[The wizard 🧙‍♂️]

23 minutes ago, Kevin Carr's Gloves said:

Ffs sort your formatting 

Fixed. 
 

[What's Currently Wrong With You]

30 minutes ago, Howmanheyman said:

 

He never made it, sorry to be the one to have to tell you. 

At least when the end came, it was tranquil. 

[What's Currently Wrong With You]

Can I give you a bell next week just before I put the lottery on? 

[What's Currently Wrong With You]

Aye, I’m sure you could have done without that diagnosis. 
 

Was it something you were aware of or did it come totally out of the blue?

[2025/26 - Generic NUFC Chat. Cunts ☑️]

3 hours ago, Duffman said:

 

 

What website are you guys using to make these images?

I generally use www.whyaiman.co.uk for all my NUFC related environmentally disastrous picture generation. 

[Outage Gubbins]

1 hour ago, Dr Gloom said:

Yes please. This place has become about as reliable as one of Gemmill’s predictions 

 

1 hour ago, Alex said:

Could I get it too, please? Cheers 

Sent. 
 

Check your pm’s gents. 

[Other Games 2024-25]

7 hours ago, Isegrim said:

I watched the Croatian cup final yesterday. The stadium in Rijeka is well worth an away trip.

In The Cage? 

[Other Games 2024-25]

I’ve just got home from a rare evening out with Mrs. F. and a couple of friends. 
 

Local curry emporium, four pints of Kingfisher, absolutely fit to drop 

 

We attempted a drink afterwards at the Scotsman, but gave up as it’s a fucking zoo. 

[Transfers, 2024-25 season]

1 hour ago, Toonpack said:

 

Don't be daft, whats the wirtz that could happen.

They might have a Terry Mac “sign Peres” moment …

 

[Outage Gubbins]

8 minutes ago, Dazzler said:

And his chod in a hoover or was that someone else?

That might have occurred at the same time he was proposing that the best way to get rid of Ashley was for NUSC to buy a pub. 
 

 

[Outage Gubbins]

1 minute ago, Gemmill said:

Hard to believe the man speaking has a sofa in his garden, isn't it? 

And three older ones hoyed over the fence in to the field. 

[Toontastic Fantasy Premier League 24/25]

40 minutes ago, MrBass said:

Disappointing MF. I’d expect your design to at least feature some massive tits, and I don’t mean Gemmill and Fish. 

I mean, there’s a whopping great cunt right in the middle of it, you need to calm down , Dear. 

[Toontastic Fantasy Premier League 24/25]

14 minutes ago, MrBass said:

Did my 2025 Winners badge get lost in the “it never happened” reset?

Nope, here you go. 

[Outage Gubbins]

Just for historical purposes, this is the point where the place went squarely tits up. 
 

[Outage Gubbins]

5 minutes ago, Christmas Tree said:

Be a good idea to set up the top 20 or so thread titles on there so we can use it properly.

 

IE politics, transfers, NUFC chat Belta Minge etc

Fyp

[Transfers, 2024-25 season]

He’s left Liverpool???

 

 

Boooooooo!

[Outage Gubbins]

15 minutes ago, Rayvin said:

other than Dave

Which one, Comedy, Blogger or Bravado? 

[Outage Gubbins]

2 minutes ago, NJS said:

Can you let me have the link please MF? Thanks. 

 

2 minutes ago, trophyshy said:

plz marra.  FTM.

Done gents. 
 

If you have any problems signing up, tough shit, I haven’t got a fucking clue beyond sharing the link 

[Outage Gubbins]

Just in case anyone still hasn’t signed up to the discord, if you let me know I’ll tag you in a pm with the sign up link. 
 

 

[Outage Gubbins]

Just now, RobinRobin said:

the hot Mitch summer died

Say whaaat? 
 

He’s gone???? 

[Outage Gubbins]

check your messages Fish, in between rattling your jewellery and selling clothes pegs. 

[Outage Gubbins]

Just now, The Fish said:

No, for my charm bracelet.

Ah, I see, I was going to send you a pm with all the gubbins, but I’m no good with gypsy shit, so you’ll just have to get fucked 

[Outage Gubbins]

3 minutes ago, The Fish said:

 

Have you got a link?

For the discord? 

[mackem messageboard gold]

9 hours ago, Christmas Tree said:

Might see if I can get a season ticket for Sunderland so I get a chance to watch us live next season.

This is another one of your schemes, isn’t it? 
You’ve clearly put as much thought in to this as you have every other scheme you’ve come up with in the past, so let me do the thinking for you- don’t bother 

 

But, like every other past scheme, we know you’ll take any advice with a hefty pinch of salt and totally ignore it, so, to save your poor Mrs from getting another “suspicious activity” alert on the savings account, here’s what you do.…

 

Your cheapest season ticket is £490, so open your bitchcoin account, find that lump you’ve been “hodling for the bull run”, and cash it all in. 
 

Then, sell the metecting gear- get an add on Craigslist, cash only, and flog it as a “beginner’s set”.
Say it comes with a free lifetime membership of Sunderland Archaeological Diggers ( Boldon And South Tyneside Area Rural Division), and knock up a mug with the above printed on it

( You might want to go initials only to save a few quid on costs)
Meet them in a field, that you’ve previously scattered with some iron filings, hand over the kit, get the cash, and once they’ve got headphones on and get the first BEEP, fucking skedaddle! 
 

So, you’ve bought your ticket. 
 

Firstly, you’re only going to see one of the two derbies- you’ve got no chance of getting a ticket for the SJP game, so you’re stuck with the game at the SoS. 
 

Obviously, you’ll be in the home seats, aka the Toilets, so you’ll need a few tips to blend in with the locals and not be outed as a Maggy Bastid. 
 

DRESS- You’ll need one of their tops, and some Sports Direct bargain tracky bottoms. 
Get them now, two sizes too small. and dump them in the garden-don’t wash them before the game. 
 

PATTER- For general patter, look back on your posts in the Brexit and Politics threads from around 2016, memorise them and crack on, you’ll fit right in. 
 
When it comes to past players, unless it’s Bally or Quinny , spit on the ground if anyone mentions any player who has left the club, especially if they’re black. 

Also, get some practice in at BEWWING! 
You’ll need to do this most of the time you’re in there. 

If all else fails, whip out some pocket cheese and offer it around. 
 

Which brings us to…

FOOD- once you hit the concession stand , pre-match, twenty minutes in, at HT, and 50 minutes in, you’re at risk of discovery unless you follow two simple rules;

The only acceptable topping for your bucket of chips is cheeyse. 
The only acceptable drink is Blue. 
 

After 50 minutes you can relax as every fucker will have left anyway. 
 

TOILET BREAKS- given your pea-sized bladder, you’ll be pleased to note that you won’t need to leave your seat if you need the bog, in fact, getting up to go to the bog will likely raise suspicions of Magness, so stay put and evacuate in-situ. 
 

Finally, don’t forget to add FTM at the end of everything you say, marra. 
 

Enjoy. 

 

[mackem messageboard gold]

It’s a bit of a disastrous day for their club to be honest
all we’ve heard for over a decade from there lot is how the Premier League is shit and they don’t wanna be in it- so obviously since they’re such a fine principled set of fans they’re going to see a drop off in Match day attendances, the lakes of which they won’t have experienced since a few weeks ago