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Bone spurs is an acceptable excuse according to a certain US president.

Well if he scored five he must have scored two on the way to getting to that total

This is Trump's real entry to the big league. I genuinely think this emboldens him and he'll soon land troops on Greenland. Iraq will incur a refugee crisis upon its neighbours and Western Europe the likes of which we'll have never seen before... don't have kids but I feel very sorry for all yours ..

I wonder when my draft letter will be showing up. I also wonder how easy it is to fake a disability to get out of it.

Thank god you've bumped this thread, perhaps people can piss themselves about the transfer window and whatnot in here instead

Uh oh, Wykiki is riled again.... "So I decided to treat t'missus, Brenda, to a fancy night away. You know, break the routine. So I booked us into this swanky hotel, cost me a princely £360 for one night! Three hundred and sixty quid! I nearly had a heart attack just typing in me card details. Brenda, mind, she was buzzing, all excited about the 'luxury experience,' as she called it. I was just hoping they had decent tea bags, not them flimsy ones that tear as soon as you look at 'em. T'room was grand, I'll give 'em that. Plush carpets, a bed you could get lost in, and even tiny bottles of shampoo that smelled like a French perfume shop. We had a decent enough evening, even if I felt a bit out of place even in me best trousers. Come morning, we head down for breakfast. Now, I'm a full English man, me. Bacon, sausages, black pudding, the lot. You can keep your English tapas muck Fish. Brenda, though, she gets all high and mighty. "Oh, I'll just have a latte, darling," she says, all prim and proper to the waitress. I just grunted, thinking, 'it's just a coffee, Brenda, not a royal decree.' We finished up, and I was just about to head off to find me car when the waitress comes over with a little slip of paper. "Your invoice, sir," she says, all smiles. I took it, thinking it was just a confirmation of the room, you know. Then I saw it. Right there, staring me in the face, plain as day: "Latte: £4.50." Four pounds fifty pence! For a bleeding cup of milky coffee! I tell you what, me blood pressure shot up faster than Wiggins on steroids. My feathers were properly spiraling, I can tell you. I felt like I'd been mugged in broad daylight, but with a silver spoon and a polite smile. I paid it, of course, because Brenda was giving me the 'don't make a scene' look. But as soon as we were in the car, I let rip. "Four pounds fifty! For a latte! I could buy a whole sack of t'Yorkshire Tea for that! It's an absolute disgrace, Brenda, a robbery in plain sight!" Four pounds fifty though. I'll never get over it. Never. CUNTS.

A There is no doubting his quality but he hasn’t had a good season. He should be nowhere near the Player of the Year awards.

He will be safe enough if he draws a picket line and stays behind it

Invariably, long term it will produce more insurgency, Israel will never sleep at peace. And the US has destroyed whatever little credibility it had left, other nations will push for arms from China and we will all live in a much more dangerous world. Who knew arming and funding a genocidal maniac in the middle east could have resulted in this? Iran signed a deal that Trump tore up. Then they were negotiating with the US when Israel struck. Then they were negotiating with Europe when the US struck but they're the bad guys in all this supposedly. And look at the posturing from Israel and US too btw, "we've struck your nuclear facilities but now YOU must negotiate for peace or die" I mean ok This is nothing but modern colonialism and imperialism and eventually it will meet the same fate that all empires do.

Wykiki dispelling the myth that Yorkshiremen are tight by coughing up £360 for a hotel room before quickly restoring it by complaining about paying for a coffee

£35m for Quansah? Botman must be worth £75m then even crippled

Probably the most Newcastle-esque way in which to become the club with the world's richest owners. To think what the ambition was when they arrived, whilst the improvement has been stark on the field (down to Ed and his team), the off field stuff seems to be a continuation of the merry go round we've had since SJH left.

heading towards a year since eales announced he was on his way out and its all been a bit messy at the top leading up to and since then. public bickering with man utd over ashworth and compensation. staveley and her chap fucking off. psr deadline day deals last june. the complete and unmitigated waste of time shitshow in the appointment of his old mate mitchell and subsequent departure. the continuous new stadium/extension announcement seemingly cracking perpetual motion, just when you think its coming to an end it carries on. the neverending search for the site of the new £200m training ground... aka, give darsley park a new lick of paint again. an inability to increase commercial revenue with sponsorship for stadium/training ground/kit/shearer's bar/pitch lawnmower etc etc. his own replacement mitchell's replacement. howe has held it altogether.. the cup win was tremendous and long, long overdue, 70 years seemingly defying the laws of average. the league season and ultimately CL qualification? I personally thought we were very, very fortunate and not just due to ours and aston villa's last game of the season or the inclusion of an extra qualifying place. we equalled 22/23s 5 losses with the same just at home against 3 bottom half clubs and 2 just above midtable. some of our away performances, think in particular fulham, brentford, man city, villa were fucking horrendous. we looked like a team on its last legs at times i thought despite not having any midweek european games. that's not a criticism of howe or the players, more the knock on effect of 3 barren transfer windows. they've got a lot of work to do in the next couple of months, here's hoping then, because i don't think we can afford another anti climax.

Training ground altercation inbound, please and thank you! Szoboszlai: "I'm not giving my spot easily and I'm sure he knows that making it into a Premier League-winning team takes hard work" "Obviously Liverpool doesn’t spend £150M on someone just to sit on the bench, so we need to find a way to play together"

https://xcancel.com/NUFC/status/1935741869759271125

Pastel green polo shirt with it?

Some loud mouth Southern CUNT in the restaurant with fucking Raspberry Chinos on CUNT

I was told about it when I booked the place by my uncle.so I asked at reception with the quip of 'mind you I saw enough of it at Sunday school' it didn't quite hit the note I wanted it to ,😂

Some people really believe religion has no role in wars. All of this middle Eastern shit is intrinsically tied with religion. The irony being they all believe in the same OT God of Jehovah, but then like a tree it all branches out and even the religions are split into sects who inevitably hate each other. Christians, Muslims, Jews, protestants, catholics, Shia, Sunni, orthodox.... You can all get fucked.

outrageous this post hasn't had the recognition it so richly deserves.

Is there any wonder? Forest fans are going absolutely nuts at this, and rightly so. Even if it’s completely innocent don’t post a photo of you wearing another club’s shirt FFS

Gordon, Botman and Osula all commenting on Elanga's Instagram's post all of a sudden. Think thats RW sorted then.

Hall will be like a new signing through the door.

Given what has happened in the last few years, if you think Iran is more dangerous than Israel, nothing I'll say will convince you otherwise. Yes they've engaged in proxy wars and deserve criticism for it but the list of countries that have done that is long and hardly reason to believe they'd use nukes willy nilly.

I don’t think this is the trigger for world war. That hangs on Trump’s reaction to China invading Taiwan. And why wouldn’t they? The international rules-based order has collapsed. Everyone else is at it. Glad to see we’re staying out of it for now. It looks like they didn’t use Diego Garcia last night.

In a nutshell

Probably should have worn more. 😎

Good luck mate whatever you do. Moving house is a massive upheaval. Done it 5 times myself, fucked myself financially in the process through fees, moving costs and taxes. Could have all been avoided if I had pushed myself and bought the right house first or second time!

Just back from a few days in Sydney, aussie mates complaining about the cold when it hit 20 degrees one day Lovely city which I've never been to before, great food start to finish.

Tino through to the Euros semi finals with the U21s. He also managed to spark a 22 man brawl at the final whistle by chest bumping one of the Spain players

There’s a big incentive for clubs that aren’t hampered by PSR to get deals completed before 30 June - because they know that clubs like ours won’t be able to bid against them. Similarly, we’ll want to keep very quiet about any of our actual targets until after 1 July. Would be nice to pick up someone on the cheap (squad player / youngster) if any other clubs have PSR jitters next week, otherwise I don’t expect any movement until July. Makes this bit of the window boring for us. I’ve resorted to watching the cricket.

Leading to the dual aspect open plan living room.

I’m still feeling sanguine about the transfers. I think we’ll add depth to the positions where we’ve been linked with players - it’s no secret we’re after a RW, a RCB, a CF and a GK. possibly a midfielder too if one of Willock or Longstaff are sold. If we’re still in this position a month from now it’ll be more concerning because Howe said he wants the business done quickly. In my mind that means before pre-season. The weird mini window has probably skewed expectations. We’re still only a week into the “normal” window. Howe has earned the chance to bed the new signings in so it’ll be disappointing from the club if the signings are left to the last minute. When the new signings do land, I also expect them to be players we’ve barely been linked with rather than those that are being peddled by their agents in the media.

Well he deserves it tbh.

We were linked with Botman well before we signed him tbf. We were fighting Milan for him.

Hot Mitch summer is coming to the boil. I could barely sleep last night, fucking sweltering

Some people struggle to interpret body language , and this would be a great example to help them out. “ See all those lads in the white tops?” ” Aye” ” Every single one of them is thinking - ‘This bloke’s patter stinks as bad as his nappy, please make it stop.’ Ok?” ” Aye”

bizarre

I eventually, after all these years, get a tax refund for £1200 which probably means there'll be no UC next month. You couldn't make it up.

isak isn't even our player of the season tbh. he was brilliant in phases and we would be nowhere without his goals but for consistency across the season, it's tonali or burn.

Gemmill nailed the Hot Mitch Summer.