Gemmill

I quite like limericks.

I didn't, but I do now. esprit d'escalier from "wit" and "stairs"; thinking of witty remark too late; hindsight or afterwit

Fucking hell lad, have a word with yourself! There's no other way to describe what he does, you'd believe the words even less if you saw what I looked like. I'm kicking myself for not telling you to have a murmur with yourself. It was too late to go back and edit though.

I quite like Elmore Leonard books. Easy to read and good storylines. Although he's written some shit - Pagan Babies for instance. Don't get that one.

Fucking hell lad, have a word with yourself!

Whoa, we've got a dispute!

I'm still disappointed in you.

As I used to work supporting the financial IT applications at our place, I got to know the company taxation manager very well. Sat down one day and basically worked out how much it was costing me in additional tax (on top of standard income tax). The car was costing me £60 a month and the fuel card £65 a month. All in all £125 a month. Even if I was living 10 miles down the road, there's no way on earth I'd be able to run my own brand new car on that amount, nor the cash equivalent (£4,500 a year gross). How long ago was it that you did that? They've pissed about a lot with the tax rules governing company cars. I guess you'd have noticed if you were all of a sudden getting hammered with extra tax like, but I think in general company car vs. privately owned these days, you're getting raped with a company car. Sounds like you've got a canny deal there - a lot depends on the lease cost and the cost attributed to the car in calculating your benefit in kind. If you get a decent balance of those it mightn't be as bad.

I'm disappointed in you David. People who go into work when they're sick are the OPPOSITE of nails. They are weak because they're scared of their boss. DO NOT BE WEAK! SLP Dave, not the other one.

No, that's exactly how it works. I'll quite often pause something as it's starting, go and do something and come back with it 12 minutes or so behind and start watching. Then like you say when you get to the ads you just fast forward through them. You just keep doing that every ad break until you eventually catch up. When you're watching live TV I think it always records something like the last half hour of the channel you're watching too, and sort of keeps a rolling float of 30 minutes worth even if you aren't recording. So say if you're watching something and the phone rings and you forget to pause it, when you get off the phone you can just rewind up to half an hour and start from where you left off.

You get caned on the tax for your private use fuel though, don't you? It's all classed as a benefit in kind. Are you certain you're better off doing things that way?

Sky + is absolute class. It used to be free to Skyworld subscribers. Well, the deal was that you either paid for your installation or you got the installation free if you moved your old box to a different room and paid £10 extra a month for multiroom. Not sure what the current deal is. There is no ongoing subscription cost if you've got premium channels though.

You're no doubt a direct decendent of the court of King Henry VIII. VIII: "Bring in Master Robinson!" Gemmill: WHEEEEEEEEE! Tudors: :calmdown: VIII: ROFFLE. I suppose was there always someone mincing around in a jester suit when people were discussing things.

That happens on my box now mate and I've done no upgrades, so I don't think that's as a result of you upgrading. What I don't understand is where you find the time to watch that much telly though. Once mine gets over half full (10 hours) I pretty much know I'm going to be deleting at least 5 hours off there because I'll never get round to watching it. How can you watch 120 hours worth of stuff?! Do you have a lot of stuff on there that you plan to keep forever or something?

I'm waiting to see what position Renton's taking on that before responding. Gemmill's "contribution" to our discussion speaks volumes tbh. Aye it shows you what a plonker you are actually discussing the merits of dividing a day into 24 hours, an hour into 60 minutes and a minute into 60 seconds. Just shut up about it.

Ahhh, the healthy folk of North Shields. Just shows what a bad diet can do to you though - they would never have turned to armed robbery if they were getting their 5-a-day.

You two will argue about ANYTHING. It's great.

Please tell me that you wankers aren't now going to argue over an entirely different way of dividing up the hours in a day.

How is that any worse than imperial system, though? Things like seconds in a week are a pain to work out. Sorry to dwell on it, I don't want to seem like I'm spoiling (which Alex sounds like he is tbh!) Seriously Alex, are you in a bad mood today? The thing is the imperial system is completely irrational - 16 ounces in a pound, 14 pounds in a stone, fuck knows how many stones in a ton etc. Then there's length, area, volume etc. The other day Meenzers fat hom joke was almost loss because Gemmill didn't know there were 6 feet in a fathom. I can live with 24 and 60, and they are easily divisible. To change would be horrific and lead to the collapse of civilisation for a time imo. And anyway, who needs to know how many seconds there are in a week? Er excuse me, dickwad! I made the connection between the fathom and six feet, so shut it.

Are we all friends again?

Surely if you go somewhere decent they won't make that mistake though?? There's that Optimax place in the town....

Hold your penis.

I too have no concept of what a gram of weight feels like. Perhaps we're all idiots.

You wear contacts don't you? And glasses sometimes, yes. But Dave is the one who exposed that particular weakness in this thread, so he got the treatment! I would fancy getting the laser treatment done too. I've probably spent far more on glasses and lenses than it would cost to get the fuckers sorted.

You'd have glue-eye though and they would think you were winking at them.