.

The intimate knowledge of local sheep is the only thing that rings true

The first, elaborate story is made up. But the other two stories with next to no details are true. Honest

Clearly fingered that dogs arse btw in his profile pic.

Nice side line. "I say I say I say, Eddy, how do you geel about signing up Gordon?" "Guck off Gitchell you gunt"

I'm clinging on to something my main man Alex Andreou was talking about. He's been looking into the polling data and, in the US there isn't any regulation of pollsters. There's no commission or council that looks at methodologies, so anyone can put any shite out. And that's what's been happening. Trump favourable organisations pumping out polls, and pumping out multiple a week in some instances, all of which get factored into polling averages and show a tightening of the race. There is a concept of poll ratings over there, and he reckons if you look at the A+ rated ones, they all still give Harris a fairly comfortable lead. The ones that are all flooding in now giving Trump the lead have garbage ratings. The obvious incentive for these companies/Trump to do this is a) they get looked upon favourably by their weird little hero, and b) if she wins, theyll use the polls as a means of calling the result into question. I'm hoping there's something to what he's saying. If not, honestly the average American can just fuck off. Everything that bloke has done and they STILL take the "yeah but I personally might be marginally better off if he's president, so there goes my vote."

Not a single shot of him having a go on his wife’s fronties. Absolute bullshit.

Good news, CT. Treat the whole family to a Lloyd Grossman Bhuna-Ganza

Ah CT man, made up for you FUCK YOU CANCER YOU CUNT!!!

CT, have a drink, celebrate and gather the whole brood around for some great musical family fun with the Arturia MicroFreak sound system. It's hours of guaranteed fun recommended by all good stores and your twin, Gemmill.

Refuse to be told I’m common by a bloke who looks like a melted action man figure

Amazing news mate, give her all my best. If I can offer some advice, give her some time to process it all. It really can mess with your head

That has to be the most bizarre post to come from that forum, and thats quite a feat.

Trump files a legal complaint against Labour for interfering in the election because Labour Party members have been supporting Harris in the US. I presume he’ll be stopping Farage from hanging out the back of him while he’s at it then.

22 years ago today…maybe we just don’t read newspaper reports of football match anymore but this reads (brilliantly iyam) like a real period piece, written whilst the game was going on. I was actually looking for a pic of Buffon’s gloves with the Tyne Bridge on them (I’ve definitely seen a pic, anyone with time and better Google skills?? 😆) when I came across this…. https://amp.theguardian.com/football/2002/oct/24/newsstory.sport10

Living your life vicariously through other random clubs, what a life. Do villa fans hate us particularly? Don't know and I don't care tbh, I dislike them as much as the next Premier league cup and genuinely dislike Birmingham. Gutted that Bobby Robson hated us mind, given he constantly showed his love for the club, right until his cancer charity match at SJP just days before his death. All the while hating us, what a scamp.

Divorce number 4 coming up

*Camera pans around. Gordon’s face buried in a pair of mammoth top bollocks* ”brrrrr brrrrr brrrrr brrrrr. Nice one, laters babes.” *Gordon turns to the camera* ”Hiya, I’m Anthony. Follow me and see what I get up to on an average day.”

He's having to hold Howe and Mitchell apart there.

Gaan and treat yourself to 5 Blue Moons, 5 Erdingers, and 2 Dr Oetkers. You've earned it for once.

Posted from the hot tub.

Don't think much of the Max Headroom remake, tbh.

I'm afraid I don't know what to think about this after the joke post you made a couple of months back that your wife had died. So. IF. And it's a fucking HUGE IF. If this is true then I couldn't be happier for you and I hope you all have a lovely day. But if this is another joke where I'm missing the punchline, then I'm afraid the boy who cried wolf can ram it up his shit pipe!

The stuff with him talking about Arnold Palmer's knob was incredible. I'm fucking sick of listening to once serious commentators wondering aloud why Trump is treated differently to any other candidate, and then seconds later giggling away about his latest nonsense, seemingly oblivious to the answer that they're providing to their own question. I'm talking about Emily Maitlis and Jon Sopel, who talk a good game about not wanting Trump to win, but I think they secretly realise that they're down a podcast if Harris wins.

"Eyven the pasteh munchers hate the mags an'aarl, marra. Tha might look like barcodes, but tha alreyt by me."

Nice to see that Giuliani has been ordered by a judge to turn over all of his valuables to the two election workers that he defamed in the aftermath of the 2020 election. These include his New York apartment (last in the market for around 5m dollars), his classic Mercedes, and a number of very expensive watches. Obviously it's less nice that the man directing him to do all of it appears to still have a 50:50 shot at being president again, but at least that little rat Giuliani is facing some consequences.

I haven’t seen anything like the level of organised idiots in this election run-up compared to the Proud Boys and the rest of them last time. Possibly because most of them are locked up now, but I also reckon the remaining ones shit their pants when they saw the sentences being handed out. I also suspect that the homeland security agencies will have those that remain absolutely pinned down with surveillance and infiltration. Thats not to say we won’t see a bunch of Gravy Seals out with their guns again come the election, but it doesn’t feel like the level of that particular lunacy is the same?

Jesus titty christ man.

FUCKING GET I!! CHOOK CHOOK CHOOK CHOOK

Congratulations to Anthony Gordon on his new double ventriloquism act.

Is anyone watching these European superleague games? I mean, talk about fucking up an already fucked up CL concept. I watched most of the Villa v Bayern game and that's about it, I couldn't tell you who's doing what and what impact it's having? It might just be me but I'd love to know how many neutrals have just switched off from it? It's only one rung higher than the international break now for me.

Thatcher gave UK athletes the choice as to whether they went to the Moscow Olympics in 1980 (the yanks called for a boycott due to the recent invasion of Afghanistan) all apart from dear old Geoff Capes. As a serving police officer the fuckin rancid old bitch prevented him from attending or he’d lose his job. So I always felt a bit sorry for the cunt, even though ACAB, obvs

FYFYP

FYP

I was sat watching that video on my laptop tears streaming when the wife walked in It shows you what a lad he is, how he speaks on making her happy and how football at the end of the day isn't as important as stuff like making her happy. Top lad.

Just.....

Good news for Mrs CT, give her my best wishes. ( Brace yourselves lads, he posted this 30 minutes/2 pints ago… … in another 15 minutes/1 pint he’ll be riding the wave of peak drunkenness and we’ll learn about the latest hobby )

nice area of spain in fairness. wonder if the stupid cunt has even been there?

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Thank you for that Mr Hope

If you're stuck for cash I'll take them off you. £20 each or £10 each if Cliff Richard is going to be singing.

I judged the article purely on the URL and thought "chutzpah" is a new word for them. Then I remember she is a breast cancer survvior and felt a bit bad about myself. Happy now so-called Gemmill?

Turns out the number of the beast is sit sit sit.