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Sweeeeet Arab hoop Saudis always taste so good

The ballad of @ToonfulAl 🎶 Woooaah, I just died on this site tonight It must've been something I wrote I just died on your site tonight I keep looking for something I can't get I hear laughing all around me And I don't see an easy way to get out of this My post it sits in a shit all time table The curtains are closed, the cats in the cradle Who would've thought that a boy like me could come to this? Woooaah, I just died on this site tonight It must've been something I wrote I just died on your site tonight Oh I, I just died on your site tonight It must have been something you said I just died on your site tonight... 🎵 There you go, mate. That song has been gaining momentum in my mind for a good 120 seconds, based on cutting crew's 80s hit which I'm going to guess was a bit before your time? I'm going to be singing it in my head at 13.30 today then forgetting all about it. You can join in if you want?

If you need any photoshop stuff done, HMHM is the resident expert.

I was round a mates for the last ever derby at roker, (first of many I'd miss due to no away fans and no ST), we had a few cans, celebrated the win and phoned a few Sunderland numbers including the windmill, asked to speak to Leslie, the voice asked 'Leslie who?' we started singing 'leslie! Leslie Ferdinand!' That's the the first time I've ever mentioned that anecdote which shows how mind blowingly bang average it was. GERRIN!!!

Send the women ones here and I’ll sort for you

Give it ( peace in our)time…

"But now I... ....got eviscerated by a bunch of strangers on the internet Do do do do"

Reports today that the US are trying to dictate to us on free speech in order to get a free trade agreement. They're apparently "monitoring carefully" the case of some anti abortion protester in Dorset who is being prosecuted, and holding this over us in discussions. We should walk away and make a big fucking show of it when we do it as well. This lot are absolutely taking the piss. Meanwhile the bastion of free speech, the US is snatching people up off the street and disappearing them for writing articles critical of Israel. People critical of Trump are being turned away at Customs.

Keith went missing for a while after this gem on cup final day.

Not him but his opinion on our players is absolutely laughable.

This tragic Keith moderator. Seems obsessed with licking arses. Not very hygienic. Here's a small taste.

this welcome is known as the full toontastic. sorry andrew

Desperately trying not to post an appropriate gif

I was, briefly, between the M18 and A19 this morning. Mine is the one with “ Help” scrawled in blood on the side window.

The momentum:

He's like some psycho crowd detective. Am confused though, on the one hand we've gone massively OTT on the celebrations but on the other apparently it's tragic we may have less fans than watched Elton John on the pyramid stage? Oh and it was tragic we had a parade for losing in 99, but not when they lost in 92 cos they were second division wibble. And anyways, in 73 they got a well documented 750,000 turnout, three times the size of the town's population. We know this because Sporty is on the case examining the sepia photographs.

"Some I know"

The fucking stupid cunts liking and laughing at his patter btw. Anyway tell him we've got a new song. To the tune of Sweet Caroline.

To the tune of Sweet Caroline?

it's not really what's pissing me off though, i can tolerate going on.a website and seeing adverts for a pair of trainers I fleetingly looked at a couple of weeks earlier, it's a mild intrusion on your privacy. what fucks me off is that they're treating people who are going to a football match like some deranged cunt trying to sneak in to a world leaders summit with a suicide belt on. why the fuck do they need all the photo id shite at a football ground? what the fuck difference does it make to them if bobby from barnstaple can't use his ticket at the last minute so he let's his nephew billy from the borders use it for nowt? and why the fuck should billy get a stadium ban for 3 years and bobby lose his season ticket? who the fuck's driving this shit and why?

We should send Isak on loan to a championship club. Because a half decent run of games there seems to add about £20m to a player’s value

I even tried replacing certain words in the lad’s song with “arse”, but it was still shite.

Have some respect, isn't it obvious he died (from embarrassment) just as he was finishing his song.

I want to know why the last line just stops unfinished. Is this the point when this lad realises nobody is singing with him and just sits down and gets his phone out?

I thought you wrote a great piece on your blog after the cup final which I meant to link to on here but forgot: https://payaso-de-mierda.blogspot.com/2025/03/the-impossible-dream.html?m=1

The fucking state of the shit made up anecdotes in here btw: https://www.readytogo.net/smb/threads/worst-thing-trick-ever-played-on-a-newcastle-fan.1652349/

PSR optional for Chelsea

Excellent. Must be enjoying the fact we're outperforming his lady's team at last eh? You know, I never expected to live beyond my mid 40s so it is such a bonus to wake up each morning and realise I've still got a chance to fall out with even more people... or to make amends with others. Been for a meal with a pal from University (he graduated 84 and me in 86) for a bite to eat in Panni's and a couple of pints in Wobbly Duck. Now just relaxing with a late large malt while listening to a Soft Machine live set from 69. All is good.

Just watched most of the club’s near three hour long YT coverage of the parade & the Town Moor show…. can anyone tell me which BBC channel Bruno was swearing live all over? Not bbc1/2? 🤔 Anyway, we didn’t go up the TM, mostly because I was bursting for a piss so we darted into the Wunderbar in the Gate…not somewhere I’d usually frequent but am sure you’ll agree it was a most fortunate diversion A lass definitely young enough to be my daughter turned to me at the bar and said “how long have you been waiting for a day like this?”…. I said “dunno, forty odd years…” Her: “wow! Do you want a shot of tequila??” me: “YES I FUCKIN DO!” So against my naturally shy and retiring persona I recorded the moment for posterity… (Not sure if my scarf/Russian sable hat combo was a bit overkill? 🤔 😆✊🏻) Oh and obviously this bet came in too, shared amongst 10 of us who got soaked in Birmingham Drove up early Saturday, met the lads at our mate’s pub in Gateshead to get weighed in and the Birtley Bastard who’d put the bet on greeted us this Landlord changed it up for notes, spent most of it on the day, no regrets ✊🏻

John Cooper Clarke?

The UK needs to retaliate. I don't know whether it will have any impact, but the more we let the prick do it to us without any response, the weaker we look. Fuck the US off entirely, retaliate to his tariffs, sort a trade deal with Europe and forget about getting a trade deal from Trump, cos it isn't going to happen.

Hooters has gone... bust? Are we sure that's not an April Fool's?

I got to the point where you told me you stopped watching and stopped reading.

Exile - who seems to have disappeared. Probably under his bed with his hands over his ears chanting "The Saudis walked away..."

Was it him or exile who was as good a player as Bruno?

it's called data harvesting

New contract for Schar. Fair enough, I'd say. We still need to strengthen but he can do a job.

Cheers, on the flip side if it is long Covid, it means i finally have 5G Managed to get an appointment at the doc, thich was less likely than Southampton staying up!

No drive at all, but unfortunately that menu is way too adventurous for some of the family. Put it this way, a Margherita Pizza is too "spicy" for one of the sisters.

I'm grand mate. Turned 60 last August and enjoying the autumn of my days. Hope you and the brother are well. Please accept belated condolences for your mam xx

Only just learned from a teacher that my eldest went to school in her Newcastle shirt the day after the final. No fewm due to the lack of mlfs though.

Hope you get sorted, or at least get a diagnosis. It's bollocks when your health let's you down.

Fuck the scabs. Fuck the beige Fuck the morally superior Croydon cunts. Fuck the Mackems' mates.