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Wykiki, on holiday 2028.

The Ballad of Wykiki "But where do you go to my loveleh? When you're with that Callum int' bed Tell me t' thoughts that surround you I want to look inside your head, yes i do. I remember the back streets of Leeds Two young tykes begging in't rags Both touched with burning ambition To shake off their lowly-borne tags, they try So look in thy face Marie-Claire And remember just who you are Then go and forget me forever But I know you still bear the scar, deep inside, yes you do I know where you go to my loveleh When you're with that Callum in us bed I know the thoughts that surround you 'Cause I can look inside your head."

You really have missed your vocation in life Well, you probably walked out of it

Given his history with Everton we want to keep him as far away as fucking possible from the middle east tbh.

Bravely said and true. In reality we know next to nothing about their circumstances and frankly all the drama really does seem to be about ASM/Gordon. I mean that's a really narrow line of fire for a supposed wum. Still do feel LTA could -also- rise above it though - would be nice if we could get back to just banter style comments even if we do disagree. Once this one is sorted Gemmill, why don't you have a crack at the middle east?

Our everlasting respect and admiration.

you’ve really put your balls on the line here.

Change Chamonix for St Moritz, turn Wayne Rooney into The Aga Khan, your mate can be Sacha Distel and Marie Claire becomes Colleen Rooney and maybe chuck in Marlene Dietrich and you have the lyrics to a potential song. Did he he have a laugh with Wayne and Colleen and go 'ha ha ha ha, ha ha ha ha' by any chance?

Mate of mine is boarding in Chamonix at the moment/ Yesterday he's on the lift with this scouse bloke and said he's having a laugh. They both do the same run down and get on the same lift again. This happens a few times through the day. Last night they go get some food and then have a beer and this scousers comes up to him and asks if he was the one on the lift. My mate said aye and he has a chat with him. Scouser asks if he wants a pint, my mate said he's in round but thanks. Mate takes the round back to the table and his mates all look stunned. Mate asks whats wrong with em. 'Look at you best mates with Wayne Rooney' My mate doesn't follow football so didn't have a clue Said they had more chats with him and Colleen and said they were both really nice and down to earth.

who the fuck is this cunt?

Fuck off

Renton is well into is AI now.

Put £5 on Barcelona who were down 3-1 at half time. Only got 9/2, but still, knowing how fucking bent the officials are when it comes to Barcelona I knew it was easy money.

Thought it was going to end with his wallet going missing.

Classic Yorkshireman turning down a drink from a multimillionaire cos "I'm already in t'round, fella."

Fucking hell you wouldn't want to get hit by Rooney coming down the slopes.

Maybe, its supposedly a 50 million bid though which is a lot to replace your backup winger when you'd think that could buy a first 11 upgrade in one of our other spots. I know its about what players are available at the time etc. but we can't just keep buying left wingers 'cause decent ones are on sale.

And how Claudia Winkelman sees everything.

A private jet has about twenty minutes of fuel left before it's about to crash, there's four passengers on board the stricken aircraft but only three parachutes. The passengers discuss their options but realise one of them is going to miss out on safety. The first passenger doesn't mess around, he says, 'I'm Cristiano Ronaldo, I have millions of fans all around the world who would miss me if I die.' So with that he grabs the first chute and jumps out. No sooner than he does that the next man says, 'I'm President Trump, the greatest and smartest president in the history of the United States of America, my people couldn't live if their president died.' He then grabs the second chute and jumps out. The third person is Kevin Keegan and the last person is a young lad. Keegan says to the boy, 'I've lived most of my life, son, you've got yours ahead of you, you take the last chute and make the most of your life.' The kid then says, 'Its alright King Kev, there's parachutes for us both, the greatest and smartest president in the history of the United States of America took my satchel instead.'

1 millionth post AND it's about us signing a dribbler. Honestly, I know you're only young, but the rest of your life might all be downhill from here.

I have heard MAGA a lot on the wireless and it wasn't until I saw it here that it was an acronym

Insane narcisisstic psychopath bully with the emotional intelligence of a toddler. I'm definitely boycotting the US like. Canny easy choice in all fairness as the wife is terrified of long haul flights and the cost of visiting the US is now insane. Two decades ago you went there and could live like a prince, now, not so much. That's before I take into consideration that I'd be looking at the people around me trying to work out if they were a MAGA cunt or not.

Obviously if it was Wykiki who was there the back streets of Naples would become the back streets of Leeds.

Chamonix a centre for the ancient pastime of granny shagging then?

Middle of a heatwave here - been high 30's for last few days.

Time for the Fish to hop in the Time Machine and make that one final sale.

Don’t think liverpool are all that, city will hit form. Even if they don’t they will close the gap, then break some more rules and have a stellar team next season. Enjoy the premier league, its a level playing field for everyone.

The wife and I had a massive row about whose turn it was to do the laundry. I finally threw in the towel.

Huge if true.

If it was -40c it would also be -40f. But it isn’t, so it’s not

'APPEN

i'm going to make a bold prediction: we're signing no cunt

Reminds me of walking through the kitchen trying to pinch some food on a Sunday while my mam was cooking the Sunday dinner and listening to 'Saviles travels' or Alan Freeman's golden oldie shows on the radio.

I actually quite like that song. the wife thinks it's as creepy as fuck.

Stick a jumper on, you soft poof.

People across the world want change because on the whole they are being screwed. Biden got in because enough people were revolted by Trump, but then failed to prosecute him and put him in prison like he should have done. No surprise that plenty of average Americans failed to believe he was that dangerous when the previous admin did nothing to him I fear for Labour, they need to be radical or they will fail. If they continue on their way on incremental decline and austerity light then it will be no surprise if Reform win next time The whole Labour Admin is being fundamentally dishonest over Europe, and its undermining them and the whole country. And don't give me the shit about the media not allowing it, the media are already full in on howling outrage at every turn

How we see Claudia Winkelman...... How Wykiki sees her.....

Kelly staying then? For a skint club we turn down a lot of offers for our bench warmers

This is the kind of first post I can support. Zero fucks given. No hellos or nowt.

Durrrrrr GK Obvs

My mate had Tyler Adams and Joelinton both to get booked on Saturday….there wasn’t an option for “in the same incident!!! 🤯” after their disallowed goal we all put a tenner on a Kluivert hatrick at 8-1 😎

1500 "hostages" released, some who are guilty of extremely violent crimes against law officers. Babbling on about Panama again... What a country. Led willingly by an omnipotent man child. Nobody will say nowt no matter how insane he gets. Somebody said it's like the Simpson tree house of horror episode where Bart gets a power to do whatever he likes, turn you into a slug etc, and all the family are sycophantically terrified of him. That's it basically. If only that bullet hadn't missed his melon.

One for the Gemmill v Renton debate.

Odd. This is what my ChatGPT came up with for you. Gave you too much hair like.