jimburst 0 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 bahhh, I have only shit myself once, and it was from severe food poisoning, I felt so bad, I was in bed, knelt up to talk to my mate and almost puked, started wretching and felt a shit coming out the other end... ran out the door holding both arse and mouth...careering for the toilet... shat myself a little, but pulled my pants down and my arse exploded into the toilet, making the most noise ever at about 12:00 at night...but the worst was still to come... as I was shitting, i projectile vomited all over the bathroom floor... I was literally dripping from both ends Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magma 0 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 Last time I shitted myself was when I was sick and had dihoera at the same time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GeordieMessiah 0 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 bahhh, I have only shit myself once, and it was from severe food poisoning, I felt so bad, I was in bed, knelt up to talk to my mate and almost puked, started wretching and felt a shit coming out the other end... ran out the door holding both arse and mouth...careering for the toilet... shat myself a little, but pulled my pants down and my arse exploded into the toilet, making the most noise ever at about 12:00 at night...but the worst was still to come... as I was shitting, i projectile vomited all over the bathroom floor... I was literally dripping from both ends Class. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ketsbaia 0 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 (edited) Had a kebab one lunchtime at college, it went down well and all was fine until 10 minutes toward the end of my English Lit lecture when my stomach turned. I managed to make it out of the lesson and ended up deciding that I could hold it in until I got home as the bus that only takes 5 minutes was on the way. I should've known that the bus would be fucking late Eventually it arrived and I managed to make my way to the Galleries where I sprinted from the knees down toward the nearest and unfortunately filthiest toilet in the place. I locked the door behind me and shat my fucking brains out. I got on the next bus that would take me all the way to my house without further incident but spent the rest of the night glued to the toilet seat. I was still feeling canny grotty the next day and managed to wangle the day off. As I was lay in bed watching Trisha/Loose Women/This Morning etc. I let out what I thought was going to be a small pump only to be greeted by a trickle of liquid poo. Needless to say I was out of bed and on the toilet before it even had a chance to run down my leg. Edited April 23, 2007 by Skol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magma 0 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 Had a kebab one lunchtime at college, it went down well and all was fine until 10 minutes toward the end of my English Lit lecture when my stomach turned. I managed to make it out of the lesson and ended up deciding that I could hold it in until I got home as the bus that only takes 5 minutes was on the way. I should've known that the bus would be fucking late Eventually it arrived and I managed to make my way to the Galleries where I sprinted from the knees down toward the nearest and unfortunately filthiest toilet in the place. I locked the door behind me and shat my fucking brains out. I got on the next bus that would take me all the way to my house without further incident but spent the rest of the night glued to the toilet seat. I was still feeling canny grotty the next day and managed to wangle the day off. As I was lay in bed watching Trisha/Loose Women/This Morning etc. I let out what I thought was going to be a small pump only to be greeted by a trickle of liquid poo. Needless to say I was out of bed and on the toilet before it even had a chance to run down my leg. That last part wants 2 make me puke Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyluke 1 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 ive never shited me pants nor even come close. even when i used to drink and get stottin mortal on the snakebite - my arse never had a bad shift. I'm sure you started a thread about you shitting yourself sometime last year. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super_Steve_Howey 0 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 Took me ages to work out what was giving me such bad stomach cramps on a Sat'day mooching about town that without fail I had to resort to desperatly drive home. Turns out it was the combination of mega benders of vodka red bull on a Friday night, followed by a fry up from particular cafe. No mess though, unlike some of the dorty feckers in here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scottish Mag 3 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 ive never shited me pants nor even come close. even when i used to drink and get stottin mortal on the snakebite - my arse never had a bad shift. I'm sure you started a thread about you shitting yourself sometime last year. He shit in the garage.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brock Manson 0 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 ive never shited me pants nor even come close. even when i used to drink and get stottin mortal on the snakebite - my arse never had a bad shift. I'm sure you started a thread about you shitting yourself sometime last year. That were Zath. Charming thread it was too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bombadil 0 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 What is the correct grammar for "to shit"? Shit, shat, shat? No-one seems to know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
khay 8 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 I normally shit myself, there is not always someone around to do it for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Toplass-101 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 Neither shit or shat myself since Nov Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renton 17840 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 Neither shit or shat myself since Nov You want a medal? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Toplass-101 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 yeah Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom_NUFC 0 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 I've had a couple of slight follow throughs, but nothing too bad for years. The last proper shit myself incident I can remember was when I was at school. We had a Science lesson and I needed to go, and asked the teacher. But people had been acting up and he was making the whole class sit quietly and wouldn't let me. It wasn't far from the end of the lesson, so the lesson ended and I pelted off to the bog, in the cubicle, just pulling my trousers down and out it came, all over my boxers. Nightmare feeling. You're sitting there trying to work out what to do. Shall I scrape the shit off and just wear them - but then people will probably notice a smell and guess. So I took the boxers off, went commando for the rest of the day. Finished off, flushed the bog as normal. Took the boxers and flsuhed the bog again to 'wash' them. wrung them out and stuck them away in a small pocket in my bag. Fortunately, I got away with it and no one ever knew. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renton 17840 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 I've had a couple of slight follow throughs, but nothing too bad for years. The last proper shit myself incident I can remember was when I was at school. We had a Science lesson and I needed to go, and asked the teacher. But people had been acting up and he was making the whole class sit quietly and wouldn't let me. It wasn't far from the end of the lesson, so the lesson ended and I pelted off to the bog, in the cubicle, just pulling my trousers down and out it came, all over my boxers. Nightmare feeling. You're sitting there trying to work out what to do. Shall I scrape the shit off and just wear them - but then people will probably notice a smell and guess. So I took the boxers off, went commando for the rest of the day. Finished off, flushed the bog as normal. Took the boxers and flsuhed the bog again to 'wash' them. wrung them out and stuck them away in a small pocket in my bag. Fortunately, I got away with it and no one ever knew. Why didn't you just bin them you disgusting tramp? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom_NUFC 0 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 (edited) I've had a couple of slight follow throughs, but nothing too bad for years. The last proper shit myself incident I can remember was when I was at school. We had a Science lesson and I needed to go, and asked the teacher. But people had been acting up and he was making the whole class sit quietly and wouldn't let me. It wasn't far from the end of the lesson, so the lesson ended and I pelted off to the bog, in the cubicle, just pulling my trousers down and out it came, all over my boxers. Nightmare feeling. You're sitting there trying to work out what to do. Shall I scrape the shit off and just wear them - but then people will probably notice a smell and guess. So I took the boxers off, went commando for the rest of the day. Finished off, flushed the bog as normal. Took the boxers and flsuhed the bog again to 'wash' them. wrung them out and stuck them away in a small pocket in my bag. Fortunately, I got away with it and no one ever knew. Why didn't you just bin them you disgusting tramp? Where could I bin them at school? Besides they just needed a wash. I put them in the washer when I got home and they were fine. Edited April 23, 2007 by Tom_NUFC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ketsbaia 0 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 I've had a couple of slight follow throughs, but nothing too bad for years. The last proper shit myself incident I can remember was when I was at school. We had a Science lesson and I needed to go, and asked the teacher. But people had been acting up and he was making the whole class sit quietly and wouldn't let me. It wasn't far from the end of the lesson, so the lesson ended and I pelted off to the bog, in the cubicle, just pulling my trousers down and out it came, all over my boxers. Nightmare feeling. You're sitting there trying to work out what to do. Shall I scrape the shit off and just wear them - but then people will probably notice a smell and guess. So I took the boxers off, went commando for the rest of the day. Finished off, flushed the bog as normal. Took the boxers and flsuhed the bog again to 'wash' them. wrung them out and stuck them away in a small pocket in my bag. Fortunately, I got away with it and no one ever knew. Why didn't you just bin them you disgusting tramp? His mam had sewed his name in so if anyone found the cacky pants all would be revealed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Kenneth Noisewater 0 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 His mam had sewed his name in so if anyone found the cacky pants all would be revealed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimbo 133 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 His mam had sewed his name in so if anyone found the cacky pants all would be revealed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
titchy 0 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 What is the correct grammar for "to shit"? Shit, shat, shat? No-one seems to know. the most functional english word well,its shit.Thats right shit,shit may just be the most functional word in the english language,You cansmoke shit,buy shit,sell shit,lose shit,find shit, forget shit,and tell others to eat shit. Some people know there shit,while otherscant tell the difference between shit & shineola.There are lucky shits, dumb shits,crazy shits.There is bull shit,horse shitand chickenshit.You can throw shit,sling shit,catch shit,shoot the shit,orduck when the shit hits the fan.You cangive a shit or serve shit on a shingle.You can find yourself indeep shit or be happier than a pig in shit.Some days are colder than shit,some days are hotter than shit,and some days are just plain shitty.Some music sounds like shit,things can look like shit,and there are times when you feel like shit.You can have to much shit,not enough shit,the right shit,wrong shit or a lot ofwierd shit.You can carry shit,have a mountain of shit, or find yourself up shit creek without a paddle.Sometimes everthing you touch turns to shit and other times you can fall into a bucket of shit and come out smelling like a rose.When you stop to consider all the facts, its the basic building block of the english language and remember once you know your shit you dont need to know anything else! Well, shit, its time for me to go just wanted you to know that i give a shit and hope youve all had a nice day, without a bunch of shit but,if you happened to catch a load of shit- WELL SHIT HAPPENS!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GeordieMessiah 0 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 What is the correct grammar for "to shit"? Shit, shat, shat? No-one seems to know. the most functional english word well,its shit.Thats right shit,shit may just be the most functional word in the english language,You cansmoke shit,buy shit,sell shit,lose shit,find shit, forget shit,and tell others to eat shit. Some people know there shit,while otherscant tell the difference between shit & shineola.There are lucky shits, dumb shits,crazy shits.There is bull shit,horse shitand chickenshit.You can throw shit,sling shit,catch shit,shoot the shit,orduck when the shit hits the fan.You cangive a shit or serve shit on a shingle.You can find yourself indeep shit or be happier than a pig in shit.Some days are colder than shit,some days are hotter than shit,and some days are just plain shitty.Some music sounds like shit,things can look like shit,and there are times when you feel like shit.You can have to much shit,not enough shit,the right shit,wrong shit or a lot ofwierd shit.You can carry shit,have a mountain of shit, or find yourself up shit creek without a paddle.Sometimes everthing you touch turns to shit and other times you can fall into a bucket of shit and come out smelling like a rose.When you stop to consider all the facts, its the basic building block of the english language and remember once you know your shit you dont need to know anything else! Well, shit, its time for me to go just wanted you to know that i give a shit and hope youve all had a nice day, without a bunch of shit but,if you happened to catch a load of shit- WELL SHIT HAPPENS!!! Shit post Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gram 0 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 Never have but I always watched with amusement when people came to visit me in the Middle East. Pharoahs revenge can be very powerful! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meenzer 14075 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 What is the correct grammar for "to shit"? Shit, shat, shat? No-one seems to know. Shit, shat, geschotten. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Kenneth Noisewater 0 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 What is the correct grammar for "to shit"? Shit, shat, shat? No-one seems to know. the most functional english word well,its shit.Thats right shit,shit may just be the most functional word in the english language,You cansmoke shit,buy shit,sell shit,lose shit,find shit, forget shit,and tell others to eat shit. Some people know there shit,while otherscant tell the difference between shit & shineola.There are lucky shits, dumb shits,crazy shits.There is bull shit,horse shitand chickenshit.You can throw shit,sling shit,catch shit,shoot the shit,orduck when the shit hits the fan.You cangive a shit or serve shit on a shingle.You can find yourself indeep shit or be happier than a pig in shit.Some days are colder than shit,some days are hotter than shit,and some days are just plain shitty.Some music sounds like shit,things can look like shit,and there are times when you feel like shit.You can have to much shit,not enough shit,the right shit,wrong shit or a lot ofwierd shit.You can carry shit,have a mountain of shit, or find yourself up shit creek without a paddle.Sometimes everthing you touch turns to shit and other times you can fall into a bucket of shit and come out smelling like a rose.When you stop to consider all the facts, its the basic building block of the english language and remember once you know your shit you dont need to know anything else! Well, shit, its time for me to go just wanted you to know that i give a shit and hope youve all had a nice day, without a bunch of shit but,if you happened to catch a load of shit- WELL SHIT HAPPENS!!! Yeah, but that don't mean shit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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