acrossthepond

Could be a good move by Pardew. Certainly better than putting the likes of Guthrie out on the right wing, God forbid.

I'm not sure he exists. Same as Gosling - that could've been anyone in his shirt for 5 minutes against the Mackems. Both Ashley conspiracies if you ask me, providing the illusion of cover.

Is this thread a piss-take? We didn't bid for N'Zogbia as a "joke", we bid for him so it'd look like the regime were trying to sign replacement players after flogging our best player for 35m, but - so tragically - we just ran out of time to make a deal. Never mind that N'Zogbia would never return, and that Wigan are the club least likely to sell to us. Wouldn't have him back for free. He's better than Jonas technically, sure, but there's plenty of other available players who tick that box who don't also have baggage equivalent to Heathrow's daily turnover and an absolutely shit attitude to boot. Plus he knocked Birmingham back in the summer because he wanted more money - no doubt he'd be wanting a fortune from us. This isn't even a case of "no thanks", it's just "no."

We can beat these. Am I completely alone in thinking S. Taylor could do a job on the right side? He looked good going forward after coming on v. Bolton and, let's face it, he's always been suspect defensively. Giving him free rein to attack might bring out a different side of his game. Obviously, this only applies if Barton isn't fit.

What they saying like? It's actually inconceivable to me how people could slag someone off who took us from the brink of non existance to one of the best teams in Europe within three years. "What difference does it make? He's in the past now." © Toonpack 2011

Your full of shite mate and always have been. You hate the fact that I had Jonas down as utter shite seasons ago while you were pulling off in your spider mask. Your like a few of the kids on here who cant see any player they have man love for, criticised. When he has played well I give him credit for it. Its not my fault its so fucking rare. Numerous times the whole stand was screaming at Jonas to make a run down the line to get into a dangerous position to receive the ball but time after time he made no attempt. With regard to Ranger....a "match changing sub" needs to come on and change the match. He is quite frantic but consistently doesnt score. Thats a fact. And as for Best, apart from his hat-trick I thought that was his best performance BECAUSE he won quite a bit in the air and directed those headers, flick ons into the box. Thats not biggging him up you tit, thats telling it how I saw it at the game. Oh really? How about when he was clearly MOTM against Brum and even then you couldn't admit it? It's not that I have 'man love' for Jonas, you utter plank, it's that you have an irrational hatred for him! It makes anything you say about him difficult to take seriously. Jonas is one of our best attacking players. If you want to criticise him for not being as good as fucking Jesus Navas, well, we aren't Sevilla if you haven't noticed that. If you had any brains, you'd recognise him for what he is, which is one of the only relevant attacking outlets we have. I remember you tried to make out that Routledge was better than Jonas too after we signed him. We can all see how well that's gone. Ranger completely changed the match when he came on. I guess you really did take that extended piss I mentioned and missed it all. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and say that must've been how you got rid of all the Kronnenberg you ingested pre-match, which plainly clouded your judgment for the other 70 minutes. He doesn't score? Neither do any of the rest of our shit strikers. He gave us an outlet to hold onto the ball when we were a man down and looking for possession, he harried opposing defenders, he opened space for other players to get into, and in general completely changed the nature of the game. We had looked completely penned in before Ranger came on, and once he was on we had a way to move forward when we had possession. A striker isn't only as good as what shows in his goals column, and a player can have a match-changing impact without scoring or assisting a goal. Perfect example of how someone can go to the match and not see shit. I notice you didn't even waste time trying to defend your ridiculous criticism of Enrique, who is the best player we have and the 3rd best left-back in the league. Either you're blind as fuck or you don't know shit about football. I think it's plain by now which it is.

If he thought Ranger 'came on and ran around like a fanny without any end product' then I'm not sure if he did go to the match, Skidders, or maybe he was taking an extended piss for the last 20 minutes and missed it all. Slagging Enrique, Jonas and Ranger (three of the best performers offensively) and bigging up Best (complete shite) is where the 'knows bog all about football' comes into it. And "yank" doesn't come into it at all, but I don't expect any better from a troll like you who gets his rocks off trying to wind Leazes up.

This. Enrique was shite apart from two decent runs. Jonas was a disgrace and shouldnt wear the shirt again. As usual a shite display without Barton. (only found out minutes before kick off and not sure why he was missing). Ranger again comes on and runs around like a fanny without really any end product. Singing corner singing "Theirs only one Ryan Taylor as he's sent off". Praise be to Best who put in a good shift and won some great balls in the air. 2 points chucked away tbf. You're a fucking idiot who knows absolutely bog all about football. Just fyi.

Good performance, hell of an exciting game. If not for R. Taylor's moment of madness, that was ours.

Worked, didn't it?

Here I thought we were going to push on for the 3 points, now we'll be lucky to hang on to 1. Brilliantly done.

Looking like this one might be a cracker.

More importantly, what are you drinking/eating/seeing outside your window? What minutiae of your life can you regale us with via your mobile device? Inquiring minds want to know.

o i forgot 2 add we're gonna win 10-0 an pards will come off da bench 2 score da last 3 lol! more updates later on, i noe ur desperate 4 them lol

What'd u have Besty? Sweet onion chicken teriyaki is my faves totally lol! Sat here eating oatmeal, not feelin well but anythin 4 da t00n lol!

Should be shite-chatters.co.uk judging by TM's crack.

Wovers? (FWIW Billy I think there's 3 teams comfortably worse than your lot this season. I am a little worried that Venky's may turn out to be the "tastes like chicken" version of West Ham's dildo twins.)

KK summer, didn't we have a "super signing" coming in that turned out to be Colo? Muntari only spent one season at Portsmouth - can you blame him? Inter came in for him. If Inter came in for Tiote at the end of this season, I don't think I'd blame him for wanting to be off, and it wouldn't make him a mercenary or unreliable.

I was hoping it'd be a white one like the one Best wore for Coventry.

I can deal with spiders. It's centipedes that get me. I fancy it's because when I was five, I was in school and my teacher told me to go to the sink and wash my hands, and I found a huge vile one in there. I can bring myself to kill them, but only barely. When someone else is around, I'm usually OK, but when I'm on my own with the nasty wriggly things I'm a wreck. I wouldn't define these as phobias, but they seem to fit within the thread: the foam-like shit that you used to find around the cans of headphones before earbuds became so popular. CANNOT TOUCH IT OR BE AROUND ANYONE WHO IS TOUCHING IT. Wor lass has bamboo-wood cutting boards. I have certain rules regarding these wretched things: if my hands are dry and they're dry, ok; if my hands are wet and they're wet, ok. If either my hands are wet and the boards are dry, or my hands are dry and the boards are wet, I cannot touch them. I hate "rasping" sounds in general, and I also hate the sound of a metal spoon scraping against a colander. Think I've covered everything now.

I hope West Ham go as I think they epitomise a lot of what's wrong with the Premier League. They spent far beyond their means with the Icelanders, then somehow scraped by after they crashed and burned. Now they have some of the dodgiest owners on the planet in charge who have publicly undermined both Zola and Grant, they're paying Wayne Bridge's 90k/week salary (how are they affording this again)? and have just been awarded the Olympic Stadium, which they firstly will never fill even in the Premier League and secondly they're going down and won't even have 20k to fill a 60k capacity ground with. On top of that they're skinhead cockney wankers and I despise them. Not like this is personal or anything Beyond that, I think Wigan and Wolves are cooked. WBA will stay up.

Our midfield this year is COMFORTABLY better than the one back then. Not even debatable. We've got the top goalscoring midfielder in the league ffs. I write fuckin' how it's pronounced over here, I couldn't give a fuck about giving you any abuse, I don't care about your opinions on soccer enough to warrant it, because your comments re: the midfield prove that they aren't very clever ones. Run along, sport! I'm not even counting Ben Arfa because he's played 4 games for us. He may as well not be in the squad at the moment. The likes of Solano (better creatively than anyone we have at the moment), N'Zogbia (better than Jonas), Milner (also better than Jonas; can play in CM), Dyer (attitude issues but still better than our CMs) and yes, even Duff are simply better than Nolan, Barton, Jonas, Routledge, Guthrie and unknown qualities in Gosling, Ireland and HBA (good in his first 4 games - not sure what he'll be like after recovering from injury.) The difference is Tiote, who is far and above anyone similar we had in the '07 team. So I will actually revise my position to state that '07's midfield was actually not comfortably better than today's, but I maintain that technically it was superior. And if we're talking plainly in terms of ability, I don't think there's any way that today's side could be considered technically better than '07's squad. If we could have the '07 squad with the team ethic and spirit instilled in them by Hughton, that would be optimal.

I'm a big fan of how ASM writes fuckin' instead of fucking, like it makes him some kind of hard man. "'Ere lad, come on and have a go. Fuckin' pussy!" I can just see him hunched over the computer, drooling on the keyboard, muttering "Aye, that's it, that's them fuckin' telt" over and over again. Cue him showing up to hurl invective that he thinks is supremely clever (viz. Gemmil and "alpha male", Leazes and "deluded old fuckwit") at me, probably something involving the word "yank." Like that hasn't been done a few hundred times before on this board, bit like his and Leazes' endless quote pyramids. I voted for the 2006-2007 squad, but it's a close one. '07 has this season's squad beat comfortably in midfield and in goal, this season's has '07 beat in defence and even discounting Carroll, I don't think they're far off in attack.

We did it in 93-94.

It's from the Daily Fail, chuck it in with all the other toilet paper. Not quite as fail as your formatting, though, Berb