Gemmill

Have you cripples actually managed to arrange something then? Only took you 19 pages.

I looked into getting the loft done in my new place - completely sorted, with a staircase built etc, but it was going to cost a fortune. Because it's a flat it would have involved getting the entire floor of my flat and all the walls upgraded with extra fireproofing - the idea being that if there was a fire in the flat below me, the extra fireproofing would buy me 10 minutes to get out if I was in the loft. Anyway, the flat was going to be unliveable in that time period, so it was a no go. I'd love a house with a huge basement like you describe though - most American houses have that sort of thing an'all.

Matty clearly thinks Toontastic is his personal sixth form pencil case.

If that's true it's ridiculous. Plus, it would have prevented him putting Lampard on as sub during the game at any point. I doubt that is true, there was a shot of Lampard in the stands with a cast on last night. It was only a wrist brace. The same one he had on for training the last 2 days. Looks like Luke's gonna make a canny doctor.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/6505443.stm "Rock on, Tommy!"

I like my Apples (how d'you like them apples? ), but tbh, the lower end (read affordable) Mac laptops like the one I've got are a canny bit slower than the Compaq laptop I've got. So I would probably just stick with a PC. Why do you have an Apple & a PC out of interest? What can you do on the Apple that you can't on the other? Or are you just greedy Poker basically. The Mac doesn't work with a lot of poker software. I actually have two Apples and one PC.

It got really nasty just before half time. The chants of "There's only one David Beckham" then all the booing and shouting as the players walked off. The "Still want McClaren Out" at 3-0 was canny funny like. Like a load of huffy bairns - when they cut to the crowd after Gerrard scored the first there were loads of people with a "Fuck that keeps him in a job" look on their face. Not much celebrating.

£50m?? D'you reckon? That's pedantry you would be proud of, Craig.

If that's true it's ridiculous. Plus, it would have prevented him putting Lampard on as sub during the game at any point. He wasn't on the bench - there are other rumours floating around that Lampard flounced off and demanded to be allowed to leave for home immediately if he wasn't playing. Which I guess would explain the need for a smokescreen. McClaren should just say he dropped him - that's his job ffs, no one's going to have a problem with him doing his job apart from Lampard in this instance. I know on the radio this morning (Talksport, I know) the presenter on there (ex-Chelsea) was at the Chelsea Village last night and bumped into the club doctor and asked what the craic was with Lampard's wrist. The club doctor told him that he was passed fit to play.

I'm assuming it's this mind coach that's advised him appallingly on how to handle the Lampard situation too. Supposedly Lampard was fit to play and was dropped. But instead of coming out and saying "See, I AM a man that can make big decisions", a smoke screen has been set up involving an injured wrist. Which makes McClaren look like a soft shite.

Bill Beswick. Followed him from Middlesbrough. Biggest joke is he's actually listed as being an England mind coach ffs. Also since Steve Round left Boro to join the England set-up earlier in the season, the smogs have started playing better and England have started playing like the smogs. That's the bloke, Beswick. The press hate him, claim he's a right shifty twat and is basically brain washing McClaren. I don't know if it's true, but the bloke from the Express was saying he organises all McClaren's PR, how he dresses, how he does press conferences etc. He does. Also advised McClaren to spend six grand on getting his teeth whitened to improve his image apparently. Did he advise him to walk out on last night's press conference too? I think McClaren's probably a decent enough bloke in a job that's way out of his league. Agree with whoever said that the FA are responsible for the whole mess more so than the baldy quiff man.

Aye, Defoe's face was a picture. Nugent scoring a classic scouser's goal.

Dyer did well when he came on. Looked very lively, and some nice touches. Dare I say he looked a better player playing with people that can pass the ball in to feet.

See what I mean? Albert Logic.

Are you having an affair with him like? Pearl necklace next.

He's a bit like Albert Logic.

How argumentative is Fop man? If we can somehow get him and Renton arguing about something, we could shift the thread onto a dummy forum away from here, and we'd never see or hear from the two of them again.

Two things I like about this thread: firstly how annoyed J69 got, but even more than that, that Renton is so desperate for an argument that he'll start one with an in-car thermometer.

You know what I meant.

"Excelleeeent! *widdlywiddlywiddly*"

I am being nice to you by not cluttering your path to the grill. Flip away at those burgers, my son! Regale your co-workers with stories from history on your way to five stars on your badge! Wow them all come election time with your knowledge of the political system, as you separate the slices of Kraft cheese!

Wasters like you are obstructing my path into employment! I don't work at McDonalds, Alphonso.

The only thing I can add is drink lots of water during the day. Or if you can, force yourself to get up really early one day after barely any sleep and try to have a normal day. By the time night comes you'll be absolutely shattered. Why's water going to help? As it happens, the latest research has shown there is no evidence that drinking lots of fluid is good for you. You should only drink when you are thirsty. I thought if you waited until you were thirsty it was already too late - you were dehydrated by then? Surely drinking plenty water keeps your system flushed through and that. And stops you having stinky orange piss. Well, it turns out there was no research done on it at all, as I found out when researching why it is recommended to drink lots of fluid if you have the common cold. Getting thirsty is an indicator you need fluid, you should trust your body to know best. Drinking lots of water isn't usually harmful of course unless you really overdo it but it does require more pisses which is irritating. Also it turns out tea and coffee are not bad for you as has been made out, and, with the exception of really strong coffee, they don't dehydrate you. Another myth is salt is really bad for you. There is almost no evidence for this at all. A high salt diet may raise your blood pressure by a very small amount, which may have a noticeable effect on populations, but the effect on the individual is very slight. I really don't understand the governments official line on salt reduction which verges on hysteria. And they've made pot noodles taste shit: FACT. Fair enough. I actually like drinking lots of water at work, as going to the bog gives me something to do.

The only thing I can add is drink lots of water during the day. Or if you can, force yourself to get up really early one day after barely any sleep and try to have a normal day. By the time night comes you'll be absolutely shattered. Why's water going to help? As it happens, the latest research has shown there is no evidence that drinking lots of fluid is good for you. You should only drink when you are thirsty. I thought if you waited until you were thirsty it was already too late - you were dehydrated by then? Surely drinking plenty water keeps your system flushed through and that. And stops you having stinky orange piss.

No idea - I take bags with me whenever I go shopping anyway, despite the patronising tone of Tesco's 'Green Clubcard Points'. The Germans have got me well trained Gyppo. Cheers then. You want to be able to pay with cards though. I only carry hundreds and plastic baby.