ChezGiven

The dog looks amazing. You look like a charva Tony Blair.

Rooney has had a surprisingly decent half of football. Looks right at it. I fucking hate Van Persie, that elbow in the face was snide as fuck.

The Samsung phones are built to perform in spec tests, its been shown they are optimised to show scores beyond the normal functioning of the phone. The differences are very large but it mainly tells you about how they market the phone.

Weaving the lyric 'that'll be £20 please' into the Happy Birthday song in front of the whole restaurant. Cheers.

Don't be thick. I was talking about complaining about Pardew. It's worked to be fair.

Story seems to be planted by the Palace hierarchy to tell Pardew if he does resign he has a job to go to. I've supported Pardew throughout as he gets on with a very tough job in stupidly difficult circumstances. The galvanising in 10/11 and the 5th in 11/12 bought him a lot of time from me. If he went and by some miracle we bring in a manager known for tactical intelligence and attacking football, no one would give a fuck though. However, part of me still thinks Ashely brought in Kinnear to shut the complaining fans up and to be fair, if Pardew does turn things around this year, he would have a point.

We've always got on quite well me and you.

Cheers mate! Loads of stuff. Grandma passing away was hard to bear and I had a few problems resolving how I felt about it. Our lass is pregnant with our second. She doesn't want to know the sex. I do. Been managing an MBA intern who we have just employed and who will work for me. Planned and executed the best 40th birthday weekend party ever. Got wasted, flew to south of France and then actually turned 40. Our lass took me to a ridiculously posh restaurant last night and as she was pregnant, I was drinking for 2. Other stuff too but those are the highlights!

It was my 40th birthday yesterday. Loads of stuff has happened recently which I've not been minded to share but at some point you've got to. In a great mood and in love with the world. Toontastic is full of great people and i love you all. How drunk am ?I

Tell me more. I've not seen either of our first two games so I've no idea what's going on.

Is he fuck man MF.

Very little idea at the moment. You're saying with certainty anywhere within 50% of possible eventual outcomes? Or more realistically since the top 4 is out of reach of everyone, you're saying anywhere within 65% of possible outcomes. Sounds pretty certain

So where are we going to finish this season then?

SLP slapping his Geordie cock down into Gemmill's Yorkshire pudding there.

Parky thinks Happy Face is middle class as he can't comprehend someone being working class and highly intelligent. As much as I love Parky, he's a terrible snob really.

Good post OFT, might not agree on all points on all players but I wholeheartedly agree with sentiment. One of my biggest issues with Pardew's critics last season was their inability to see the limitations of the players we have. Even Ben Arfa, our best player, is limited due to his personality on the pitch. The nature of the club means our best players will have flaws with the current transfer model even more likely to bring in disparate characters. In this sense, we need a manager who can bring the best out of players, something Pardew did in 11/12 but not in 12/13.

Couple of wins, Cabaye stays and its no longer doom and gloom. Human beings a very poor at dealing with uncertainty. Studies show that we are unable to assess uncertain events and over emphasize small factors and give them disproportionate prominence in our forecasts of what will come (i'm vibing off Kahneman at the moment). What Ashley has done this summer is to introduce enormous uncertainty to the club, to the extent that people cant really assess what actually happening. I certainly dont think the situation is as bad as some are making out. However, there is huge frustration at the lack of development and ambition. After we were relegated and came back up, humility was the name of the game. Now we have been back 3 seasons, its time to show a bit more. Not less. Pardew comparing us to West Ham is fine but he should be talking about the lost gap between us and Spurs in the last 6 years and what we plan to do to address it.

"Took the North circular mate, came off and took the Finchley road, it was crawling along, got to Swiss cottage 30 minuets later. Took me ages to find a spot..... ZzzzzZzzzz" Just mentioned it in passing mate.

I think you've misunderstood my diet. I eat healthily all the time. The best things I eat are not that great for you, i just wish i could eat them more. They are still a million times better than processed foods etc.

The best foods are not that healthy. We eat a lot fresh fruit and salads (well over the summer months when its in season) and love them, healthy foods are lush but the best things tend not to be. I live with a French woman ffs, our diet is uber healthy.

If that's what you took from my post its a shame. I'll simplify: longevity is not the goal. My grandma died a couple of months back at the age of 103. She spent the last few years with a very low quality of life. I think, given the choice, she might have traded off those last few years for an extra few years earlier in her life with better mobility or ability to enjoy life. Sure, a long life full of joy, family and friendships is what we all want. However, the idea that longevity does not come at the expense of foregone pleasure is a nonsense. When I see cooking posts saying 'yummy I just had brown rice & mungo bean bake, topped with a delicious carrot rapé and non-oil based dressing' I think aye, sounds alright but if you think that's 'yummy' then you need a tour of European restaurants with me. That tour will not be good for longevity. Wine, red meat, cheese etc all come with a trade off. The point being the best things in life are not free but you've got to find a balance. One element of that balance is not being a boring cunt who talks endlessly about their gym visits. That is the sort of person who turns up at a party and talks about the drive there and the parking. This person may live longer but is ultimately wasting the planet's oxygen resources.

The light that burns twice as bright burns half as long. I think I started to think deeply about death when I was around 36, yes you want to live as long as you can but you also want to fill your life with love, family & friendships. A long life accumulates more memories of these things but only if they are there to start with. I'd rather 60 years filled with great joy than 80 years full of pain and loneliness.

Is that the fat ginger lad we're signing?

Someone put a comment up with a link to this thread with just the words 'our research' in the post.

http://m.shieldsgazette.com/sport/football/newcastle-united/breakdown-of-mike-ashley-s-transfer-dealings-reveal-18m-profit-1-5973100 Did they just nick that from here?