Happy Face

http://www.snopes.com/critters/farce/smuggled.asp 11491[/snapback] Nice one. Cheers. I'll tell him he's talking shite when I see him again.

It's not a joke but a VERY funny story I was told tonight. My mate works in a call centre and one of the women that works there has a son that has downs syndrome. He's 22. The lady in question took said son to Flamingo land for a day out. Being 22 he wanted to investigate on his own, so she sent him on his way and said he should meet her at the entrance in an hours time. When they met at the entrance he was soaked from head to toe. She asked what happened and he said he fell in a puddle. "you never got that wet in a puddle" she said, you're soaked through man. "I did, can we go home" he responded. So she left it and off they went. Half way up the motorway the son starts shivering so she says "take your jacket off". He refuses and says he's fine but after another few miles she thinks he's going to get hypothermia so she pulls on to the hard shoulder and insists he takes his coat off. Under his coat he's got a rucksack. "Why is your rucksack under your coat?" she asks. "It's nothing. I want to go home" he responds. But she's having none of it. She opened his rucksack to find A LIVE PENGUIN. He'd stolen a penguin from Flamingo land. I don't believe this story is true but I pissed myself (I guess I'm the only one) and I thought it was in bad taste. Do Flamingo land have penguins? Apparently she rang them up and had to pay a £270 fine.

Funnily enough as an Oasis fan I think all their videos are pants, save the Beatles-inspired acid trip for All Around The World. 11466[/snapback] Agree on both the pants and the exception. I can't even remember any other videos they've done apart from the one where they're in the car...and that was shit.

Just what I was thinking. And why is it now called "The other board"? If anyone says "Newcastle Online" do you have to swivell on your chair 3 times then slap your forehead to avoid bad luck?

I once ran out of milk. Tried to use water on my cornflakes instead. Not a solution I'd advise. Christ, I can't believe I'm so bored I wrote that! Bed-time.

CDs Bob Dylan - Blonde on Blonde Bob Dylan - Blood On The Tracks Bob Dylan - Time Out of Mind DVDs Once Upon A Time In The West Magnolia Amelie Books I don't really re-read books, but the last couple that I've really loved were Salman Rushdie - Midnghts Children Bruno Maddox - My Little Blue Dress And I'd take Halliwells film guide.

When I moved into my flat I gutted the whole place. 4 years later the passage, stairs, bathroom, kitchen and spare room are all still unplastered and uncarpeted. I'll get round to it one day.

I love red heads. Tori Amos. MMMmmmmmm

I like big butts and I cannot lie.

I fucking knew you would say that Its all about rites of passage. Buying first porn mag, first underage pint... happy days. 6171[/snapback] Nowt to do with puberty but I remember getting proper pissed the first time. All the lads round when I was 13 to watch a snide copy of Reservoir dogs, downed a bottle of Diamond White and brought it back up on the carpet when everyone had gone.

Best pubs in Shields are Mackem pubs I'm afraid. The Fountain and the New Crown are always good for a bit craic. Dead friendly. Unless a certain mate of ours is in, after a few pints he just stares out the mackems till something kicks off. Never watch the Football there though, always the Voyager for that. Which is a bit crap when people start chucking bottles off the roof and showering people with glass. But that's rare. In Newcastle, Idols has gone off the boil but it's still pre-match drinking hole of choice. Non match days will see me in the Forth, Head of Steam, The Telegraph, that area.

Noop Jesus lads can we keep thread like these to pm? Most of us don't really give a shit either way, you're all becoming as bad as each other. I joined this forum as I had grown tired of all the locked threads, invasions and general crap being posted on N-O, seeing as it was meant to be the old toontastic brought back, but now it's looking like it'll turn into N-O with bloody petty squabbling and long posts. Argh someone delete this thread 5262[/snapback] Are you craxy? It's the most entertaining thread on here. Coronation Street are thinking of buying the rights to the story - Norris and Fred have a falling out over admin rights - "he want's bannin', I say he wants bannin!"

You have big sheds, but nobody’s allowed in, and inside these big sheds are twenty-foot high chickens. Because of all the chemicals you put in them. And these chickens are scared. They don’t know why they’re so big. They go “oh why am I so massive?” And they’re looking down on all the other little chickens, and they think they’re in an aeroplane because all the other chickens are so small… do you deny that? No. His silence, I think, speaks volumes.

won't he need to split it into 2?

Who has a bash at the old sex talk when they're getting intimate? I don't even try because I couldn't keep a straight face "How pet, you're geet lush. If the new currency was cock I'd be Bill Gates - now get your laughing gear around this." Anyone have any good lines I can try?

I've been having a look about and I can't find anything that I'm overly attached to. My ipod would probably be the only thing since I'd hate to go through the bother of ripping everything again when the insurance comes through. I'm scanning a load of photos fror me mam so I'd probably have to get those too or I might as well burn.

It's also amazing how six hours in makeup plus strategic use of photoshop can easily fool some people. 4628[/snapback] Arrrr, don't say that man. I believed it. I suppose I've got as much chance with photoshop Charlotte as I had with real life Charlotte so it makes no odds really.

Aretha Franklin By god she's good. Think, Respect, Chain of Fools, I never loved a man... No better female vocalist.

Looks like you have the same keyboard as me 4603[/snapback] Looks like you have the cleanest room on the planet. Did you hoover and polish just for that photo?

It's amazing how one photo can completeley change your opinion of a fat welsh bint...

Does anyone actually gamble on Big Brother? You get all these odds quoted but if I went into the bookies and said I wanted to put a tenner on Anthony to win I'm sure I'd get my heed panned in. Deservedley so. 4571[/snapback] According to the bloke I know who works in Endemol, there's people who use their "insider knowledge" to make an absolute fortune from it, since they know who's up for eviction about an hour after the nominations have taken place, and have a fair idea of who's going to go. Hence why you can never get decent odds. 4579[/snapback] Orlaith was odds on tonight wasn't she? They must have made a mint.

I realise the Nav bar on the side makes me look like a twat but it leaves more room for quick launch icons and a tidy desktop.

Does anyone actually gamble on Big Brother? You get all these odds quoted but if I went into the bookies and said I wanted to put a tenner on Anthony to win I'm sure I'd get my heed panned in. Deservedley so.

You've obviously never read the Daily Star ! 4546[/snapback] Does anyone Read the daily Star? 4551[/snapback] Many just look at the pictures, hence all the photographers. 4556[/snapback] 25 photographers for one paper? I suppose they were expecting Orlaith. I'll bet you don't see much of Kemal in the Star, not quite their demographic.