goldman

As I survey the wreckage that the once mighty NUFC has become, I'm torn between a desire not to give a fucking shit about the club anymore, and a will that somehow the club can turn around and that the team become competitive, stable and respectable again. Really wish I didn't care. In some respects I don't. Don't really care about or like any of the players, feel sorry for one or two who look like broken men, but don't hold them in the same regard as Beardsley, Ferdinand, Shearer or Solano. As for JFK, Ashley, Wise, this tragic comedy must surely be their final jobs in the game. There's nowhere else they could go after this so surely that's them done for, they're all just clinging on now. They all make me puke, Wise particularly. We look like a Championship side. The personnel, the way we play, our league position. I don't know what would be worse, relegation or having to watch this crap again next season. It all feels a bit like Leeds, which is about as depressing an indictment imaginable.

To be honest the sooner Smith comes back and starts banging the goals in, the better. With his excellent strike record we'll quickly be whizzing up the table and challenging for honours...... (sob)

One of the reasons Wise was brought in is because he's mates with Ashley through some third party. Both were involved in overseas time-share deals and through this other guy they apparently got to know each other, hit it off and have been pretty tight ever since. Don't know who he is exactly before anyone asks, just heard this from someone today. Ashley appparently thinks Wise is a top man for some inexplicable reason, and despite him having zero experience and no real affinity with NUFC, gave him this very influential job. If I was Keegan I'd piss off too, rather than be undermined by Wise. If I was Owen I'd also piss off, given we're almost certainly onto the fifth manager since he signed three years ago. If it wasn't so depressing it would almost be funny.

Apparently Jamie Redknapp was touting a lot of done deal bollocks to the papers on Friday morning.

Smith is a complete cunt

At least Johnson could play in goal if necessary as well. I seem to remember him saving a goal bound Robert free kick several years ago in a cup game against Chelsea. Ho ho

Southgate is bit of a knob, isn't he? His celebration of Mido's goal was crigeworthy. And he's got shite girly hair.

The Times did a piece on the 50 worst footballers ever to play in the UK. Their website has asked punters to send in players who were overlooked. Apparently it's more bad news for NUFC: 5. Jon Dahl Tommasson (Newcastle United). “His period in Newcastle was AWFUL.... he's is probably capable of filling that whole list alone” (Peter Ley, Aarhus, Danmark). 4. Silvio Maric (Newcastle United): “a waste of a shirt peg. Actually Newcastle could probably put out a first eleven players who would all make this list.” (Bruce, Dublin, Ireland) 3. Marcelino (Newcastle United): “Missed half a season with a broken finger.” (demondegs, Coventry); “he had a better influence on the match when he was in the sick room” (Pabs, Newcastle upon Tyne) And in joint first place, by overwhelming popular demand: 1=. Titus Bramble and Jean-Alain Boumsong (Newcastle United). “Oh save my soul. You have got to give praise to Titus Bramble and Jean Alain Boumsong, the best defensive pairing ever in the history of football.” (Kwame Asante, London). “Titus the Terrible is a shocking omission. I've never seen one player strike fear into his own set of fans so much as Bramble, and then there's his sidekick, Boumsong the boy blunder.” (Danny O'B, Buncrana, Donegal) “Boumsong …couldn't read the play, couldn't tackle without hacking a man down, couldn't mark, no positional sense....not bad for a defender.” (YMW, London) “Bramble and Boumsong formed the worst defensive partnership I have ever seen. The funny thing is: why did every Newcastle manager over the last 7 years insist on playing Bramble? They've all been sacked and rightly so.” Alex, Southampton). Fumaca also makes it in at number 9.

Newcastle is one of the clubs being investigated by police in a corruption inquiry

Solano

Ah, sorry , bit slow - I see Ken Bates comparison has already benn mentioned. I'll get me coat....

Maybe Fat Fuck staying on as Chairman is just a temporary transitional thing. Hopefully he'll piss off relatively soon when he realises he's just making up numbers. Didn't Ken Bates hang around like a bd smell at Chelasea for while before going off to make Leeds even more crap? And I know its quite different, but there was that weird thing where Roy Evans sat about on the bench with Houllier for half a season or so at Liverpool a while back. So hopefully we'll all be able to breathe a huge collective sigh of relief in the not too distant future when Fatty packs his bags for good.

The BBC guy sounds like a bit of a cock. But he basically got this bit right: "Improve a mediocre team. Rebuild a broken dressing room. Convince Michael Owen to stay at Newcastle. And win their first trophy in nearly 40 years.'' If Allardyce could do all that he'd be worth his considerable weight in gold. I think he'd be doing OK if he managed just the first two.

Most Sven-based jobs end in smut and filth too. If he were Newcastle manager how long would it be before he was done by the News of the Screws for shagging some tart, making the club even more of a laughing stock.

I'd rather sell Owen, play boring 4-5-1 formation, not score a lot of goals but actually finish somewhere in the top six, than witness the shite served up this season again. Buying some actual defenders isn't a bad idea. Trying to keep clean sheets might help too. Owen probably wouldn't do too well as lone striker. Does Big Sam always favour a 4-5-1?