Dazzler

Aye, it was like he was thinking of his lies on the spot tonight. Maybe it's not as far along as Maxi's to Saudi was though, coz he just came out and admitted it then. Perhaps we're still not agreed on the transfer fees yet, but are very close.

My dad hates him. Has never rated him and even he has changed his mind this season after seeing him play under Howe for an extended run of games. It's also worth pointing out that my dad is your bog standard west end, old man, racist so black players have to work extra hard to gain his approval - so Lascelles must have been fucking mint recently. Personally, I'll be sad to see him go as I think he's always been decent, and has really stepped it up this season. However, a few million quid for us and the chance for him to be the first choice CB at a new club is the least he deserves after years and years of graft, leading a team of misfits under Ashley's ownership.

Him and Lascelles are 100% away IMO. Howe tripped over his words when asked about both of them when giving his excuses and that's not like him at all.

"First of all good ebening" 0-20 to the toon - Olly Watkins with 6 own goal hattricks and an own goal brace.

Because we're cheating bastards obviously.

Na the extra hundred grand a week he's getting mean he can justify buying a set of oven gloves now.

Aye when fucking Jimenez did this to Longstaff

He's destined to manage spurs at some point when Postecoglou fucks off to manage a genuinely big club who deserves someone like that.

One team playing and being 2-0 down reminds me of Steve Howie's story about shadow play in training under Ardiles

Or the other two times we had the ball in the net, or the time they had the ball in the net

Canny bit of form away from home for a team that's shit away from home.

The bantz if he blazes one in and kicks the fuck out of all four corner flags, the linesman flags, every KKK flag in the home end....

He's just putting in a performance that ensures no cunt will bid £100m for him before deadline day and I for one salute him for it.

And half of the home end by the sounds of it.

Thank fuck the scouting team had a team bonding sesh at Beamish then. A whole 10 or so miles away from Newcastle

Fucking hell they're jinxing it now singing about Wembley.

I'll shit myself if they show him in the away end next.

If they don't sing lets get ready to rumble next the away fans have been shit.

Both nailed on to have RTG accounts. Which one do you reckon is exile?

Make it 3-0 and get Parkinson and Hernes on for the craic.

What you fucking on about man, Miggy is "ill"

"Miley is an extraordinary find when you think about it" Aye, thank fuck we checked North Shields for players, eh Clive you daft cunt.

It's hard to sing with a BLT in your gob in fairness

Coz they're shite.

Get a third and bring the young Norwegian on to take the piss.