Renton 17780 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 Thing is, I had to get him home, the lad was a mess and I couldn't just leave him. It's possibly the lowest point of my life. In a way it's a highlight of your life though, Saint SLP. I honestly would have left him I reckon. Maybe not, hope I never find out tbh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChezGiven 0 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 Thats some friendship. My mate had to discard his underwear in a club once as he had shat himself. He was breezy about the whole episode as he reckons he cleaned himself up with a combination of paper and dry underwear and dumped them in the cistern. Classy and quick thinking. How can someone be compus mentis enough to "clean themselves up with a combination of paper and dry underwear and dump them in the cistern", yet still shit themselves in the first place? Erm, it was the early 90s and it was one of those 'techno rave' things and he had imbibed arse-loosening doses of e iirc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChezGiven 0 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 Thing is, I had to get him home, the lad was a mess and I couldn't just leave him. It's possibly the lowest point of my life. In a way it's a highlight of your life though, Saint SLP. I honestly would have left him I reckon. Maybe not, hope I never find out tbh. I reckon i would have taken his t-shirt off and used that through fear of poo-finger. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 34464 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 There's no way I would have been able to wipe my mate's arse like. Racking my brains for how I could safely get him home, that wouldn't even make a list of "possibles". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChezGiven 0 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 I wonder how Sherly Crow would have managed in this situation. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/6583067.stm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renton 17780 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 I wonder how Sherly Crow would have managed in this situation. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/6583067.stm Urgh, the smelly arsed bint. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimbo 133 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 I wonder how Sherly Crow would have managed in this situation. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/6583067.stm Crow has suggested using "only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where two to three could be required". Fuck off, I have trouble keeping my arse tidy by using half a roll ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChezGiven 0 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 I wonder how Sherly Crow would have managed in this situation. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/6583067.stm Urgh, the smelly arsed bint. "All i wanna do, is wipe my bum, I got a feeling i'm not the only one" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renton 17780 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 Tbf I'd rather wipe her bum than SLP's mate's. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark 0 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 Fuck, I'm touching cloth, and my Ma's boyfriend has just gone in the shower. I swear down, I'm going to poo myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 34464 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 I wonder how Sherly Crow would have managed in this situation. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/6583067.stm Crow has also commented on her website about how she thinks paper napkins "represent the height of wastefulness". She has designed a clothing line with what she calls a "dining sleeve". The sleeve is detachable and can be replaced with another "dining sleeve" after the diner has used it to wipe his or her mouth. Wiping your mouth on your sleeve and then removing it. That's American table manners for you. I once ate in a restaurant in the US where a bloke picked up his entire steak on his fork and just held it like a lolly, chewing pieces off it. Chewing with your mouth wide open is also a fave in the US. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChezGiven 0 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 Tbf I'd rather wipe her bum than SLP's mate's. I'd wear Sherly Crow as a hat but i draw the line at poo games. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 34464 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 Tbf I'd rather wipe her bum than SLP's mate's. Beeee-ba-ba-ba-da-boh! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChezGiven 0 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark 0 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 I'm pretty close to shitting meself like. Good craic like. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Radgina 1 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 she'll get em from Primark, 50p a pair. On her wage it'll be the case that she'll take em out, wear em out, throw em out. Probably doesn't wear any tbh. The state of her sheets. How .Very.Dare you feckers !!!!! Never papped myself since I was two, nor wet myself either thanks....it's the hands and mouth that go when I'm pissed, not every other bodily function. FYI I have never bought underwear from Primark and my sheets are Egyptian Cotton and PRISTINE tyvm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetleftpeg 0 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 I don't want to go into too much detail, but I left the 'nitty gritty' ie anything going inny, to him. I just wiped round and about. Jesus wept, I can't believe I'm explaining this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark 0 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 Made it to the bog like. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 34464 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 Well done Mark. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark 0 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 Well done Mark. Cheers boss. I'm not in that euphoric stage after a shite, when you cant really do anything, but appreciate what you have just achieved. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChezGiven 0 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 I don't want to go into too much detail, but I left the 'nitty gritty' ie anything going inny, to him. I just wiped round and about. Jesus wept, I can't believe I'm explaining this. I dont know whether to laugh, spew or clap. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark 0 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 I would just take a picture of my mate, and send it to all my mates that know him. If it was a lass, I'd just shag her tbh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walliver 0 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 I would just take a picture of my mate, and send it to all my mates that know him. If it was a lass, I'd just shag her tbh. Up the arse or normally? If the poo's runny enough she'll be well lubricated! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark 0 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 Whatever hole I found first tbh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renton 17780 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 I don't want to go into too much detail, but I left the 'nitty gritty' ie anything going inny, to him. I just wiped round and about. Jesus wept, I can't believe I'm explaining this. The sweet corn was a bonus? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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