"Your daddy's rich and your mother is good looking"..

[Radgina 1]

Bobby , if they were fathered by your father so to speak then they would be your half sisters and brothers, not step ??

I never knew my dad, mam married my stepdad when I was about 12, but I can't imagine a "real" father being any better than him

[Park Life 71]

I understand why in some families there are valid reasons why they no longer speak but in a lot of cases it's just sheer stupidity.

 

My old man was really close to one of his brothers, used to see each other for a pint every week right through their married lives despite not living in the same town. His brother got himself into some financial trouble and my old man lent him some money. The brother was then obviously too embarassed to get in touch because he couldn't pay it back. My old man felt like he couldn't get in touch with him because it would look like he was chasing him for the money, even though he wasn't bothered about it and had written it off to help him out. End result they didn't speak a word for the 15 years before they both died. Both ended up losing their best mate over nowt

 

I'd urge anybody to think long & hard about why they don't speak to their family, it might be a valid reason but it soon becomes too late to rectify it. You are a long time dead!

 

Wise words indeed.

[Park Life 71]

I go to me mams for my tea every Thursday and I go to my dads/the pub/he comes to mine every Tuesday. Get on with both brilliant, though I did move back in for a couple of weeks a few years ago and it quickly descended into a living hell. I became George Costanza.

 

One thing that annoys me about my dad though, he ALWAYS slags me off for paying to go to the football and supporting the Toon. He's from the Isle of man and has never really followed a specific team, though he does like the game. He cannot grasp anyone lining the pockets of the prima donna players and constantly being disappointed by them. I suppose he's right, but it gets annoying when we're getting trounced and he sends a sarky text saying "Oh dear!"

 

What a twat!

 

[Park Life 71]

Oh by the way, my mum is one of the most amazing people you will ever meet, unfortunately she comes from that generation that believed you tried to keep the family together at all costs.

 

 

My mother split from my real father when I was 3, so I never knew him, he died a couple of years ago. Seemingly I have step sisters n brothers. Never been interested in seeing him (especially now ) but when I found out he had died I was a bit upset

 

My mother married the bloke who people class as my dad and I was adopted by him. Always thought him to be a twat but as we get older we get on better. My mother fucked of and left him when I was 14, so the poor bloke was left with someone elses kid so I think he has been good to me (twat)

 

My mother (slut) then married another bloke, stuck up C*nt. he now claims to be my step dad (no way hose)

 

Anyway only parents I have ever got on with are my grand parents who brought me up, and in later years took me in when I was in trouble or needing somewhere to live. Got hoyed out the hoose at 15.

 

You should definately pursue the comedy.

[sammynb 2934]

I understand why in some families there are valid reasons why they no longer speak but in a lot of cases it's just sheer stupidity.

 

My old man was really close to one of his brothers, used to see each other for a pint every week right through their married lives despite not living in the same town. His brother got himself into some financial trouble and my old man lent him some money. The brother was then obviously too embarassed to get in touch because he couldn't pay it back. My old man felt like he couldn't get in touch with him because it would look like he was chasing him for the money, even though he wasn't bothered about it and had written it off to help him out. End result they didn't speak a word for the 15 years before they both died. Both ended up losing their best mate over nowt

 

I'd urge anybody to think long & hard about why they don't speak to their family, it might be a valid reason but it soon becomes too late to rectify it. You are a long time dead!

 

Wise words indeed.

Nice one confucius, go buy a fortune cookie.

[Park Life 71]

I understand why in some families there are valid reasons why they no longer speak but in a lot of cases it's just sheer stupidity.

 

My old man was really close to one of his brothers, used to see each other for a pint every week right through their married lives despite not living in the same town. His brother got himself into some financial trouble and my old man lent him some money. The brother was then obviously too embarassed to get in touch because he couldn't pay it back. My old man felt like he couldn't get in touch with him because it would look like he was chasing him for the money, even though he wasn't bothered about it and had written it off to help him out. End result they didn't speak a word for the 15 years before they both died. Both ended up losing their best mate over nowt

 

I'd urge anybody to think long & hard about why they don't speak to their family, it might be a valid reason but it soon becomes too late to rectify it. You are a long time dead!

 

Wise words indeed.

Nice one confucius, go buy a fortune cookie.

 

Sorry Sammy I already put that up before I got to your rebuttal.

[NJS 4006]

My Dad died 15 years ago - never had a problem with him - he was a damn good man.

 

My Mam who was an inspiration to me in trying to always find the best in people died last May - this may sound preachy but those of you who've lost touch or have problems - I'd echo the urges to get them sorted before....

[sammynb 2934]

I understand why in some families there are valid reasons why they no longer speak but in a lot of cases it's just sheer stupidity.

 

My old man was really close to one of his brothers, used to see each other for a pint every week right through their married lives despite not living in the same town. His brother got himself into some financial trouble and my old man lent him some money. The brother was then obviously too embarassed to get in touch because he couldn't pay it back. My old man felt like he couldn't get in touch with him because it would look like he was chasing him for the money, even though he wasn't bothered about it and had written it off to help him out. End result they didn't speak a word for the 15 years before they both died. Both ended up losing their best mate over nowt

 

I'd urge anybody to think long & hard about why they don't speak to their family, it might be a valid reason but it soon becomes too late to rectify it. You are a long time dead!

 

Wise words indeed.

Nice one confucius, go buy a fortune cookie.

 

Sorry Sammy I already put that up before I got to your rebuttal.

Parky don't be sorry just be aware it's not always a valid solution.

[Park Life 71]

I understand why in some families there are valid reasons why they no longer speak but in a lot of cases it's just sheer stupidity.

 

My old man was really close to one of his brothers, used to see each other for a pint every week right through their married lives despite not living in the same town. His brother got himself into some financial trouble and my old man lent him some money. The brother was then obviously too embarassed to get in touch because he couldn't pay it back. My old man felt like he couldn't get in touch with him because it would look like he was chasing him for the money, even though he wasn't bothered about it and had written it off to help him out. End result they didn't speak a word for the 15 years before they both died. Both ended up losing their best mate over nowt

 

I'd urge anybody to think long & hard about why they don't speak to their family, it might be a valid reason but it soon becomes too late to rectify it. You are a long time dead!

 

Wise words indeed.

Nice one confucius, go buy a fortune cookie.

 

Sorry Sammy I already put that up before I got to your rebuttal.

Parky don't be sorry just be aware it's not always a valid solution.

 

Believe me I am aware.

[sammynb 2934]

My Dad died 15 years ago - never had a problem with him - he was a damn good man.

 

My Mam who was an inspiration to me in trying to always find the best in people died last May - this may sound preachy but those of you who've lost touch or have problems - I'd echo the urges to get them sorted before....

Before fucking what?

What is so hard to understand here?

If you haven't had a relationship for 10 years plus because things aren't good, what is the difference between when they alive and not in contact and dead and not in contact?

Fucking mormons!

[Happy Face 29]

My Dad died 15 years ago - never had a problem with him - he was a damn good man.

 

My Mam who was an inspiration to me in trying to always find the best in people died last May - this may sound preachy but those of you who've lost touch or have problems - I'd echo the urges to get them sorted before....

Before fucking what?

What is so hard to understand here?

If you haven't had a relationship for 10 years plus because things aren't good, what is the difference between when they alive and not in contact and dead and not in contact?

Fucking mormons!

 

I'd have thought the difference is that it's possible.

[The Fish 9235]

sammy man, it's obvious you've got things going on that we've no idea about, but all that people on here are saying is in general it's a good idea to put aside grudges or whatever.

 

this is obviously not the case for everyone, but it is the general rule.

 

fucks sake I doubt anyone is suggesting the victim of child abuse should pally up with their abuser, or if the bloke was nothing more than a sperm donor, or if the mother wanted nowt to do with them.

 

it's just in general, it's a good idea to stay in touch with your family.

 

calm down FFS

[Gemmill 35528]

My Dad died 15 years ago - never had a problem with him - he was a damn good man.

 

My Mam who was an inspiration to me in trying to always find the best in people died last May - this may sound preachy but those of you who've lost touch or have problems - I'd echo the urges to get them sorted before....

Before fucking what?

What is so hard to understand here?

If you haven't had a relationship for 10 years plus because things aren't good, what is the difference between when they alive and not in contact and dead and not in contact?

Fucking mormons!

 

Fuck's sake man, wind your neck in. We've established that you don't plan on contacting your dad. Believe it or not, this advice isn't directed solely at you.

[sammynb 2934]

My Dad died 15 years ago - never had a problem with him - he was a damn good man.

 

My Mam who was an inspiration to me in trying to always find the best in people died last May - this may sound preachy but those of you who've lost touch or have problems - I'd echo the urges to get them sorted before....

Before fucking what?

What is so hard to understand here?

If you haven't had a relationship for 10 years plus because things aren't good, what is the difference between when they alive and not in contact and dead and not in contact?

Fucking mormons!

 

Fuck's sake man, wind your neck in. We've established that you don't plan on contacting your dad. Believe it or not, this advice isn't directed solely at you.

Yes aunty Gemma but as I said in a previous post how do you think others also feel, I'm not the only one here if you hadn't noticed?

It's amazing how many give this advice with no actual knowledge of situations/relationships.

 

As for winding my neck in, fair call pissflaps - done.

 

Edit: Actually not done.

By the way my younger sister who is still in touch with the old man a couple of years ago asked if it would be ok for him to get in touch, to which I told her, no not really. Turns out he was ill and thought he was going to die. All he wanted to do was make his peace with himself, that he'd tried to rectify things, so he could leave this mortal coil knowing he was forgiven and take that justification to his maker.

Turns out he got better and yet he never actually made an effort.

I've tracked down people/colleagues/friends I haven't seen for 10 years without to much trouble and yet for some people it's to hard to look up a number in the phone book.

Edited February 26, 2007 by sammynb

[trophyshy 6443]

I'd like to add that it takes two to tango. Both in falling out and making up.

[Ketsbaia 0]

My mam's a fantastic person, even though we argue quite a bit. She's did so much for me and my brother over the years and we both appreciate the sacrafices she's made to give us everything we've ever wanted even though she earns a pittance.

 

My father on the other hand is a wanker. He ran off with another woman when I was five and my mam had to force him to see me and my brother for the first couple of months they were seperated. Apparently he "had a life of his own now" and wasn't intrested in being a Dad. I started to get on with him alright even though he did drag me to Sunderland games at every oppourtunity until he took me out on my birthday and told me he was moving to London - that broke my heart. After that I became fairly cynical towards him and it was of no suprise when with no warning he rang me from the airport saying he was moving to Australia. That was about 6 years ago now and ever since then he's been pestering me to go across and see him, that I wouldn't have to worry about paying so earlier this year I agreed. It gets to a few days before he's set to book it and all of a sudden I do have to pay for the trip because he wont use his airmiles. Since then he's began to kick up a fuss about paying maintence for us since he now has two new bairns. That would be fair enough if he hadn't paid massively under the odds since he first left and never had it increased once. He can afford to build a house with a swimming pool but not pay for his two sons.

 

I've pretty much given up hope of having a father-son relationship with him since I don't see him as my Dad. You know what, I don't need the relationship either. I've managed well enough without him through 'the difficult teenage years', it'll be a piece of piss from now on

 

That's the shortened version of my life story. Believe me, in the feature length one there's alot more tears before bedtime and broken promises. Sorry for ranting ladies and gents

Edited February 26, 2007 by Skol

[The Fish 9235]

I'd like to add that it takes two to tango. Both in falling out and making up.

thats naive

[Park Life 71]

My mam's a fantastic person, even though we argue quite a bit. She's did so much for me and my brother over the years and we both appreciate the sacrafices she's made to give us everything we've ever wanted even though she earns a pittance.

 

My father on the other hand is a wanker. He ran off with another woman when I was five and my mam had to force him to see me and my brother for the first couple of months they were seperated. Apparently he "had a life of his own now" and wasn't intrested in being a Dad. I started to get on with him alright even though he did drag me to Sunderland games at every oppourtunity until he took me out on my birthday and told me he was moving to London - that broke my heart. After that I became fairly cynical towards him and it was of no suprise when with no warning he rang me from the airport saying he was moving to Australia. That was about 6 years ago now and ever since then he's been pestering me to go across and see him, that I wouldn't have to worry about paying so earlier this year I agreed. It gets to a few days before he's set to book it and all of a sudden I do have to pay for the trip because he wont use his airmiles. Since then he's began to kick up a fuss about paying maintence for us since he now has two new bairns. That would be fair enough if he hadn't paid massively under the odds since he first left and never had it increased once. He can afford to build a house with a swimming pool but not pay for his two sons.

 

I've pretty much given up hope of having a father-son relationship with him since I don't see him as my Dad. You know what, I don't need the relationship either. I've managed well enough without him through 'the difficult teenage years', it'll be a piece of piss from now on

 

That's the shortened version of my life story. Believe me, in the feature length one there's alot more tears before bedtime and broken promises. Sorry for ranting ladies and gents

 

You'll be stronger for it mate. I was going to add that fathers think with their cocks....But alas it is a rather fragile pun.

[Happy Face 29]

The Oedipus complex is rife on here like.

[trophyshy 6443]

I'd like to add that it takes two to tango. Both in falling out and making up.

thats naive

 

not really. having tried to make up with my estranged mother and realised that she is not ready or able to for whatever reason then I would say that it is realistic.

 

To say that you should always try and work things out with someone while they are still alive assumes they are able to, want to, or both - that is naive.

Edited February 26, 2007 by trophyshy

[Super7 0]

[i've pretty much given up hope of having a father-son relationship with him since I don't see him as my Dad. You know what, I don't need the relationship either. I've managed well enough without him through 'the difficult teenage years', it'll be a piece of piss from now on

 

 

I know what you mean. I never had a great relationship with my dad but when he met his new wife (who is much younger than him) she didn't want him to have anything to do with me and my Sister. My Dad either didn't want to stand up to her or didn't have the bottle to. I tried a few times to have some kind of relationship but he didn't seem interested and I now get a phone call at Christmas and on my birthday. But you're right I have managed well enough without him and maybe no relationship is better than one that just causes everyone stress.

[Happy Face 29]

I've got an uncle in his second marriage who never sees his 3 daughters from the first. One of the nicest blokes I've ever met and he doted on them. His ex wasn't happy that he decided to end the marriage and refuses to allow him contact while also telling them what a bastard he is. Breaks his heart.

[Steve 0]

He can afford to build a house with a swimming pool but not pay for his two sons.

 

Not to defend the bloke Skol because he sounds like a cock, but a house with a pool is considerably cheaper to buy in Oz than it is here. I'm talking a fraction of the cost. Where in Oz does he live?

[Ketsbaia 0]

He can afford to build a house with a swimming pool but not pay for his two sons.

 

Not to defend the bloke Skol because he sounds like a cock, but a house with a pool is considerably cheaper to buy in Oz than it is here. I'm talking a fraction of the cost. Where in Oz does he live?

 

Brisbane.

[The Fish 9235]

I'd like to add that it takes two to tango. Both in falling out and making up.

thats naive

 

not really. having tried to make up with my estranged mother and realised that she is not ready or able to for whatever reason then I would say that it is realistic.

 

To say that you should always try and work things out with someone while they are still alive assumes they are able to, want to, or both - that is naive.

but to say that it takes two to tango with regards to falling out, is naive.

 

you could be the nicest guy in the world, but if your dad/son is a cock you could go the rest of your life without them. They entirely to blame for the break down of relationships and equally at fault for the failure to bridge the gap.

 

and I at no point suggested that everyone should try to patch things up, I said in General it's a good idea to try to rebuild a damaged relationship. I had thought that the "In General" caveat would be enough to make this clear...