Blastronaut

To fund what? 40 trucks worth of cabbages delivered to Bruce?

Dunno like. Bruce is clearly the worse manager (which is an achievement in itself) but Pardew is just an all round terrible human being. Football aside, If they were both crossing the road together and my brakes failed I'd be steering towards Pardew.

As a Scot I'd like to see that happen tbh. My take though? Too many people gambling without even knowing what an overround is.

Yeah I get that. I was really just poking fun at the idiots who think bookies know what the score is.

Rafa is off to Celtic if you're daft enough to think they bookies give a fuck about outcomes. Even if its bollocks, Neil Lennon will be looking for work soon......

Dunno what's funnier. "premiership? The premiership is full of arseholes!" or "John, give us me phone back"

"Top Banana" seems more apt. Downward curve n' that.

I'm no even a Toon fan and I'd quite gladly stack another skip on top.

Proves his point, really.

At least there will probably be a few goals. I was watching Liverpool Burnley the other day and about half an hour in remembered there was football on. Got up to find the remote before realising I was already watching it.

Records aside, let's compare quotes to emphasise just how similar these two actually are. Honestly forget who said what! "I asked for a table, they brought me a lampshade" "They kicked our arses, now we need to go and lick our wounds"

Surely we can all agree that Smith-Rowe is by far the the second best English player ever to go by the name Emile (which is a decent achievement for his age), Bruce is a thick fuck would've spent that £100million on fried pig and the only reason his stats are even closely comparrible to Rafa's is because the owners are the source of the problem, and Jamie Carragher hasn't had botox he just looks that way after a few years of sucking Gary Nevilles cock every weekend.

Fernando torres finally reveals what happened to that extra half yard of pace. Traded it for an extra half yard of neck.

Just reminded me I got a row for muttering "fucking thick cunt, hes a lefty" early in the first half when he had wee dig at Almiron for cutting inside and playing off his stronger foot instead of "fancying himself to get the better of Tierney and get to the byline".

Bit like Clapton biggest crime was jumping the fence from Fender to a Gibson.

Brutal eh? Poor cunt. At least the beeb have got his back. Talented, aye. Flawed? Fuck, my last attempt at wallpapering was a bit flawed. Counting my blessings I'm no dying in jail over it.

So Phil Spector is deid. I'm all for separating the art from the artist but seeing the likes of the BBC headlines of "flawed but talented record producer dies" sticks the craw a bit. Fucks wrong with the world where "flawed but talented man dies" means the same as "convicted murderer and serial abuser dies in prison"?

The gambler in me would want to bet that any messiah worth his salt would surely sook a few cocks to save mankind.

If it makes anyone feel any better I've had a gammy knee for a good fortnight after trying to take the recycling out pissed when the roads were like an ice rink. Miraculously didnae break any of the glass, muscle memory must've kicked in.

Tit's actually better than I expected.

Just said this same thing to a neighbour and was met with "yeah but we couldn't until now, EU n' that, all the red tape". Hit me right there and then why we didn't do it sooner. Would've showed we always had control of our borders and undermined half the motivation for Brexit.

Heard Mark Keds had passed so I've had a few Senseless Things albums back in rotation. Pure 90s nostalgia but with decent lyrics. https://youtu.be/yLEYzPBvsoQ

Mind her suggesting we just "puncture their dinghies and let them drown in the English Channel"?

Priti "executing innocent people would deter the actual criminals" Patel. In other news Richard Leonard has quit as Leader of Scottish Labour. Even as a Scot I'll admit my reaction to this news was "who?"

Aye, normality for nobody bar himself. Cunt finally woke up in a puddle of his own piss and realised how much he had to lose.