Blastronaut

Glancing over this thread, you all clearly need a bit more Hellripper in your lives.

Two words: Bobsleigh Team

Probably just a Scottish guy that refinanced his mortgage to free up some cash and lump money on the draw tbf.

Surely has to be up there with best co-commentary highlights of all time. Kenny McLean. From his own half. "SHOOT!"

I'm not fully buying this story. You're clearly far too self-conscious and left wing to ever have been considered a "wee English shit". And I mean that as a compliment.

That's fucking brilliant news! Love Bob Mould. I guess I'll be listening to Beaster again tonight then.

This mob have been on my radar ever since I heard their full name is Royal Union Saint-Gilloise and their ultras refer to themselves as The Bhoys. I remember them drawing Rangers a few years ago and revelling in watching both sides of the divide up here tie themselves in knots over whether they were to be considered good guys or wanks.

Ah come on man. We can't be having you hungover at half past three in the afternoon. Especially at a festival. You could've had a can at 7am to power through it and done a full shift by half three.

With four kids in tow, all of our holidays are "family" holidays. Even the ones without the in-laws. Two years ago I bumped into an old mate I hadn't seen for nearly 20 years while on holiday. Me with my four and him with his five lads. Asked him how they were all enjoying their break and he laughed and said "you know the script. This isn't a break for the likes of me and you". Never a truer word spoken.

That was surprisingly close to peak Manics lyrics. Well played.

What was he thinking sending Walcott on that early?

I used to work for a guy who was heavily into metal detecting and collecting coins in his free time. Stories of CT's hobbies remind me of him a bit. He was obsessed with inspecting 2p coins for their date and whether or not they said Two Pence or New Pence. Apparently there were a few misprints from 1983 or thereabouts that are valuable. Best job ever, getting paid to scatter 2p coins around any given room and basically get the day off while your boss scurried around inspecting every single coin. I've since had pets and children that were harder to train.

It's all good man, I'll cover for you.

His pull out game must be pretty weak then tbh.

That's as pretty long winded way to say to say "well those opening fixtures essentially revealed absolutely nothing and taught us fuck all".

That not really what I was getting at when I said "humour me" but it did raise a wry smile. You're talking about a guy whose career is winding down like he's some wet behind the ears teenager, and expressing worry for his wellbeing coming off what's probably the biggest payday of his life.

Dudes in his 30's ffs. But fuck it, humour me. Was he competing with Loris Karius or was he just brought in to fill that gap last season? Paycheck aside, what a grim existence this poor fucker has led for the past few years. A mere five figures a week for doing what looks like absolutely fuck all at the tail end of his professional career. I don't have much of an opinion on him either way in terms of his goalkeeping qualities, but this guy's surely laughing all the way to the bank while you're on here suggesting he's some sort of victim. I hate to sound cold or callous (but I am, so sometimes it comes out that way) but this guy's at the tail end of his career and barely got a sniff at Forest.

Is nobody else going to mention the new Cardiacs single? Seriously? It's been 3 or 4 days already.

Ah fuck I wish read further down the comment chain before my last flippant response. Sounds horrific. Delayed trains and bus replacement are always a bit of a ball ache.

This reminds me of something that's lived rent free in my head for nearly 20 years. I was looking at the wine shelf in a co-op in Glasgow and there was a group of people at the ATM behind me. One of them said "why the fuck does this cash machine have a headphone socket?" and another confidently replied "it's for deaf people you stupid cunt".

Fucking hell mate that sounds brutal. I was cautiously optimistic you'd say "about 5 weeks". I got struck with testicular torsion in my early/mid 30's, which only lasted about a week but I'll still describe as the most excruciating pain I've ever felt in my life (collapsed lungs and broken bones don't even register on the same scale). Four years of living with a swollen bollock after a botched surgery I'd probably be actively seeking out and trying to make friends with eunuchs with the ultimate goal of making contact with their surgeon.

Obvious question surely has to be: How fucking long ago did you go in for this? June? Earlier in the year? Last year?

Aye, flag and bumper sticker sales for the Clinton camp are about to take a bit of a hit.

The whole thing was fucking horrific and had Fuentes and his ilks grubby little mitts all over it. Jubilee was always heavily right leaning but this was just something else. This might have been the loudest and proudest fascist wolf whistle ive heard in my lifetime.and it's completely baffling to see Mehdi Hasan caught up the vortex of it. The first guy your talking about essentially threatened him with physical violence, the next said "yes, I'm a Fascist. I love General Franco and the Nazis" and the guy after that literally shook his hand while saying "go home, you're not welcome here".