Gemmill

The BMI Index is a load of bollocks anyway.

I'll be very surprised if his baldy heed is still bobbing about in Benton. Spent I reckon.

I don't think it was specifically aimed at you, blimpy!

That's pathetic man, Smooth.

Poker game to night, me vs you $25? No sensei, because no doubt I'll have to shift money onto your site of choice. I'm on the fulltable SNGs anyway - heads up SNGs are shite cos the blinds start at 15/30 when there's only the two of you playing.

I used to get a decent bonus in my old company. Get nowt here. Good reason to leave IMO.

Pillock.

What? Will have to listen later.

That sounds a lot like you're about to volunteer yours.

OMG UR SUCH A HATER!!11

Na!

Good weekend for anyone that doesn't normally go to get a ticket for this once in a lifetime opportunity.

Horrible moment there. Expected it to be about 3:30 when I looked at the clock. 2:11 ffs.

I just imagine him bursting through the front door to find a trail of lettuce leaves and tofu leading to the bedroom with a runway of jos sticks lighting the way, stripping down to his disposable hemp underpants as he climbs the stairs. "Claire.......daddy's home......you ready for me baby?"

I'll be driving home trying not to look at the clock.

If you're expecting a plain naan you wouldn't have ordered a keema. Ah but he didn't. It was a group order. Keep up, Sandra!

You can imagine the horror though. With a sandwich, burger or hotdog, you're anticipating the meat content. If you're expecting plain naan and you tear a bit to find what looks like pedigree chum in it, you'd have a right to complain.

says Nick. No Nick. It doesn't. That's a table. I had the pleasure of being in Jesmond Metro station on Wednesday. Some of the panels on the wall had been painted with different colours in different blocks. By a professional artist. There was even an explanation on behalf of Nexus to describe the thinking of said artist's thinking behind the 'work'. Take it from me, it is utter shit. Utter SHIT. And some fucker got paid for it. *plans to get the kids' paint pots out the loft and make some art - for money* Got a tour of our corporate headquarters in Arnhem last week. An art tour to be precise. The company actually employs this woman to invest in art - that's all she does - and it's then put on display in the company HQ. Weird. Anyway, it was her that was giving us the tour and she was giving us all that spiel as well about the motivation and that. She brings us to this one thing that was this painting of a boy with dog's ears coming out of his head. When we were all assembled in front of it, she comes out with "This piece is called Dog Face". This Italian lass who was stood next to her just burst out laughing pretty much right in her face and couldn't stop. She was just stood there going "I so sorry. So sorry." giggling away. Fucking Dog Face. Fuck off man! Lad at work went to the Baltic last week and he reckons one of the displays is stick figure drawings of blokes bumming one another. Literally stick figures. Jesus, I used to do that in the back of my exercise book and draw arrows pointing to my mates. Turns out I'm an art genius.

Meat bread. The mince in keema naan always looks very suspect though. I like peshwari naan personally.

SLP, is your mother in law to be the one doing the earnest art appreciation face on the Events tab? Practise that look for tonight.

says Nick. No Nick. It doesn't. That's a table.

Tell Nick James, who made this: that if I want to see a table, I'll go to Ikea. Artist shmartist!

Geordie Homer Simpson tbh. Mmmmm....curry.

Moon on a stick! What were you doing last night that prevented you watching the match, dickwad? Call yourself a fan!