Gemmill

Give the fish something fairly healthy to eat and you just know he's gonna lather a layer of baked fat over the top of it.

Sima wouldn't have a leg to stand on.

It's a piece of piss though. Pestle and mortar or food processor? I'm guessing it's the former since Oliver goes for that method and his is obviously the first cookery book you've ever picked up. It's a lot less hassle in a food processor btw. Crushing fucking almonds in a pestle and mortar is far from easy. I've got forearms like Popeye today. Food prothethorth are for homth according to Jamie.

Seen one or two of them before, but there's some decent ones there.

You have to make your own pesto man. That's what this hero did last night.

Seen as you asked so politely, Little Lord Fauntleroy.

Sausage sarnie.

Knerbheed.

That's fucking quality. Might have to see if it's available for download anywhere. Does anyone know? I think I've still got it on Sky + Dave, but I wouldn't have the first clue how to put it on my computer. Could I record it onto a DVD then get it off the DVD onto my computer?

Have you been dumped by Achilles like?

No idea.

Wtf is a treasure line???

Are you sure it was a lass? Was too afraid to ask. Haha, no, I'm sure. How nervous is that laugh?

Oh god it gets worse, im actually feeling sorry for you flower! You can have half of my cadburys dairy milk! Stick it in the post! I've got a double decker here, but you're getting none!

I dread the thought of moving house. Last time was easy - first time buyer and I owned fuck all. Next time will be a nightmare. I had to get the bus this morning. In Sunderland. It doesn't get any worse than that.

Nah I'm just messing man, although I am in a miserable Monday mood, it has to be said. I've got a stotting headache and the bloke at the garage has just rang to say my car won't be ready til tomorrow night. And you know what that means? Public transport. Tonight and tomorrow morning. Revolting.

Your husband sounds like a Status Quo fan to me.

Nah, I prefer just to Brylcreem my pubes into a sort of 1920's Jeeves style comb-over. As if you can see past your belly to do anything that intricate.

Aye wasn't the kid called Gordon or something but he used to leap around shrieking GOORRRR GOOOOOORRRRRR!!11111

Was First Born the one with GORRRRR in it?

Is there a connection with the Bumraiding? Do you leave the toilet in a particularly unpleasant state or something?

You clean the bog daily? Your bloke has got you well cowed.

They asked him what the craic was and he basically said "It's really weird but I just felt that he was deliberately not passing the ball to me so I had a go at him and it all kicked off from there." Reckons they both got into the changing room and were fine with one another and Dyer had said that it would mean they both missed the semi final which was when it hit home how daft they'd been. Rob Lee piped up that you see stuff like that all the time in training, just never in a match. They also did a little bit on Nobby after our highlights - paused the shot just as he was about to strike the penalty and his eyes were set on the opposite corner to which he put the penalty, sending Reina the wrong way. They showed a shot from behind the ball where you could see the way his head was angled, but the best was the one they showed from behind the goal fairly well zoomed in and he's just cooly looking in exactly the opposite place to where he put the ball. Rob Lee reckons he's the best he's ever seen at that sort of thing and he does it in training all the time, looks at you, and you actually think you're about to get the ball but he knocks it to someone else.

Your face in the taxi queue. Pure unadulterated horror. Some bloke at the match got that treatment on Saturday. The lad that sits behind us let out the dreaded word, and Cath's head spun round like it was spring loaded and gave him the :icon_lol: look. He immediately apologised.

Loony.