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My money is on that Parisian who was seen loitering near their home, the police think it may be a French connection.

It’s like an 80s Hollywood cop/buddy movie gone wrong (Tyne and Wear) Metro Goldtooth Slayer brings you… NOSTRADAMUS AND THE NARK Matthew Broderick is the preppy, smart arsed consistently and vehemently incorrect detective Nostradamus Jack Palance is the hard bitten bent retired cop known as “the nark” who now just grasses anyone up from his trashy trailer park home, utterly without principle… Not sure of the plot yet, am getting @Howmanheyman in as writer

Ah I see Meldrew has joined forces with the swasticar driving veggie. Misery and lettuce, how daunting.

Newsflash: Jacob Murphy still isn’t good enough to start at RW for a team with CL aspirations. He’s been awful the last few games now his Miggy style purple patch has fizzled out and our unfancied young reserve CF is now seemingly our second choice in that position. Barnes did a good impression of the invisible man when he played there against Forest. Schar’s drop over the last few weeks has been alarming. He’s been immense since the takeover but maybe age is catching up with him. This is the problem when the squad isn’t refreshed window after window - it grows out and it grows stale. The whole squad is a reminder of that tbh - we still starting Murphy, Schar and (until recently) Longstaff. Love these lads and I’d love them to sign off with a trophy but they’re Mike Ashley era players.

The dog was terminally ill and organised the whole thing.

Mbeumo KLAXON! You've summoned the Toontastic Lollipop Guild now.

Is that at Gateshead Stadium or something?

Imagine finding out someone has been questioning your ability and slagging you off to strangers at the golf club. Then imagine finding out that the person was Sean Longstaff

Aye, didn't want to risk inputting the real thing on this PC. Anyway, cheer up tbd, your knight in white armour has arrived. (Yes, I am bored).

So I finally got round to spending hours - ahem - creating this picture for tbd.

On my way

this is bordering on cruelty here mind... gloom absolutely ripping nostradamus and the nark new ones.

Morning all - 1st post on here. Was always going to be a struggle to get something out of this game with the current form that the Dippers are in. Still disappointing to see us needlessly coughing up possession & making some bad decisions. I’m a big Tonali fan - but that was the worst shift I’ve seen him put in for us. Trying to look at positives, young Lewis Hall looked assured & can be personally pleased with his performance. Onwards & upwards - bring on Brighton! 😵🥊

Looks like Nostradamus and The Nark have busted an entire paedophile ring here.

Dubs…

I have been spot on with my votes since I realised it could be seen 😂

nice avatar

He was absolutely immense in Mississippi burning. RIP

yes but if you think that will stop a group of middle aged blokes getting back into another round of “I was right, you were wrong”, think again

Aye, I've had enough of the know nowts on message boards pretending that Schar could go on at that level for another couple of years.

Playing the runaway leaders on their patch with 3 of our key spine of the team missing. On the face of it, it could have been a lot worse. And for all the TNT jizzfest over Salah, Hall had him in his back pocket all night long! His performance was massively overlooked by the pro-Liverpool commentary. Never expected us to get anything there - on the plus side Man City & Liverpool away are now behind us. Focus on the rest of the season.

You’re welcome. You needed a refresher after posting about our centre back issues like you’d scored a point

Thanks for that breaking news about Jacob Murphy. That's the first I've heard of it.

Pace is huge. I get the point that our recent lapses haven't necessarily been directly related to pace, but some of the trouble we have would just never arise if we had pace at the heart of the defence. Anyway, Howe clearly knows this given what happened last summer. I think we'll fix it during Mitch's Heatwave this summer.

Toonpack, arrest these paedophiles.

Even if he's technically still a better player, Dubravka was in good enough form to justify retaining his place IMO. It feels as though the games were just a sweetener to get him to sign a new contract and in doing so we've probably fucked him out of getting a hefty pay day in the middle east. As soon as they announced he'd signed he's been dropped for Pope.

I used to agree. Pope was much better than Dubs last season and his poor kicking was less of an issue because he was confidently charging off his line and sweeping up - our whole defence seemed to drop off when Dubs came back in because he was rooted to his line and this massive hole appeared between our midfield and back four. This season it has hasn’t been the case. We have played our best football with Dubs in goal partially because his much improved distribution helped us retain possession. His shot stopping has improved too. He didn’t do much wrong before he was dropped.

Uncanny likeness of both tbh.

Haven’t even see the goals from last night tbh, been busy. Pope should play, he’s the better goalkeeper overall imo. He’s not in good form which is different, he will only get into good form by playing. Honestly think the recent performances from the whole team are down to tiredness and lack of options. Our first team can give anyone a game when they play well, but due to injuries, inability to spend and lack of quality in squad players, the majority of our first team have played most games.

the premier league can always find the worst solution to every problem. How the fuck do they think they can get away with basically giving Man City and Chelsea a pre-sale on summer transfers, and lock out the rest of the division? It basically turns the rest of the league into the equivalent of low-life pot 6 dross.

This dredging up posts from the past shit is apparently all the rage Some Democrat political analyst said yesterday Trump won’t last 30 more days. I think he’s right but it might take a bit longer to properly unravel. If there are moves to remove him look out for the Jan 6 brigade to start mobilising. I honestly think that is the end game…

Above mine too - let this stand as an example of…

Is that any good? I've seen the first two with Jennifer Love Hugetits.

Listen, some of these lads know better than the manager and the DoF. I don't suppose it's occurred to them that JUST MAYBE, our very experienced manager could see the signs in Schar last year, and that's why he was so set on Guehi, while they were demanding a RW.

And even now, he's STILL not our biggest problem. But the RW zealots won't be told.

I had. It's the more pressing need. Murphy has been fucking great for most of this season. Schar has absolutely not.

Maybe the negative (shite form) x a negative (Scotty starts the thread) will equal a positive. You just know if we win he's going to make an AI source video of gold statues of himself and Trump on tha Gaza "holiday" strip.

Aye we called it wykiki. Schar and Burn are great lads, but they're way the wrong side of 30 and we need proper athletes in those positions. Imagine what it would be like to have a centre back with pace ffs. Meanwhile RW is the least of our problems in comparison.

How many saying we didn't need a CB are saying how Schar is shite and Burn looks fucked?

That's us out of the FA cup, shame the double would have been nice.

Everyone I've seen comment on Miley thinks Tonali was dropped for him at the weekend too. Rather than Tonali only making the bench through injury.