peasepud 59 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 Not this saturday. Just 2 saturdays in a row last year. Im sure if you took your funny man hat off you would have understood that Nope, Im sitting here totally hatless, not even a cap and I still dont see it in your post. Fop??? help me out here, explain it all in a way in which I'll become bored after the first line and therefore never even bother to read the thread again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renton 17841 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 Aside from my earlier declaration, I've just remembered there was this other time, actually, where I was stuck in a traffic jam on the M62 trying to make my way back from Birmingham to the north-east, and the traffic just stopped...and my stomach was rumbling like a rusty old washing machine. Managed to make it to the services just outside Leeds, only to get out of the car and feel my sphincter just beginning to erupt. I managed to waddle my way to the toilets, arriving in the nick of time at the toilet cubicle, running (well, speed-waddling) in, and slamming the door shut and locking it in a single ninja-like manouevre. Spun round, kecks down and *just* managed to sit before it exploded. Fuck me though, it sounded like Krakatoa and smelt like Bhopal. Had to sit there for 20 minutes afterwards to make sure nobody else was in the bogs before emerging from the cubicle shame-faced. You dirty bastid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fop 1 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 Fop??? help me out here, explain it all in a way in which I'll become bored after the first line and therefore never even bother to read the thread again. indeed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChezGiven 0 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 I've never done a full one in my pants but have lost count of the number of farts that gave me a wet sensation. Does a follow through count? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holden McGroin 4905 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 (edited) Dont ever recalling shitting myself tbh. Although I did find a little nugget on the bathroom floor last week. Thought it was a small malteser at first. Edited April 23, 2007 by Holden McGroin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GeordieMessiah 0 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 I've never done a full one in my pants but have lost count of the number of farts that gave me a wet sensation. Does a follow through count? I don't think it does. It only counts if you have more than a skidmark, i.e. if there's actual faecal matter stuck to your kecks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renton 17841 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 Dont ever recalling shitting myself tbh. Although I did find a little nugget on the bathroom for last week. Thought it was a small malteser at first. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renton 17841 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 I've never done a full one in my pants but have lost count of the number of farts that gave me a wet sensation. Does a follow through count? I don't think it does. It only counts if you have more than a skidmark, i.e. if there's actual faecal matter stuck to your kecks. What do you think a skid mark is composed of? I reckon your dumps would be huge mind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 34680 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 Dont ever recalling shitting myself tbh. Although I did find a little nugget on the bathroom for last week. Thought it was a small malteser at first. Aye, I thought the same when babysitting for my auntie years ago. Turns out my niece had left a shit on the floor. I picked the fucker up too before realising it wasn't a malteser. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renton 17841 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 Dont ever recalling shitting myself tbh. Although I did find a little nugget on the bathroom for last week. Thought it was a small malteser at first. Aye, I thought the same when babysitting for my auntie years ago. Turns out my niece had left a shit on the floor. I picked the fucker up too before realising it wasn't a malteser. I reckon you scoffed it without pause. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChezGiven 0 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 I've never done a full one in my pants but have lost count of the number of farts that gave me a wet sensation. Does a follow through count? I don't think it does. It only counts if you have more than a skidmark, i.e. if there's actual faecal matter stuck to your kecks. What do you think a skid mark is composed of? I reckon your dumps would be huge mind. Regularly hit the water before they have completely left his arse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lazarus 0 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 gemmill - thinking with his belly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 34680 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 I've never done a full one in my pants but have lost count of the number of farts that gave me a wet sensation. Does a follow through count? I don't think it does. It only counts if you have more than a skidmark, i.e. if there's actual faecal matter stuck to your kecks. What do you think a skid mark is composed of? I reckon your dumps would be huge mind. Like elephant dung tbh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetleftpeg 0 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 I think I might have mentioned the story of my mate shitting himself on the train after an away game, me wiping him up in the bogs at the station, then him shitting himself AGAIN 10 minutes later in the taxi home. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renton 17841 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 I think I might have mentioned the story of my mate shitting himself on the train after an away game, me wiping him up in the bogs at the station, then him shitting himself AGAIN 10 minutes later in the taxi home. Is that the one you take to piss ups? Didn't he go to his local after? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChezGiven 0 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 SLP, did you wipe your mates arse? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renton 17841 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 SLP, are you an arsewipe? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walliver 0 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 In the first couple of years at (primary) school. It was my first lesson of music and movement and I was shy at that age and too scared to ask the teacher if I could go to the toilet. I convinced myself that I could hold it in but I couldn't. I got my mate to ask the teacher if I could go before I ran/waddled through. Luckily I was weraing y-fronts so I managed to drop it in the toilet rather than on the floor. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetleftpeg 0 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 I think I might have mentioned the story of my mate shitting himself on the train after an away game, me wiping him up in the bogs at the station, then him shitting himself AGAIN 10 minutes later in the taxi home. Is that the one you take to piss ups? Didn't he go to his local after? No, it's not him. Although I do have a good story with him involving pissing on the top deck of the bus and it trickling down the stairs and...you get it. And Chez..yes..yes I did. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renton 17841 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 I wish I had a mate as nice as SLP. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChezGiven 0 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 (edited) Thats some friendship. My mate had to discard his underwear in a club once as he had shat himself. He was breezy about the whole episode as he reckons he cleaned himself up with a combination of paper and dry underwear and dumped them in the cistern. Classy and quick thinking. Edited April 23, 2007 by ChezGiven Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetleftpeg 0 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 Thing is, I had to get him home, the lad was a mess and I couldn't just leave him. It's possibly the lowest point of my life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 34680 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 Thats some friendship. My mate had to discard his underwear in a club once as he had shat himself. He was breezy about the whole episode as he reckons he cleaned himself up with a combination of paper and dry underwear and dumped them in the cistern. Classy and quick thinking. How can someone be compus mentis enough to "clean themselves up with a combination of paper and dry underwear and dump them in the cistern", yet still shit themselves in the first place? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 34680 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 Thing is, I had to get him home, the lad was a mess and I couldn't just leave him. It's possibly the lowest point of my life. The thought of you wiping your own mate's arse is fucking hilarious. Did your finger go through the paper? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChezGiven 0 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 Thing is, I had to get him home, the lad was a mess and I couldn't just leave him. It's possibly the lowest point of my life. From a christian point of view, probably your best moment. Who'd be a fucking christian eh? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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