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‘Right, this Yorkshire lass is a right squirter, hence the need for the goggles. Now I want you to dive right in there and give it your best and for fucks sake don’t rule yourself out for the next eight weeks with a tongue injury like Callum did.’

It's Saturday arvo in the AU. Perfect time to continue with the bogan juice.

Aye, there’s also a couple of desirable free transfers floating about and I presume the desperation in clearing the deadwood and squad fillers is with an eye on freeing wages up for a potential move for Johnathan David or similar. It’s a calculated risk to sell and not replace this month but there’s only about 15 league games left, at most 2 LC games (touch wood) and a maximum of 5 FA Cup games, 3 of which are on designated weekends IIRC. And we’ll probably not go all the way so let’s say 2/3 more at most (though Birmingham away could easily dump us). We can get through that with a relatively small squad by managing fitness. Barnes isn’t a long term absentee and you’d love to think Wilson can hold up until May. Botman and Krafth are now back in the backline and you have Miley, Longstaff and Willock who can step into the middle when needed. I can see why Howe and Mitchell are choosing to wait. An injury to Isak or Tonali probably torpedoes everything but it will anyway, regardless of if we sign anybody this month

If he wins a league title then god help the rest of us.

Gloomy in the style of the fish; "The fuck did I do?"

Valentine's mugs? "I'd rather be drinking from the furry cup" would be a big seller.

"Ok Sandy, when you dive in head towards the bottom and you'll come to what looks like a dead end but dive a bit more and there's an underwater tunnel, swim through the tunnel till you see a light above then head up to a small room, come out of the water and you'll see a lever, approach it head on then pull it down, this will then open the door that is locked, you'll have just enough time to go back the way you came before getting out the pool and jump through the now opened door before it slams shut. When you get through the door you'll be on the next level. You can do it, Sandy!"

I would hope that as part of building on Leazes Park they then turn the SJP footprint into a new green space.

They extended it by three days to give Mitchell a fighting chance.

Good luck to Miggy. Some of the stick he’s been getting in the past year or so is absolutely embarrassing for someone who has been a pretty key part of the recent good times. Anyone who works as hard as he did for the team should be thought of fondly, no matter how frustrating he could be in the moment. He even went along with playing as a central midfielder under Bruce and was still sort of smiling. Can’t knock that level of commitment to the cause

Put down the BOGAN JUICE and go to BED.

I’d say we’ve been the better side, no saves for Dubs as far as I can remember. Would be nice to get a second and grab control to make the subs with Wednesday in mind

Overwhelmed with joy to see trendy Brighton with their FM regen players get tonked. They pull this shit every year. Good start and then total relegation form after Christmas

".....and with their latest release, here's 'anthropomorphic rhinoceros' with 'Ray Stubbs final score'. Take it away."

Quite an unedifying end to Henderson’s career. I had a lot of time for him as a player but he’s pissed on his chips in terms of the moral role model image he tried to project before going to Saudi Arabia. And the mackems have disowned him. So it’s not all bad news for him

Stitched up absolutely but we've also been terrible.

Far too open, too many misplaced passes. Arsenal would and will punish this nonsense

Also, you can add that Tonali strike to Nobby at the San Siro, Vuckic at home to West Brom and Tiote against Man City to the best NUFC goals that never were. What a fucking strike. The fact he’ll even attempt that means he does it in training and he WILL pull it off eventually

Joe Ellington's cousin.

Me every time big Joe hits a shot too high.

"Ok Sandro, when you locate Roy Keane's arsehole you need to dive in till you locate Louise Taylor's feet, when you find them pull her back out via his rusty sheriff's badge, you might feel a bit resistance at the end when she clings on for dear life with her tongue. Buona fortuna, comandante!"

"You're gonna be a greasy, fast, Italian monster! You're gonna eat lightning! You're gonna crap thunder! We'll have to put you in a cage, kid."

Move it to Stone Henge would be best for you, looking at that top of yours.

move it to monmouth I think.

“ I know this is the first time without your armbands, Sandra, but if you can do one length without touching the sides I’ll treat you to a breakfast at ‘Cucchiaio Di Tempos’ on the High St, I know it’s your favourite “

Nope. It was in Bidens power to ensure justice was served. He didn't and here we are

He's literally the antithesis of someone who believed in Brexit, but was happy to destroy the country in order to get personal power. At least morons like Bill Cash believed in it. It's like we are back in victoriana times with this amount of gaslighting.

Well she’s not exactly unattractive maybe 6.5-7 with a following wind?… She’s currently the best writer on Trump and his sins, methods and motivations. She frames him as a gangster when most media outlets point blank refuse to despite the overwhelming evidence as to that being the case. She’s also skewered Biden for his part in the Jan 6 failure, which he did mainly because it would’ve brought the entire edifice of US democracy crumbling down around his ears on his watch including hundreds of corrupt elected officials and representatives of his own party. The FBI were largely only interested in stopping that from happening too, but we can see this morning that those as much as providing paper clips for any Trump investigation is now toast. Her invites on to the likes of MSNBC where she was a regular contributor dried up to once she started to point this out because MSM are all fuckin complicit in it too.. Anyway, have a great Saturday folks

You’d be lost without both me and her. You might as well just admit it

He's obviously quite enjoyed paying no tax as well, so wants to end his career at another tax haven. The gormless rat.

🚨🚨🚨KENDZIOR KLAXON🚨🚨🚨

Upwards of £100 million I reckon. Minimum…

At least £101 Million ??

That's quite a range.

And a bit more.

Man City being shit all season and knocking Madrid out would be pretty funny

I fucking hate football

He can't believe @thebrokendollisn't in the Gallowgate end.

Vegan pastie eating beardy sleeve-tattooed hipster cunts

If it is a new ground then on the bright side and assuming the council is helpful, if it goes to the government all we have to do is sprinkle the application with the word "growth" and Reeves will force whoever's notionally responsible to okay it in nanoseconds.

If we could rebuild on SJP I’d do that but there’s nowhere to play while the work is carried out so it has to be a new ground on Leazes park. If it’s done right it could be transformative. A tarted up SJP isn’t going to the deliver enough additional normal or commercial seats

sweet hire

That story is from fucking ages ago anyway. Does she think she has a scoop on Eddie spying on Marco Silva, and this was her Woodward and Bernstein way of hipping him to the news that the net is closing.