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We’re doing sporting cliches rather than your favourite films 👍🏻

"....Next on BBC1, 'Toonpack of Dock Green', a new sitcom about a retired accountant who turns his hand to volunteering with the Special Constabulary with hilarious results."

As Dale Winton once said to the Eskimos whilst hosting a special one off Arctic edition of Supermarket Sweep, 'You have to be Inuit to win it'.

Only saw half of it, alternating with the golf, but what an anti-football bunch of cunts they are, throwing themselves to the ground at every opportunity whinging for free kicks coz they fucked up on the ball, it's an increasing trait in some teams but these take the fuckin piss. The second goal, straight out of their what can we get away with playbook, number2 (timber?) makes a run to block Pope, and Gabriel makes the run we all know is coming, I don't know what can be done in the rules about the NFL style block routines but Pope needed to be aware and avoid him and you needed the right guy(s) in the air around Gabriel, was hoping you'd stick at 1-0, never mind 1-1, then that, fuck! Who was on var for the pen turnover though? He'll be having a break next week after making a call against a pl/media red-shirt darling...

I think Thiaw / Botman was always the plan once they got established. Burn should be rotated with Botman because one has had injury problems and the other is getting on a bit. I don’t want to go back to Burn at LB. Teams learnt how to target him and he’s a fair bit older too.

Both the VAR and on field referee can initiate a review. The fact that neither did is ridiculous.

🎵 You say PSG, I say PSV I say PSV, you say PSG PSG, PSV, PSV, PSG Let's call the whole thing off 🎶

and because you need to be a hacker the level of Rui Pinto to even be granted access to your boards!!

Alex with a strong message for the otters.

BBC Scotland (TV and radio folks) Toonpack is the nice Toonpack, I'm channeling my R5 smarmy, posh, disinterested, condescending presenter/interviewer Toonpack. So R5 called asking for a chat whilst me and Mrs were out having a meal circa 7-ish night after ceremony, we'd love to talk to you about your great uncle etc. Etc. Me - I'm just having a meal could you call me at 7:45/8:00 French time (hour ahead), ok they say. Meal not finished, text received, we'll call you at 8:15 our time, so 9:15 for you on French time. Fuck me!!! Anyway phone goes 9:15 and I hear, "ok we're recording a short interview" (er what, you said a chat, which every fucker else has done BEFORE any interview) "aaaand were rolling, just say hello" !!! Reminder for everyone that my great Uncle Gordon has been dead for 110 years and we have 10 letters. Posh R5 cunt (missed his name) - what was Gordon like ? Toonpack - Sorry, what? R5 Cunt - what can you tell from the letters. Toonpack - Waffle about what his comrades wrote after he was killed. R5 cunt - who in your current family is most like Gordon ? Toonpack - really ? R5 Cunt - oh, I'm sorry, I caught you on the hop with that. Mrs could hear and she was just involved in a frenzied shaking her head/rolling her eyes combo. Fuck knows if it was broadcast, but I told the BBC Scotland lads who did the film EXACTLY what I thought of R5 smarmy cunt, that's the Toonpack you've got today.

We are seeing the result of the awful summer. I never agreed with what some said in that even with losing the rat, we ended up having a good transfer window. It's not just about the squad you end up with, it's what opportunity Howe and his coaches have had to work with that squad and get them ready for the season. He basically had no time with anyone but Elanga. That would be bad most summers, but when you're also having to replace a key member of the squad with players who have come in after you've played 3 games, you're asking for trouble. It's not like bringing in players like for like who will eventually replace the player who's still there (which is no doubt the plan with Elanga/Murphy & Thiaw/Schar) we've brought in a very different striker to the very important one we had. We are going to have to make changes and it's going to take time. It was clear from Friday's press conference that Howe was a bit pissed off that he basically hasn't had the chance to work with the players because of the summer and now the amount of games that we are having. Playing weekend/midweek/weekend just doesn't afford you the time to do the work he would want to do, especially after that summer. Injuries to Ramsey and Wissa in particular certainly aren't helping. Wissa would probably allow us to play in a way much more similar to how we did with Isak and take a lot of pressure off Waltemade (who is handling it well so far but clearly not used to physical requirements of the team and the league). I don't have any long term concerns though, we're more than capable of getting through this difficult spell and going on a five or six match winning run that jumps us up the league. But I do expect this season to be something of a transitional season. We simply can't expect be able to play in exactly the same way with the changes up front. We need to work out a way to play with the players we now have.

The first save down to his left was world class, the others were run of the mill. Didn't see the whole game just the highlights so can’t comment on his kicking. The first goal I don’t see any error from him, the second is an issue with our marking set up from the corner and an error from Pope. He should have a blocker on the player standing on his toes, but he should also be stronger and clean everything out. I think there probably will be a reckoning for him at some point this season, he’s a great old type goalkeeper 99% of the time. In that he keeps the ball out of the net most of the time and he’s very decent from crosses. He doesn’t have the modern type of technique that most keepers have and really struggles with the ball at his feet. He’s class and his story (the clubs he’s played for) is a proper graft into professional football but we need to keep the ball better.

The Ekitike of TT.

Neville was commentating on the game like it was taking place in April and the title hung on it. We’re fucking six games in. We were 12th at the start of December last year and finished 5th ffs. A kick in the arse off 4th. Things can and will change massively but Sky Sports is lowest common denominator stupidity for thick cunts so I’m not surprised

We can’t control what bids are made or what amounts those bids are from other clubs. If we went back and said he’s available then Liverpool and the player would have held all the cards. There were no other bidders so I don’t see how we’d have gotten as much as we did. Then the rat and his agent, knowing our position probably insist on the loyalty bonus too. I think it’s as fair an application of hindsight to say it might have benefited us in the short term but might’ve seen us £15-25m worse off from a PSR perspective. Wilson certainly isn’t offering some magic solution that would’ve made everything better from a NUFC perspective.

It's the VAR mobile office.

I honestly just don't agree. I think we treated Liverpool exactly how we should have done. Going back to them when he was on strike would've landed us less money because they ARE cunts, they act it top to bottom at that club. We forced their hand in the end as much as they forced ours. We got more money out of them which is crucial in the PSR world and we made it clear that it will take extraordinary money and actions to get our star players in future, a lesson to anyone looking that we're not going to be soft touches even if it hits us a bit hard short term. This start is tough, we've struggled to get the ball in the net, clearly. But our midfield and defence both look VERY good, we're creating chances and Woltemade so far has had two shots on target and scored twice, he appears to be picking up the PL very well and just needs better conditioning which he'll definitely get under Howe. With Wissa and Ramsey to come back and improve our depth and output. We've so far only lost to last seasons champions, last seasons second place and Barcelona. I know you aren't pissing yourself but some people appear to be and its just not necessary.

Totally agree. He's an absolute disaster with the ball at his feet. There was a moment yesterday where he was played the ball and there was a fairly straightforward ball up the line, and a square ball to (I think) Botman. Relatively little pressure on Pope, and he executed his trademark slice out for a throw in. We gain more than we lose by swapping him out imo. Ramsdale is a good shot stopper too and his comfort on the ball is Messi-like in comparison to Pope.

I saw that and briefly read up to the point where I thought he sounded like a dickhead. Made it to the third sentence. His assertion that we "could have taken the 125 million" is missing the crucial fact that no one bid that much until the last day or two of the window. Earlier than that the only bid was 110, which we quite rightly didn't sell him for.

I read an article by that mackem wanker Jonathan Wilson yesterday. A lot of it was his usual boring shit, fed through his mackem filter, but one thing he said which perhaps was right was that we should have just let Isak go earlier in the summer. He fucked us with his behaviour, but we've exacerbated the damage by allowing it to shape our whole summer and damage our start to the season. I wonder if there might be some truth in that. Mind, what has hurt us the most is Wissa's injury and that was no one's fault at the club.

Had to laugh when I saw an interview with Saka last night lamenting "these decisions that always seem to go against us". Made in their manager's image.

So that's Wyki with a goal and a Gemmill hat-trick? Hoping I might pick up and assist or two.

Europeans love a bit of heroic failure. Americans absolutely hate it. This is fine.

Out of order mate.

Next call will be Strictly.

BE MORE LIKE BBC TOONPACK!

When Potter got sacked on Saturday, Sky's Soccer Saturday was on live so obviously they took the opportunity to hear the thoughts of the football sage Paul Merson. The slack prick spent the entire segment referring to Nuno as "Nunez" and NOBODY put him right. There's a 12 minute YouTube video showing the segment and the silly twat hears other people calling him Nuno and STILL sticks with Nunez. Just get that idiot off the telly. He's an embarrassment.

Does that include friendlies?

PSV you fucking idiot!

I went into my local book shop and asked for a book on turtles. The assistant said: “hardback”? I said: “yeah, with little heads”

I think he is you know, but if he's counting friendlies then he can't be counting the League Cup, which would be even more stupid because counting friendlies it's 3 in 16

you sorted for Es and whizz at least?

You can be pretty sure that the ham faced buffoon would have been there on the final day if it looked like the Americans were going to win.

Is this the day when CT finally.....

It's not often a pair nowadays @Gemmill it's a three and you've got to wonder if that's part of the problem. That and fuckin vermin... We couldn't see out good positions v Liverpool and Arsenal because we're seemingly happy to defend for long periods. If Woltemade could do 90 mins (not a dig at the lad, he's going to be an excellent player but he doesn't have the physicality ATM) then his ability to hold the ball in the last 15 mins would've maybe got us over the line. The change in the defence after Tino was taken off increased pressure.too, his ability to break out and dribble the ball 20/30 yards would've been very useful in the later stages yesterday. Pope, well fuck all to say really. He's saved us and cost us. Arsenal played us off the park before our goal and in the last 1/4 though, the disallowed penalty and the goal against the run of play fucked with them but our tiring midfield let them back in . The technicalities of both "disallowed" pens are similar ie the ball hitting a player in the first instance. Gabriel is a snide French cunt though who shouldn't have been on the pitch to equalise, cannot fuckin believe that wasn't reviewed from the virgins in the van...sorry, just realised Arsenal play in red Lots to think about for Howe....

Eddie worked miracles last year, helped with one of the best strikers on the planet (vomits in my mouth). He will steady the ship again but we are 6 games in now and don’t look like much of a goal threat. I’ve got no concerns though. Just try out best and see where it gets us. We’ve been totally fucked in the summer which has bled into the season.

The forearm on Nick was a huge miss by the ref/VAR especially given that Gabriel then goes on to score the winner. For that deflection Gabriel gets to the ball ahead of Elanga however Elamga is already swinging to cross it so the ball gets knocked onto Elang's foot and the cross hits his outstretched arm. It's a reach to consider that a natural position but IMO they don't give a pen because Gabriel gets to the ball with his foot.

Probably, but maybe a bit too early for the gloomy predictions. Arsenal and Liverpool are probably both top 3 this year (along with Man city). But then who is there? Chelsea aren't great, Villa and Forest both fallen away. Can't see Spurs turning it around as much. I think there's 2 places up for grabs and I wouldn't rule us out completely just yet. We have to improve ASAP mind, especially at home.

Thankfully I had water etc and we started early when it was overcast. Spoke to someone at the hotel and they moved the public footpath last year because of a new hotel. But haven't sign posted the new one. Cunts

We don’t play these again until the end of April. We usually get better as the season goes on. Really looking forward to it after that, I hope we go there and kick fuck out of them. Especially if Tino’s injury is bad.

Also, that cunt would have had a better pre-season and, probably, wouldn't be looking like the useless cunt he is right now.

Aye before VAR he speaks to his linesman so am not sure why he can't ask for a review. Looks like Woltemade might have to learn to be a cunt along with the rest of them to get parity on decisions. Just googled it and it appears that VAR just reviewed the club badges involved as per usual...

I think not. My last glorious run was based on professional thread titles and questioning whether this game would be the last of my run. That run saw us to a league cup final, and ended with us getting shagged by Bournemouth. But the final though. So, with all due respect, get fucked

I took it from the nufc.com fixtures and ignored the word local. So take it up with them and put a fucking stupid score prediction assuming dead players to get hattricks etc, as is the way.