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Heard some ITK info last night. Two maybe three big deals are expected to be completed early next week. The club are just waiting on Andrew beginning the site maintenance

"Hello everyone and welcome to the transfer thread. We're expecting heavy gusts today but that's just CT's hondacrackas after McEwan's champion and a pizza duck pizza."

I've been largely ignoring this thread cos the whole situation is pissing me off - but then I saw that it got the "hot" label and thought maybe, just maybe, we were signing someone. Nope, just a weather forecast...

Lass at work asked if it really does hurt that much when you get a tattoo so I told her it depends where you get it? She said, Wallsend. Carry on, chaps.

Because it's warmer there.

Is this the spy thread? "The weather in London is five degrees warmer than Newcastle at this time of the year." "The premier league footballer, like the southern rat, may be spotted moving North but no further than the tip of the southern climate." "I shall get up in one minute, take the briefcase, in it is all the hot Mitch summer temperatures and player targets with the limits each club will not sanction a sale. This concludes the end of your DoF interview. The MLFs will self destruct a month into the new season. Good luck."

Madam Tussauds. PL footballers can’t fucking get enough of it.

they'd just sell themselves kings road. the premier league would say aye ok and then you'd never hear another thing about it.

I’m sure Arteta will handle any questions about this with his usual grace and tact

No bitch. I’m the king around these parts

Hope he doesn't mind it being 5 Deg cooler than London.

40+ new posts since I last viewed the thread this morning. Surely we must have signed someone. Ah no it's you dickheads discussing the weather.

fuck me, arguing about the weather is a new low. when does the new season start again?

Certainly does

I think you’ll find Gemmill recently saying this window wasn’t going well has been the actual catalyst for the turnaround

Craig has a proud track record of never being wrong according to Craig.

That means Leeds United have the edge over Kendal Town in the transfer stakes.

In my hotel I have so far spotted two people in Sunderland shirts and zero in Newcastle jerseys. My reaction to those in Sunderland shirts was an incredibly indifferent ‘oh that’s a Sunderland shirt’. Obviously followed by my one man guard of honour while looking down at my shoes and muttering how I hate the mags anarl.

I'd much rather we weren't rewarding Chelsea for collecting players like they're playing Pokémon. If the rest of the PL refused to buy from Chelsea for a couple of seasons, it would go some way to making them actually pay a price for their actions.

Had a quick browse of a Forest forum to read some of their crack about Elanga and wouldn’t you know it, there’s Fish in there making friends We could play a third tier Korean team and you’d be in there asking about their players

I’m surprised at that as they are usually racist cunts.

We've had a £40m bid accepted for John Kettley.

They're absolute fucking arseholes. As bad as the Mackems with Johnson. They don't renew his contract and suddenly 4 days later he's charged with this? They fucking knew, and they continued to exploit the situation in spite of it. Horrendous.

Are you all missing where it says we’ve had a £55m bid accepted for Elanga? Big Mitch leaves and suddenly we’re splashing the cash. Gemmill is more cursed that the tomb of Tutankhamun.

mad that Barcelona didn't reciprocate his stated interest.

It’s a nice dose of nostalgia for them back to when they used to spend big money under Ellis Short which resulted in those glory days of circling the PL drain like the turd that wouldn’t flush.

Tbf the mate he's talking about is Peter Sutcliffe.

His victims must have loved seeing him playing football like nowt was the matter. Arsenal are utter cunts. Everyone knew.

I’m glad I checked in. I had no idea what the weather was going to be.

Arsenal continued to play him despite knowing this was likely. Cunts.

Congratulations Dougle. You won the argument that matters

Ewerk's hotel when the guests clock the MLF and gather around for selfies and autographs.....

Centre back ✅ Young ✅ Playing abroad ✅ Eye-talian ✅

The weather is manipulated by the gov anyway.

That big M&Ms shop as well

As if it's not bad enough that she's lost her job, you're riding her husband ffs.

About half a woman’s team I‘d guess.

Should be noted that after that useless sack of fuckin shit Mitchell fucked off last week Newcastle United's transfer window has properly taken off this week Form an orderly queue to offer your acknowledgements that myself and my good friend @thebrokendoll called this virtually as soon as fuckin twat turned up and are indeed excellent judges of character and can see a cunt coming a mile off

I can’t speak for anyone else but I was motivated by boredom

Wonder how they'll comprehend being back in the Championship next season without being champions.

I doubt I’ll find it.

MDS Maxi derangement syndrome

Righto Lex Luthor.