Rayvin

If we do stay in the single market, how much money have we wasted on this lunacy just to save the blushes of the Tory party. In terms of what it's cost the country in total, we must be way into the billions by now.

Ah, thanks weird to consider how high his opinion of himself is tbh. Apart from his very early days I don't remember him being -that- good.

Not a great lip reader, what does he say?

Where's that from? Also, this is going to be a monumental clusterfuck I know it's been said many times, but it's refreshing that it just keeps on proving to be true.

Ah great, we're staying in the single market then?

Suppose I could do. No worries.

Shocking as it may seem, I just didn't become invested in the characters

Really? Just because they lost to PSG?

I like that you've had to put "I haven't checked" there in order to ensure you can get the joke in without any biteback

I never watched Breaking Bad Couldn't get into it.

WTF is that from

Aye, it's what he'd want.

RIP.

Everton must expect they'll get there and I can see Wham being delusional enough for that too. But Leicester? That freak league win has gone to their heads, clearly

Fuck. That. I understand the top 6 going for it but why on earth are there 3 smaller clubs also agreeing? I bet we're one of them...

At least the racial stereotyping is accurate this time.

I'd be careful with that, it's not beyond Ashley to bring Pardew back here if Rafa walks out...

Will Boeing care?

FFS. That's exactly the sort of thing that appeals to my 'idealised self' as well. The untarnished, unblemished truth of my own inadequacy. Acceptable as long as I retain the motivation to overcome it. Thanks, this has been illuminating

That reads almost like dramatic fiction, but I get what you're saying. It's definitely a new angle to consider in all of this, I'll try to think it through. I have absolutely no concept of how I would harness such a thing though, I seem to be in a perpetual state of conflict with the thing. My fears vs my idealised self.

This makes a lot of sense although I'm wary of losing the 'shadow' as honestly, it seems absolutely fundamental to my identity. Did you have a similar issue (apologies for prying)?

I know what you're driving at here - in fact I think you and Parky are saying similar things. I'm not going to divulge huge amounts of all of this as I've already whinged on quite a bit, but for instance, I have a BA and an MBA, and spent a year living in one of the biggest cities in the world. I should be confident enough, and sure enough of myself in terms of adaptability and prowess, to be able to get a job outside of Newcastle in a fairly big city. I never imagined after all of that, that I would still be here. I love the city, but I need to test myself outside of it. It's too comfortable. I have started side businesses in the past, but lose interest even when they become reasonably successful, because to commit to them would mean taking the risk of leaving work. I'm too fucking afraid of the consequences of everything going wrong - or, I guess, of finding out that the grass is in fact not greener. Not entirely unlike Fish for the former. I use video games and the internet to escape from an ever present sense that I could be more productive, that I could be spending the time more wisely, that I could be achieving something. Then I just think, well, I'll do it tomorrow. Or soon. And I never do. So I need to be a better person. I'm not sure I could handle waking up one morning and just accepting that who I am now, is ok. It's not ok.

Interesting... can you expand on that? Why would I have cobbled together an idealised me?