Gemmill

Some of the author's other great articles.

Sat in the corner with your hands over your ears, repeating "three more stops three more stops three more stops".

The kid singing is the one that flicked Renton's ears.

8 scored vs 3.94 xG according to MOTD2.

11 precisely. Out of 61 iirc.

The shark breaks Brodie in the end.

Agreed. PaddockLad yet again disgracing himself on the biggest stage of all.

The New Lurl Dorder.

The civilian equivalent of the dreaded badgekisser.

I'm perfectly happy to admit when I'm wrong, it just basically never happens.

Sounds like Barnes might have broken his toe BTW, which is a blow.

Yeah, I was def slagging him off at some point last season too, but clearly I was wrong. It's not even that he looks like someone that's playing above themselves for Howe either. He's just really good, still young, and he seems a dead nice kid too.

Aye, Nketiah's I'm a cowardly little cunt coming out party too. Only a certain type of player does shit like that.

Legbreaker. Yellow.

Nketiah on the Spurs keeper BTW. Outrageous that he didn't get a VAR red for that.

I bet Longstaff and Burn have been enjoying explaining to Anderson AGAIN that they're the only geordies that are allowed to score.

The famous NUFC dress shirt incident.

The Steve Bruce school of post match interviews.

What was he saying? He reckoned the ref was dictating his team's tactics against Spurs last week just cos he wouldn't let the keeper take the piss with time wasting on goal kicks.

Howe: we knew this was going to be a really difficult game.

Our GD 12 better than Man United's now. Suck it baldy.

Bit of rockin all over the world (Eddie Howe and Jason Tindall) there. Love it.

Well they can fuck right off back to the Championship. Dogshit and cynical as fuck. Three clean sheets in the last week, 6 PL points and a CL point at the San Siro. What a fucking week.

We've filled up their senses good and proper here.

I'd fancy us to do similar to Burnley next weekend too, especially the way they try and knock it about a bit. Isak. A lovely bit of piss taking too.