Jimbo

http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/mikenorrish/b...ls_at_newcastle In times like these, we should all be truly grateful for Newcastle United. America has Jon Stewart's Daily Show to provide laughter in the dark. We get Horne and Corden. So it's little wonder the country laps up the comic relief offered by Newcastle's pant-wetting pantomime. At times surreal, often slapstick, sometimes sad but forever side-splitting, Newcastle is sit-com at its best. You know what's coming, but wet yourself anyway. Much of the humour comes from the gap between delusion and reality. It's a David Brent-type deal. He sees himself as a "chilled-out entertainer", we see him as a c**k. If Brent was depressed about his weight and stifled by his job, it wouldn't be funny. But because he turns presentations into stand-up routines and goes home to fetch his guitar, it's hilarious. Same with Newcastle. If they aimed to beat Sunderland twice a year and finish in the top half, you'd find another club to laugh at. Tottenham, for example. Instead they appoint Messiahs rather than managers and act as if glorious, winning football is their birthright. You'd think after a lifetime in the gutter, you might start looking at the pavement rather than the stars. Not at Newcastle. In this season alone, we've had the the Keegan crisis, the Cockney Mafia protests, the (second) Keegan walk-out, the Sports Soccer boycott, the Venables snub, the Joe Kinnear bombshell, the Joe Kinn'ell press conference, the For Sale sign, the Nigerian hoax, Ashley's Shiekh-snubbing Dubai trip, Charles Insomnia, the Ashley mea culpa and now the firefighting hero strutting in to save the day. That's approaching a lethal dose of giggling in just a few short months. I'm not claiming Shearer won't succeed in keeping Newcastle afloat. He probably will. But what then? Will Ashley bankroll an assault on the Champions League? Or will Shearer ride his pit pony into the sunset to be replaced by another Toon hero? Has anyone got Gazza's number? At least Shearer's arrival should see the back of Dennis Wise, thereby bringing an end to one of the season's most burning questions. Namely: What the hell has Wise got on Ashley? There must be something. Perhaps Wise once caught Ashley rifling through the bargain bin at JJB Sports. Maybe he found that Tottenham calendar the big man was sneakily hiding in his desk. How do you explain why Ashley kept a London-based and Geordie-hated figure on the payroll for so long. Particularly as Wise's brief is to buy players for what is now a selling club. On one level though, I'd rather not know all the answers. I like Newcastle the way they are. Their purpose is make us laugh, and they are wildly successful at it. If you're in any doubt about that, just look at today's date. It's there in black and white.

I suspect his accountant disagrees.

I spoke to Alan Shearer on Wednesday morning to wish him luck as Newcastle's new manager. He'll need a little, but there are several key aspects to his character that make me think he will succeed. Throughout the game, Shearer was renowned for being a consummate professional: first in to training, last out. As a player he led by example. Today's footballers still respect him for that. If you get a manager who comes into the dressing-room who is in any way weak, or who wasn't the best trainer or the most dedicated, the current players will see that as an excuse to not be the best trainers or most dedicated themselves. Because of the reputation that precedes him, that won't be the problem for Alan. He'll walk into the dressing room and command respect. The problem will be getting the best out of the players, and to get them playing as a team. There's no simple fix. Alan's watched a lot of Newcastle this season and has his own ideas on how they should be playing and who should be playing, what the best team is and the best formation is, and as a manager that's where you earn your corn. It will help Al that he's a good person to be around. He's funny and he's a laugh, and he was renowned for that in the Blackburn dressing-room and the Newcastle dressing-room. In the production room for Match of the Day, for years and years Gary Lineker and I would laugh at anything and everything. Alan joined that band and was right in the middle of it. That ability to make a situation fun, and to have people like you, can be very important for a manager. You need the best players to want to be part of your team, and feel like they're part of something special. When the serious stuff needs to be done, however - and matches in the bottom three are a serious business - that's the way Alan was and will be. When you're on the pitch, you have to be ultra-professional and ultra-competitive. Alan is ultra-competitive in everything he does. He'll take advice from whoever he has alongside him, but ultimately he'll make his own decision about team selection and team formation. That's the way you've got to be. The players will respond to that and the crowd will too. He knows the game inside-out, but he'll need someone with him who has coaching experience. He'll have specific ideas on what's going wrong and what's needed to put it right, but coaching is knowing how to take a session - and Alan doesn't have that yet because he's never done it before. What he could do is take the strikers on their own, or take the midfielders, tell them what they're doing wrong and show them what they should be doing. That's the easy part. But he'll need people with him who have hands-on coaching experience. As a player you pick up ideas off every manager you work with. Each manager is different, has their own ways of dealing with players or getting involved in training, but most managers Al worked under were very single-minded. It was their way or you don't do it, and it will be the same with Alan. He is a very single-minded guy, and that will be vitally important in the days ahead. There's a lot of hard work to be done now, on the training ground and with the players. In the eight games he has left, he can't bring any new faces in on the playing side. In some ways that simplifies his task. He can't worry about how he might fare in the transfer market. At the same time, of course, it means that he has to work with what he's been left with. The players are responsible for the position they're in, but Alan has to get them playing and playing for each other. No-one's saying it's an easy task. It's a mammoth task. But Newcastle are in a much better position at the end of this week than they were at the start. Alan Hansen was talking to BBC Sport's Tom Fordyce.

ALAN SHEARER’S amazing appointment as Newcastle boss is a last throw of the dice by Mike Ashley. And the owner has thrown a six. Only one man could turn the tide of gloom at St James’ Park at this late stage of the season with the club in such a desperate fight against relegation. Shearer is not a tried and trusted coach. But management at the top level has never been about coaching and it never will. I am not a great coach, although I like it. Alex Ferguson is not a great coach. Nor is Arsene Wenger or Rafael Benitez. Guus Hiddink is not doing anything at Chelsea that the players haven’t done before. It is about being a manager. Shearer’s long-awaited and much longed-for coronation will create a huge wave of adrenaline. There will 55,000 screaming Geordies when Chelsea visit on Saturday. But more than that, Shearer knows the players he has got to work with. Eight games is not long and they are in a real fight. Relegation will cost the club in excess of £100million, so there are massive stakes. Shearer will know as much as any other manager who he can depend on in a scrap. He will scan the training ground and tally up those who are in and those who are out. You don’t have to be a great coach to understand that. Lots of those players at Newcastle will know Shearer — and respect him. Kenny Dalglish was not an experienced coach when he took over at Liverpool back in the 1980s and won all those trophies. And I am mightily relieved my Tottenham team have 38 points already with some distance between us and the drop zone. If we still had 33 or 34 points I would be pretty worried about playing Newcastle in a couple of weeks. I strongly believe that Shearer’s mere presence will galvanise the team incredibly. You do not need to be popular as a manager, but it helps if the whole squad is behind you. Bringing in Iain Dowie to help is another smart move. I didn’t know he and Shearer were that close. I’d have bet on Shearer’s big mate Rob Lee getting involved and still think there might be a place for him. I signed Iain for West Ham when he was a player — a striker with the heart of a lion. I have always thought he could go far. The twists and turns of his managerial career have been down to being at the wrong club at the wrong time. Dowie will be an excellent assistant, a voice of experience in Shearer’s corner. Shearer’s appointment is on a level with Kevin Keegan’s. He is an icon and has the fans’ huge support behind him instantly. No disrespect to Chris Hughton, but Shearer has the charisma to turn around the fans, players, boardroom and the survival fight. But here’s an early lesson in management for Shearer. What on earth was Allan McGregor thinking about with his actions in the bar after Scotland’s defeat in Holland? Burley had showed faith in him, dropping a £9million keeper in Craig Gordon. And this is how he repays him. Unbelievable. George doesn’t deserve that. Managers need the loyalty of players. Shearer will realise that. I am surprised, delighted and a touch relieved about Big Al finally taking the hot seat. A year or so ago I almost took the job but stayed at Portsmouth, taking them to an FA Cup win. Two days ago I’d have bet on Newcastle going down. I would not now.

The Times Alan Shearer finds hope from friends reunited While Newcastle United are reluctant to gaze beyond the next eight games and the immediate priority of avoiding relegation, Alan Shearer regards his first managerial position as an opportunity to establish a legacy at St James’ Park. The mood on Tyneside has been transformed by Shearer’s extraordinary return — assisted by the departure of Dennis Wise last night — and that change has already infiltrated the dressing-room. The chances of Michael Owen remaining at Newcastle beyond the expiration of his contract at the end of the season have been raised dramatically by Shearer’s appointment, provided the former England captain succeeds in his brief to lift the club out of the bottom three of the Barclays Premier League. That task will be onerous, but players and supporters recognise the opportunity which is beckoning. Some important battles have already been won. Owen’s relationship with Shearer dates back to their attacking partnership for England and their sharing of an agent. It was cemented when Shearer, 38, played a key role in persuading Owen to join Newcastle from Real Madrid in 2005 and the pair remain close. Although there are several hurdles to be negotiated between now and the end of the season, Owen has been enthused by his mentor’s arrival. Initially, Shearer’s deal will be limited to the next few weeks, but little else points to a short-term spell in charge. He has hired Iain Dowie, who has rich managerial experience, and Paul Ferris, the former Newcastle physiotherapist and a qualified barrister, to assist him at the club, while Chris Hughton and Colin Calderwood, the coaches, are likely to be retained. Neither Dowie nor Ferris are yes men. Dowie played with Shearer at Southampton in the early 1990s before renewing their friendship while working together for the BBC — Shearer, whose contract with the corporation stretches until after the 2010 World Cup, is now on unpaid leave from his Match of the Day duties — and Ferris, 43, is another long-time colleague. In 1982, aged 16, Ferris became Newcastle’s youngest senior player. Another frenetic day in the North East was slow to bring confirmation from Newcastle regarding their new saviour. The delay was connected to the positions of Wise, the outgoing executive director (football) and Joe Kinnear. As of Tuesday night, Kinnear, who has been recuperating from triple heart bypass surgery, officially remained in his role as manager. Earlier this week, Kinnear, who is due to speak to his specialist on Monday, hinted at a redefined role at Newcastle and one that would see him effectively succeed Wise, a possibility which has now evaporated. “There are no plans to appoint a replacement in this role,” the club said in a statement. It should not be forgotten that Mike Ashley, the club’s owner, had previously offered Kinnear a two-year contract extension, but Shearer’s demands have held sway. Should Shearer, who will hold a media conference at the ground today, succeed in pulling the club away from demotion, he would have the power as well as the popularity to shape the club as he sees fit. Safety would be worth a seven-figure sum to Shearer, not that he needs the money. He has completed both his A and B coaching badges and will have a 12-week dispensation to manage without the Uefa Pro Licence which is mandatory in the Barclays Premier League. Beyond the summer, provided he could demonstrate that he was on course to receive his coaching qualifications, there would be no official bar to his long-term appointment. With negotiations continuing and Newcastle’s players enjoying a day off, Shearer was not present at the club’s training ground. The city was in thrall, however. “Mike Ashley made a lot of mistakes when Kevin was in charge and I don’t think he’s going to repeat them,” Freddy Shepherd, the former chairman, said. “Alan’s not stupid. Yes, he’ll want to stay, but on his terms. If he keeps them up, he’ll be quite rightly acclaimed for a terrific achievement.”

Am I missing something? Shearer's quote at the end of that BBC interview, made is sound that Kinnear was coming back when fit. Just listened to it... maybe i'm clutching a bit but I'm reading it as they've committed to the 8 games and 8 games only. Just prior to that in the interview he mentions that he should be asked if he's staying on once the 8 games are out of the way. Aside from anything else, I think it's a sensitive situation to talk about the long-term replacement a manager who is on sick leave. One thing about Shearer is that he plays his cards close to his chest - I'm almost convinced he'll be staying regardless of the outcome this season. If you think back to when he initially said he was retiring, he made it very clear that was it, only for S*****s to talk him round.

Am I missing something? Shearer's quote at the end of that BBC interview, made is sound that Kinnear was coming back when fit.

"8 Games and 8 Games only".

Alan Green ffs

If only this had been done in September.

another Tildsley/Pleat Cringe-Fest.

Still don't like it, it looks like the kind of generic unlicensed kits you see on Pro Evo.

McCririck on Shearer. http://link.brightcove.com/services/player...tid=18255466001

The Damned United Highly enjoyable, didn't enjoy it as much as the book but very good none the less, had the feel of a TV drama rather than a movie, but didn't quite capture the spirit of the book.

He writes like a 10 year old. FYP

The Sun Shearer moves to dump Wise NEWCASTLE boss Alan Shearer is wielding the axe at St James' Park — with Dennis Wise the first casualty. SunSport understands the Toon legend will move swiftly to get the club in order by removing the unpopular executive director. Wise, 42, joined the club in January last year for a role in player transfers, scouting and youth development. But the relationship with the Toon Army turned sour as they dubbed him, along with vice president Tony Jiminez, part of a 'cockney mafia' under club owner Mike Ashley. Jiminez left Toon last October, while Wise stayed behind to work with new manager Joe Kinnear. But with Kinnear now recovering from a quadruple heart bypass, Shearer has stepped in to the Newcastle hot seat and instantly rung the changes. Wise's departure coincides with the appointment of former Crystal Palace boss Iain Dowie, who is set to join Shearer's coaching staff.

From The Guardian: Dowie to join Newcastle as Shearer's right-hand man Iain Dowie is to join Newcastle to work as Alan Shearer's right-hand man in the club's battle against relegation, the Guardian understands. It is believed that Shearer was impressed by Dowie during their brief time together at Southampton and, although the two are not friends and have had no long-term contact, Shearer thinks that the former Crystal Palace and Charlton manager, who has also had stints at QPR, Coventry and Oldham, can provide valuable tactical knowledge for the struggling side. Dowie's arrival will not spell the end for the first-team coaches Colin Calderwood and Chris Hughton, however. Though Dowie will be Shearer's No2, both Hughton, who has been working as caretaker manager in Joe Kinnear's absence, and Calderwood will remain at the club in a coaching capacity. The appointment does, though, create further doubt over the future of Dennis Wise at St James' Park. Unconfirmed reports on Tyneside have raised questions over Shearer's willingness to work under Wise, the club's executive director (football), who could now leave the club. An official statement confirming Shearer's arrival and his future plans is expected this afternoon. Iain Dowie's managerial record QPR May 2008 to October 2008 P15 W8 D3 L4 Coventry City February 2007 to February 2008 P49 W20 D8 L21 Charlton Athletic May 2006 to November 2006 P15 W4 D3 late Crystal Palace December 2003 to May 2006 P123 W50 D29 L44 Oldham May 2002 to December 2003 P82 W31 D28 L23 QPR (caretaker) September 1998 to October 1998 P2 W1 D0 L1

Wise has gone according to Setanta.