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Bone spurs is an acceptable excuse according to a certain US president.

Well if he scored five he must have scored two on the way to getting to that total

This is Trump's real entry to the big league. I genuinely think this emboldens him and he'll soon land troops on Greenland. Iraq will incur a refugee crisis upon its neighbours and Western Europe the likes of which we'll have never seen before... don't have kids but I feel very sorry for all yours ..

I wonder when my draft letter will be showing up. I also wonder how easy it is to fake a disability to get out of it.

Thank god you've bumped this thread, perhaps people can piss themselves about the transfer window and whatnot in here instead

Uh oh, Wykiki is riled again.... "So I decided to treat t'missus, Brenda, to a fancy night away. You know, break the routine. So I booked us into this swanky hotel, cost me a princely £360 for one night! Three hundred and sixty quid! I nearly had a heart attack just typing in me card details. Brenda, mind, she was buzzing, all excited about the 'luxury experience,' as she called it. I was just hoping they had decent tea bags, not them flimsy ones that tear as soon as you look at 'em. T'room was grand, I'll give 'em that. Plush carpets, a bed you could get lost in, and even tiny bottles of shampoo that smelled like a French perfume shop. We had a decent enough evening, even if I felt a bit out of place even in me best trousers. Come morning, we head down for breakfast. Now, I'm a full English man, me. Bacon, sausages, black pudding, the lot. You can keep your English tapas muck Fish. Brenda, though, she gets all high and mighty. "Oh, I'll just have a latte, darling," she says, all prim and proper to the waitress. I just grunted, thinking, 'it's just a coffee, Brenda, not a royal decree.' We finished up, and I was just about to head off to find me car when the waitress comes over with a little slip of paper. "Your invoice, sir," she says, all smiles. I took it, thinking it was just a confirmation of the room, you know. Then I saw it. Right there, staring me in the face, plain as day: "Latte: £4.50." Four pounds fifty pence! For a bleeding cup of milky coffee! I tell you what, me blood pressure shot up faster than Wiggins on steroids. My feathers were properly spiraling, I can tell you. I felt like I'd been mugged in broad daylight, but with a silver spoon and a polite smile. I paid it, of course, because Brenda was giving me the 'don't make a scene' look. But as soon as we were in the car, I let rip. "Four pounds fifty! For a latte! I could buy a whole sack of t'Yorkshire Tea for that! It's an absolute disgrace, Brenda, a robbery in plain sight!" Four pounds fifty though. I'll never get over it. Never. CUNTS.

A There is no doubting his quality but he hasn’t had a good season. He should be nowhere near the Player of the Year awards.

He will be safe enough if he draws a picket line and stays behind it

Invariably, long term it will produce more insurgency, Israel will never sleep at peace. And the US has destroyed whatever little credibility it had left, other nations will push for arms from China and we will all live in a much more dangerous world. Who knew arming and funding a genocidal maniac in the middle east could have resulted in this? Iran signed a deal that Trump tore up. Then they were negotiating with the US when Israel struck. Then they were negotiating with Europe when the US struck but they're the bad guys in all this supposedly. And look at the posturing from Israel and US too btw, "we've struck your nuclear facilities but now YOU must negotiate for peace or die" I mean ok This is nothing but modern colonialism and imperialism and eventually it will meet the same fate that all empires do.

Wykiki dispelling the myth that Yorkshiremen are tight by coughing up £360 for a hotel room before quickly restoring it by complaining about paying for a coffee

£35m for Quansah? Botman must be worth £75m then even crippled

Probably the most Newcastle-esque way in which to become the club with the world's richest owners. To think what the ambition was when they arrived, whilst the improvement has been stark on the field (down to Ed and his team), the off field stuff seems to be a continuation of the merry go round we've had since SJH left.

heading towards a year since eales announced he was on his way out and its all been a bit messy at the top leading up to and since then. public bickering with man utd over ashworth and compensation. staveley and her chap fucking off. psr deadline day deals last june. the complete and unmitigated waste of time shitshow in the appointment of his old mate mitchell and subsequent departure. the continuous new stadium/extension announcement seemingly cracking perpetual motion, just when you think its coming to an end it carries on. the neverending search for the site of the new £200m training ground... aka, give darsley park a new lick of paint again. an inability to increase commercial revenue with sponsorship for stadium/training ground/kit/shearer's bar/pitch lawnmower etc etc. his own replacement mitchell's replacement. howe has held it altogether.. the cup win was tremendous and long, long overdue, 70 years seemingly defying the laws of average. the league season and ultimately CL qualification? I personally thought we were very, very fortunate and not just due to ours and aston villa's last game of the season or the inclusion of an extra qualifying place. we equalled 22/23s 5 losses with the same just at home against 3 bottom half clubs and 2 just above midtable. some of our away performances, think in particular fulham, brentford, man city, villa were fucking horrendous. we looked like a team on its last legs at times i thought despite not having any midweek european games. that's not a criticism of howe or the players, more the knock on effect of 3 barren transfer windows. they've got a lot of work to do in the next couple of months, here's hoping then, because i don't think we can afford another anti climax.

Training ground altercation inbound, please and thank you! Szoboszlai: "I'm not giving my spot easily and I'm sure he knows that making it into a Premier League-winning team takes hard work" "Obviously Liverpool doesn’t spend £150M on someone just to sit on the bench, so we need to find a way to play together"

https://xcancel.com/NUFC/status/1935741869759271125

Pastel green polo shirt with it?

Some loud mouth Southern CUNT in the restaurant with fucking Raspberry Chinos on CUNT

I was told about it when I booked the place by my uncle.so I asked at reception with the quip of 'mind you I saw enough of it at Sunday school' it didn't quite hit the note I wanted it to ,😂

Some people really believe religion has no role in wars. All of this middle Eastern shit is intrinsically tied with religion. The irony being they all believe in the same OT God of Jehovah, but then like a tree it all branches out and even the religions are split into sects who inevitably hate each other. Christians, Muslims, Jews, protestants, catholics, Shia, Sunni, orthodox.... You can all get fucked.

outrageous this post hasn't had the recognition it so richly deserves.

Is there any wonder? Forest fans are going absolutely nuts at this, and rightly so. Even if it’s completely innocent don’t post a photo of you wearing another club’s shirt FFS

Gordon, Botman and Osula all commenting on Elanga's Instagram's post all of a sudden. Think thats RW sorted then.

Hall will be like a new signing through the door.

Useless BBC, spelled Sunderland wrong

Just back from a weekend in Hunstanton. Who needs pintxos in San Sebastian when you can be watching a ropey ABBA tribute band on an open-air stage in Sunny Hunny?

It is indeed, no doubts there. I'd fully support a nuclear armed Iran tbh, it's the only way they can ensure they aren't fucked with.

I’ve never been impressed but he has previously been called up to England and both Slot and Klopp seemed to rate him so there must be a player in there somewhere. They have a buy back option as well.

He scored five.

In a nutshell

Good luck mate whatever you do. Moving house is a massive upheaval. Done it 5 times myself, fucked myself financially in the process through fees, moving costs and taxes. Could have all been avoided if I had pushed myself and bought the right house first or second time!

Just back from a few days in Sydney, aussie mates complaining about the cold when it hit 20 degrees one day Lovely city which I've never been to before, great food start to finish.

There's a mini music festival currently being held at the rugby club behind our house. I was going to pop along since it's only a fiver entry but I'm absolutely cunted after a horrendous night with the lad and trip to that fucking Swedish flatpack furniture labyrinth today. Back on topic for the thread, our summer holidays might be a non-starter this year. Look like we're moving house again (for the third time in three years) instead. So I'm sat in the garden listening to the music from the rugby club trying to decide if my knees are up to the job of laying 50sq meters of laminate again or if I'm just going to phone it in and go with a mix of vinyl and carpet for the downstairs. On one hand I do think this one might actually be a great move for us in the long term and the Mrs and kids all seem genuinely excited for once, but at the same time the thought of doing this all over again in the middle of the summer holidays with four kids in tow really puts the hoor into Hooray.

Jacob Ramsey at Villa is the rumoured player we want before the PSR deadline. If they manage to shift Martinez they may not need to sell anyone else though. One of the papers said Burnley needed to make £20m before the end of June so the Trafford deal may still have legs yet

Pics or GTFO. ( have you explored the Priest’s hole, btw? I won’t tell you where it is… don’t want to spoil the fun ).

Leading to the dual aspect open plan living room.

Well he deserves it tbh.

As others have said, until 1 July we are still in the old cycle. Yes, others have spent on players Howe would like but until then we are stuck with PSR bargains. I know we could be agreeing deals now for July but even then we can't pay 250k per week which is what others are offering.

Been linked to by press who didn't know fuck all about Botman, Bruno or Sandro. Even Popes signing came out of the blue. It's all speculation probably bar Guehi who that cunt at palace leaked as he wanted a bidding war.

Hot Mitch summer is coming to the boil. I could barely sleep last night, fucking sweltering

the mackem pronunciation of practically every topic there is very funny

Some people struggle to interpret body language , and this would be a great example to help them out. “ See all those lads in the white tops?” ” Aye” ” Every single one of them is thinking - ‘This bloke’s patter stinks as bad as his nappy, please make it stop.’ Ok?” ” Aye”

How's this going to impact Sunderland attendances?