Leaderboard

Tales From The Truck : Volume IX. One of the things they don’t teach you when you take your test is how to deal with the boredom once you’ve done the same route a few times. I’m sure you’ll all join me in congratulating myself on winning a Gold Medal at the Fart Olympics. The winning move was a Triple-Split Trump Triumvirate. One fart, which, on its route to freedom, splits in to three, one each going either side of your nut sack, one going direct up the middle of the bag. Done three consecutive times. I’m absolutely delighted. I even topped it off with a Quad-split, which is as above but with an extra gufflet heading up the back groove. Outstanding. Sadly, since I’ve just dropped the kids off at the pool, the tank is empty and no more Arse Athletics are likely for the remainder of my run. The hours just fly by.

Well… wait till you see who’s replacing him..

Could be canny. I'll draft you something for a cut.

Fail. I believe what you're officially supposed to do is put a brick on the gas, put your feet up on the dash, and watch netflix on your tablet. Unless it's really misty, in which case you should also be sending text messages as you do this. 👍

Shit, hope you feel better soon. Good you got over the swine flu.

I reckon the council could’ve saved a fortune on the demolition of that tower block in Walker this weekend. Just give HMHM a curry and a night on the piss and he’d have it flattened next morning.

I just typed this in my family WhatsApp group and my mother is now asking me why she has looked at falconry. I don't know why but it has really made me laugh.

Maybe you would get a better response if you didn't put the last bit on

This unfortunately. Don't judge Americans by our own standards, it is a vastly different country becoming less and less secular and liberal.

Well as a gaffer who has to send those emails, just fucking do what you were asked the first time and you will stop getting reminders!

Bloke sent me an email at 17:08 on Friday and then sent a Teams message ar 07:08 this morning aisling if I'd read his email. Well yes cunt I did, but I'm now going to ignore it for at least a day - if you're lucky.

Delighted to see that he's getting lumped in with the paedos.

odds on osula getting more than 5 minutes? zero.

Some cracking draws Arsenal v Man Utd Man City v Salford Leeds v Harrogate Liverpool v Accrington Stanley Tamworth v Spurs Newcastle v Bromley

It does seem like it. Appointing a bunch of grifting lunatics into positions of highest power and getting them to implement introducing near suicidal economic policies. We're going to see how far "common sense" gets you compared with using experts. As scaramucci says, it's like getting one of us arm chair pundits from toontastic to manage NUFC. I mean, fair enough if it was me, we'd be dead certs for the PL again, but imagine if one of you fucking no hopers was given the gig? We'd be beneath the mackems in 2 seasons.

Brian Deane went there too and Damian Hirst. Apparently Jack Higgins who wrote The Eagle has landed was a teacher there

Imagine Batty’s old teacher knowing Peter Withe. What are the chances?

Fair play, he'll fit in well there.

Trump pardoned his son in laws father Charles Kushner who was jailed for this At the weeekend Trump appointed Kushner as his ambassador to France

As Wykiki was recovering and a nurse asked if he’d like some toast. W- “ ‘appen a would, aye.” N- “ Hiw do you like it?” W- “ Wi’ jamon. “

Whilst I fully agree with what you’re saying above, I think ‘Murica is way beyond that stage of play.

Ive just been diagnosed with Gammon Flu. I originally had Swine flu, but I went to hospital and they cured me

HMHM shared it in another thread I didn’t just search this out

Tallest dwarf in the circus.

I’ll admit that I like to go through the archives on occasion but WTF?

Fury looks well mind.

Let's see if this tracks for him...

You can hear some people coughing towards the end of the clip. They'll never get that dust out of their lungs.

Can't believe nobody so far has mentioned the cultural event of the year so far, the demolition of Hexham House in Walker. The wife mentioned it but we forgot about it till we were sitting having a cuppa in the house and heard a big explosion in the distance. The crowd.

You seen the team sheet like, Breadstick?

FUCK OFF YOU CUNTS. That is all. I mean, I'm chronologically 3 or so years older than Gemmill but follicularly and groovily easily a decade younger.

BTW if anyone on here feels they're not on top of their money, I can strongly recommend using YNAB. I've used it for years and years now and every time I drift away from it my money situation goes very quickly to shit. It's an unbelievable tool to get your shit handled with your money.

He doesn’t need an excuse. It’s common practice anyway for outgoing presidents to pardon dodgy fuckers. Agree it’s bad crack though

Let's not call this a slippery slope, that's still a fallacy. Let's call it for what it is, outright corruption. In America, the land of the free, clearly not all people are equal in the eyes of the law. Doesn't matter who abuses power in this way, it's wrong. And just like that, the democrats have given away any moral authority they might have had and accelerated the unravelling of their deomocracy. There is no hope when both sides are corrupt.

Aye he was being made an example of to get to his dad. He seems like a right fucking idiot.

If the Premier League were somehow the UK government they’d have a law in place to prevent this by tea time on Tuesday https://archive.is/5JaoM

Burn and Schar are doing alright at the minute, but I also think we shouldn't kid ourselves that they remotely compare to other central defensive pairings at the upper ends of the division. We're getting by at the minute but it's not gonna last. Central defence is another key part of the squad where big investment is needed.